I figured I'd better post something before I completely lose any audience I may have acquired...

Life is in a plateau zone right now, which is better than it could be, so I'll be grateful for that! I have many great friends, a good job & extra side career, a wonderful family & a sweet, albeit incredibly strange, cat. What more could a girl want, really?

I don't know - I have this underlying feeling lately of needing to break free - ride a roller coaster, eat a hamburger (even though I stopped liking those about 15 years ago) or ride a quad & get dirty. I just feel that I've become so focused on being a good parent, a responsible person, keeping everything organized, clean & just so, that I've strayed too far from the spontaneous, loud, trusting, grubby country girl that I used to be. Not that I want to have a crazy, dirty, disorganized life; I've become quite comfortable in my sane zone, but I think that I need to have a release of some sort to help me remember who I started out as & to know that it's okay that I still have some of that in me somewhere. Maybe this won't make any sense to you, but it's very real to me. I just don't know what I'll do about it yet. Of course, my spontaneous escape from my everyday reality will have to be meticulously planned, so that I can maintain the balance that I've fought so hard to keep.

Maybe I just need to have a day/night out without Tyson...I love that kid with every fiber of my being, but it's not good for either of us to spend so much time with eachother & no one else. He's getting way too used to having me all to himself. Sometimes I feel just a little suffocated by him; for instance, if I try to read my email, he's right there looking over my shoulder & gets his feelings hurt or gets suspicious when I ask him to leave my room so I can check my email or write in private. I know it's irrational, but I feel guilty about it, too! But, you know, if I wanted to complain about something Seth did, like in my previous blogs, or write about it to a friend, that's not something I want Tyson to see. At the same time, if I can't express my frustrations to others, how am I supposed to deal with it?

Anyway, enough whining...off to church tomorrow morning, where I'll be given my curriculum for the 3-4 y/o childrens' class I'll be starting to help with on the 15th. I'm really excited about the opportunity, if a little apprehensive.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2005 wasn't nearly as bad as I'd figured it would be, and I just know that 2006 will be even better! I've given up on resolutions long ago, as they tend to be just another way to feel guilty about all the things you know you should be doing, but aren't (or maybe, the things you are doing that you know you shouldn't be)!

This was a very relaxing weekend - we did the usual clearing out of Christmas stuff, and I went after Christmas shopping, which I probably shouldn't have done, because I spent entirely too much money at Bath & Body Works, but what was I supposed to do in the face of 50-75% off sales? I really had no choice! I also scored on a great area rug & picture for the living room, so I did some redecorating. I've been perusing this Trading Spaces book that Robbin gave me for Christmas, and it really gets me going! The picture is actually a painting on canvas in black, with a spotlight on a trumpet player sittig on a stool. I don't know the correct term for it, but he's made out of some sort of material that stands out from the canvas, all 3-D like. Really cool stuff!

Anyway, today is the last day to veg before our work & school week start again, so we're taking full advantage. As a matter of fact, I'm typing this naked! Just kidding! Wanted to see if you're really paying attention...But I am in my PJ's and have no desire to do anything about it! Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas & a safe & fun New Year.

I'll begin this post with saying that Tyson & I had a wonderful Christmas & enjoyed the Christmas Eve service at Applegate Christian Fellowship very much! We were invited by my good friend, Denise. We arrived in a fantastic winter wonderland in the middle of nowhere! They had hundreds of thousands of lights in every tree & bush, plus white & red poinsettas strategically placed & decorating the main stage, next to which was a gigantic bonfire, about 8-9 feet high! They had a formal choir in robes & did a gospel-choir type thing with Christmas carols & several different soloists.

On Christmas morning, Tyson was very excited to see that his two biggest (literally!) gifts were from Santa - a coffin guitar case & a fender guitar stool that he'd been looking at in his Musician's Friend catalog. We both thoroughly enjoyed all of our gifts & eachother's company all morning, then went to Denise's house for Christmas dinner with her & her daughter & hubby. We sat around playing spoons & movie trivia games & had a good time.

Now then, let me vent about the screwy things that happened with Seth! So, Tyson went Christmas shopping for me with his Grandma Robbin on Saturday. Seth was coming into town with his girlfriend for a Christmas party at his sister's, so it made sense for Robbin to just take Tyson over to his Aunt's house to meet his dad, then go home with him over on the coast for a few days. When we made these plans, I made it very clear to Seth that I thought enough time had passed that it would be ok for Tyson to meet his girlfriend, but I asked him to sleep with Tyson while he was visiting, since I didn't think it would be appropriate or comfortable for him to see them going to bed or waking up together. He agreed that this would be fine. I also asked, since Seth doesn't have a phone, that Tyson give me a quick call every night to tell me goodnight & just check in so I knew everything was going alright. I didn't hear from Seth until Tuesday, when he called me from the bar next door to his place, to let me know that he didn't know how Tyson was getting home, but thought he'd send him home with his brother (interjection: the ex-con scam artist/theif/druggie/alcoholic/dealer who doesn't like kids & has demonstrated sadistic tendencies all of Seth's life, not to mention stole Seth's identity on three different occasions, which resulted in suspension of his license!). I said HELL NO!! I told him that I couldn't take any time off of work, but if he'd keep Tyson until Friday, that I'd drive up there & get him myself after work (7 hour round trip)! He then had the balls to say that driving one way was the least I could do. That got me really steamed, so I told him that I made Tyson readily available to him & that it was his choice to not call or visit, and that he has to make that effort. I finally got to talk to Tyson the next day, but then Seth called me Friday morning & when I asked him why they hadn't called me the previous night, he said that his mom said she didn't have time to take Tyson to a phone. He then said that he thought it was ridiculous that I wanted him to call every night, anyway, and I told him what was ridiculous is that I'd talked to my son once in six days & that it didn't matter if he thought it was ridiculous; it was what I'd asked, and it wouldn't even be such a big issue if he had a phone & I could reach Tyson in the first place! Anyway, Seth was calling to let me know that I'd need to stop by his sister's place in Medford to pick up some of the presents that Tyson had gotten me, since they forgot some there & told me that he'd called ahead & Traci had reassured him that the bag was right there. I stopped by on my way out of town, but no one was home except for their 10 year old daughter, who knew nothing about the bag of presents. By the time that Tyson & I got back to town that night, it was 10:45, much too late to drop by. So I told Tyson that it was no biggie & I'd just get them after Christmas, since I really didn't want to bug them on Christmas Eve, which was the next day, but he insisted that the majority of what he got me was what got left behind & I had to get them. So I called first thing in the morning & left a message at Traci's, asking to please call me back & let me know when it would be convenient for them for us to stop by & pcik those up. I finally got a call back at 3pm from Traci, acting all put out & imposed upon, saying that she didn't have the presents & knew nothing about them. I told her that Seth had told me he called her to make sure they were there & she said he never called her. Long story short, I still don't have the presents & have no idea what happened to them. What pisses me off most is that Robbin told me he knew exactly where he wanted to go & what he wanted to get me & got some great deals & ended up with exactly 50 cents change. All that time, effort & thought (not to mention my damn money!) and someone takes that away from him.

To make matters worse, Tyson tells me that Seth & his girlfriend got a motel room & he stayed with this aunt that first night, then Seth asked Tyson if it would bother him if he slept with his girlfriend for the duration of his stay, to which Tyson of course said no, he didn't mind - what else could he say?!? As bad as this was, that he'd deliberately disregard what I'd asked him not to do & putting Tyson on the spot, this meant that Tyson had to share a room (used to be his; now belongs to Seth's girlfriend's daughter) with a six year old girl! Tyson said that they were told to take turns sleeping on the floor or the bed, but since she was just a little girl, he gave her the bed every night. Not only is this not ok that he had to give up his bedroom and didn't have a bed to sleep on, it is completely inappropriate for him to be sharing a room with a six year old girl! I am so furious I wouldn't be surprised to see steam coming out of my ears as I type this! So, now how to proceed? I realize that it's not illegal for Seth to sleep with this girlfriend when Tyson's over, but he did directly go against my request & in the interrim, put Tyson in a compromising situation. The correct thing to do would have been for Seth to sleep with Tyson & have Sherry sleep with her daughter, which is what I specifically asked him to do! The thing is, I don't want Tyson to get in trouble for telling me what happened or put Seth in defensive mode, to where he asks Tyson to lie to me & puts him in a bad position, but I don't feel right about not recongizing the fact that nothing went as we'd discussed: I spoke to Tyson once instead of every night. I had to go pick him up myself. Then the sleeping arrangements. So I think I'm going to approach the subject by asking him & telling him that I didn't want to ask Tyson (which I didn't - he brought it up to me), so I'm asking him. Then, if he tries lying to me, I'll call him out on it & say that something Tyson said clued me in on it...I want to strangle him right now!

PHEW!! What a whirlwind it's been since I last posted! I guess it's that slightly frantic time of year for everyone, though, which is probablywhy I haven't had anybody whining that I never blog anymore!

Let's see...I've taken on even more at work (despite my emphatic protests!) and have been doing tons of transcription in Tyson's absence...he's at his dad's until Friday, which is a whole other story that I'm not even sure I have the energy or inclination to write about, but I will say that I finally let him have it a little bit today...I'm all ready for Christmas! All of my cards & presents have been bought & sent, which is a wonderful feeling! Tonight I'll do some baking (during which I intend to drink myself silly & rock out to some loud music to blow off some steam) & tomorrow we do our "Secret Santas" at work. I'm really excited, because I know mine pretty well & burned three CD's in addition to some other stuff (like her favorite cookies that I'll be baking tonight). I did a Parodies CD, an Adam Sandler movie songs & quotes & an 80'2 hair band ballads CD. I think she'll really dig 'em.

Anyway, work is screaming my name again, so all for now...AAAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrgh!!!

So I have big plans to get stuff taken care of this weekend! Other than some things for Tyson, I only have one more present to get. I finally found my address book so I can send out Christmas cards. I'm making some CDs for my Secret Santa at work, so that will be all taken care of, along with the candles I ordered from the candle party.

Tomorrow after church, we are going to Robbin's (Tyson's surrogate G'ma) for a luncheon & white elephant gift exchange. She goes all out & thinks of all the little details, so I'm sure it will be awesome.

I'm reading Mary Higgins Clark's new book "No Place Like Home" to kill some time until I reach the top of the reserve lists for Diana Gabaldon's newest book in the Outlander series, "Snow & Ashes" (I started at #80 & am now down to something like 48) and Dean Koontz's new sequel to "Odd Thomas", "Forever Odd". I love it when my favorite authors come out with new material. It's like reaquanting yourself with an old friend...

I am so disgusted! I know I totally shouldn't be surprised, and really I'm not, but still...

Seth finally called for the first time since Thanksgiving, whining about being sick as his excuse for not calling like he's supposed to on Mondays (or any other frickin' night of the week or weekend, for that matter)! I told him he could tell it to Tyson. First thing Tyson says when he picks up the phone is, "Why haven't you been calling, Dad?" Rest assured I do not point this out & I only talk to Tyson about it if he brings it up, but he has been asking & I just tell him I don't know, because I refuse to make excuses for him. After he talked to Tyson, Seth & I talked so we could go over Christmas details & such, and he informed me that he will be moving in with his new 42-year-old girlfriend, so when Tyson comes to stay a few days over Christmas break, he'll be staying there & have to share his dad's attention, not to mention that he won't have his own room. I insisted that Seth sleep with Tyson while he's there, because as much as Tyson says he wants us to date other people, he hasn't dealt with the reality, and I don't want him to see them going to bed together at night or waking up together in the morning. Why is Seth such a jack-ass? I don't really care if he wants to sleep around (as long as he doesn't expose Tyson to this) but this will be the second woman he's moved in with in the first year (technically six months) since our divorce! Yuck!

The candle party was a smashing success! We did get a late start, since the candle rep was just returning from a trip to Eugene, so the party lasted until 11pm! I can't wait to get the stuff I ordered!

On Sunday, Tyson and I went to church, then out to breakfast at Witham's Truck Stop (that brought back some memories!), where they were having a 40 year anniversary special & had all of their prices lowered to what they were 40 years ago! We're talking $.10 for a cup of coffee! So we ordered a french toast breakfast for each of us, in addition to ham & eggs with hash browns & toast, plus a soda for Ty, a coffee for me, and a pancake, egg & sausage breakfast to take home for Tyson to have this morning, and we paid all of $4.90! We sat at the counter, and we each spoke to some really interesting people. Tyson had two old ladies next to him, one of whom kept teasing him about how yummy his ham looked. When they left, one of them gave Tyson a $5 bill & told him that he was a really nice kid. The guy I sat next to was a truck driver who is one of 20 boys and 3 girls, all by the same father, who died two years ago at age 110! Afterward, we went Christmas shopping at the mall & entered a bunch of contests, then headed home to chill out for the rest of the evening & played a couple of games of chess (I won once, & Tyson won once!) I went to bed with Tyson at 8:30, and I still woke up tired, although I do have a little more energy than I did last week.

BTW, Kathy, I'm sorry I keep missing your calls!

I figured I'd muster up the little energy I have these days for a quick post...

Tyson & I did go to the open mic Thursday night & met my friend, Susan, there. It was a school night, so we didn't stay really long, but did hang out long enough to catch some pretty good performances. We haven't figured out what we're going to do up there yet, but we do plan to go back.

Yesterday, I left work early & went home to sleep. I had to get up to pick Tyson up from school, and we dropped by the university so I could talk to some people about placement tests & just how the whole thing works. I was incredibly discouraged by the answers that I got regarding financial aid. I guess they go by your previous year's tax returns, and on paper my income looks pretty good (not to mention that Seth & I both worked & filed together last year). They don't take into account the fact that I would only be working part-time if I were to enroll as a full-time student. I'm not sure what to do from here...

I just couldn't bring myself to go be an extra for the movie today, as much as I have always wanted to do something like that. Instead, I got up with Tyson & made my weekend breakfast of eggs & fried potatoes, cleaned house & did some laundry, then came into town to put in some hours at the Women's Clinic. I'm going to have a candle party tonight at my apartment. It will be a very small, intimate group, consisting of (I think): Twyla & Krista & Susan, Misty & Lisa from work. It will be nice to have some company over for a change, and the candles always make your house smell great! When I socialize, I usually go somewhere, but I do like playing hostess. Tomorrow we'll go out to church, then go Christmas shopping. Anyway, there's the latest. I'll slowly,but surely, be posting more as I rejoin the land of the living...

I'm ba-aaaack.....
Sorry I haven't posted in so long (or written to any of you, for that matter! It's really not personal)! I have been totally exhausted since my trip to Eureka.
Thanksgiving was not restful, but definitely enjoyable! I got to spend some quality time with my dad and my niece, Mary, and very little time with my brothers & my mom. We managed to pull off the "First-ever Adams Family Thanksgiving Breakfast" & had all the fixings ready to go by 11:00, which my dad thought would be impossible. My sister, Kathy, called from AZ, where she was having to deal with her monster-in-law being a total snob about her Thanksgiving plans to eat at the local buffet restaurant, even though they're living in a camper until their house is built. I know she really wanted to be with us, and I really wanted her there, too...she stayed on the phone for quite a while, though, and was passed around so she could "visit" with everyone. It seemed a little quiet this year. The only "kids" there were John, Mary & Joey (and they're 18, 16 and 12, or something like that). I really enjoyed seeing everyone, though, and my dad & I went to see Walk the Line on Friday. The theater was so packed that we weren't able to sit together, but we both thought it was one of the best movies we'd ever seen. I'm planning to take Tyson to watch it, too. On Thursday night, after my sister Laura got off work, we jammed out down in the basement with her husband, Mark, who plays the electric bass, and Mary. Unbeknownst to Laura and myself, Mark had set up a recording device before he & Mary had gone upstairs, and of course, at this point, Laura and I were getting a little goofy & making up our own words and such. I haven't heard it yet, and I'm not sure I really want to...Over at my brother Carey's (aka Allen), I video-taped him and my dad singing & playing guitar in his "studio" in the back room. I'm so glad that I finally got them on tape! Tyson said Uncle Allen should be famous & that Grandpa Charlie is "really good for an old guy". (LOL!)

When I showed up to pick Tyson up on Saturday, Seth & his mom were just pulling out of the driveway to head to Gold Beach. It was really good to see Tyson again. Time away from eachother always makes us appreciate how special our relationship is. Seth was supposed to call on Monday, but didn't again, and I think Tyson is really starting to get angry with him, which sucks, because just as my mom had said, he then starts to feel guilty about being angry with his dad. When (and if) Seth calls again, I'm going to tell him what I think of him not calling. I won't include Tyson's feelings in the conversation, but I can tell him what I feel, that's for sure! I just don't see how anyone could turn away from Tyson after knowing what a great kid he is! He just got an award at school yesterday for his sense of humor. Tonight we're planning to go to an all-ages open mic at A St. Marketplace and tomorrow we might end up going to the kids' night at the church, then on Saturday I'm supposed to be an extra in a movie they're making here, Conversations With God. We'll see how many of those things we actually do... Well, they're watching us like a hawk here at work, so I'd better end this for now. I just can't bring myself to post from home these days - I've been so wiped out! Eventually I'll catch up, though, and email all of you that I've been neglecting!

I have to share a funny from this morning: Seth called to talk about the plans for Thanksgiving, and he finished one of his sentences with "Babe". I said, "Did you just call me Babe? You can't call me that anymore!" We both had a good chuckle over that. Anyway, here's my Top 10 on Tuesday:

10 Things You Like Eating at Thanksgiving Dinner
1) Well, turkey, of course! (White meat only)
2) Olives (one for each finger)
3) Mashed potatoes and gravy (no giblet gravy, Mom, pleeeeaase!)
4) Pumkin pie w/ whip cream
5) My dad's banana pudding with Nilla wafers
6) Apple pie (preferably Dutch apple)
7) Fruit salad with mini marshmallows - no walnuts!
8) Ham
9) Deviled eggs
10) Hmmm...other miscellaneous pies?

I've been shirking my duties as a responsible journalist for a whole week, so I suppose it's time to bite the bullet & do the whole "this is what I've been doing" thing...

So, this is what I've been doing:
Monday: All I remember now is watching Prison Break (I just can't get enough!) Oh - I also went to the music store & picked up a guitar string for Tyson's electric guitar & learned how to string it. Got invited to an open mic on Thursday by a guy who works there.
Tuesday: Worked & probably did transcription like the mad woman I've become. Also went to Applebee's for kids' $.99 night; a tad disappointing. Traded in Ty's old Nintendo for a Gamecube game.
Wednesday: More work, more transcription...
Thursday: Tyson wanted to skip the open mic & stay home to play his video game. More work...after watching Reunion, of course!
Friday: After work, Ty & I went back to the music store & played with different instruments (including an electric upright bass, that I'd love to get him, instead of the big old thing he has to lug around). The guy from the store said he was waiting for me to show up Thurusday at the open mic, but I told him he lost out to video games, which he in turn called "The Devil's Box". Rented two movies & fell asleep before the first one even started.
Saturday: Had some friends of Tyson's over & went to see Sophie's play with Susan. She was incredible! I'll be able to say "I knew her when..." Rented Stealth & bought Dodgeball (My Vinnie-baby!!! XOXO)& watched both.
Sunday: Went to the 11:00 church service & the Thanksgiving potluck afterward, then went across the street to see Harry Potter "The Goblet of Fire". Awesome movie! (Very looooooooonng, though.)
Then I got up this morning to do it all again! Actually, this will be a very short week. I get off 1/2 day on Wednesday & am going to lunch with a new co-worker at Senor Sam's, then to pick up Tyson from school. I just got a message from Seth this afternoon (WHY can't he call when he is supposed to?!?) that the plans have changed again & that his mom will be working until 3pm, then leaving to go pick him up in Gold Beach (WHY can't he get his license?!?), where they will stay the night before traveling back here for Thanksgiving. This means that now, even though I took a 1/2 day off of work, I can't leave until after 3pm to drive the 5 hours to Eureka! Grrrr....On the up-side, I picked up two new karoake CD's last night for the trip. One with old country hits, including "The Gambler", "Elvira", "On the Road Again", "Crazy", & two Johnny Cash songs. The other has all kinds of music on it & should have something for everyone. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone.

Well, I suppose I should free up the phone line on the highly unlikely chance that Seth is going to call back at the scheduled time...

At long last, here are the Halloween pics! I have to say I'm a little disappointed because you really can't see the detail that I added to my dress (by hand-sewing, nonetheless!) or make out my head-piece, but still, you get the point. I've also thrown in a picture of our spastic kitty, Domino, since I promised that in August, when we first got him!

Been super busy working (transcription) and haven't had much time for anything else. So, as much as the men have been pestering me with phone calls, flowers and such, I've been having to decline their many offers...We did manage to go to church Sunday, which makes two weeks in a row! Tyson just about flipped when one of the band members started totally wailing on the electric guitar & people were bouncing up & down like a mosh pit (without the moshing). Next week there will be a potluck afterward. I'm looking into becoming involved in the children's Christmas performance, but there's a 4 hour class I have to take first, and it's on the same day as my friend Susan's daughter, Sophie, is performing the lead in a play here in Ashland, so I think I'm going to see if they offer the class another time. I don't get to do a lot with Susan outside of work, and I adore Sophie! Anyway, that's the latest...still looking forward to Turkey Day in Eureka!

My docs have been absolutely killing me with transcription! I've gotten pretty good with these guys, because I do their stuff consistently and they use a lot of the same wordage for different patients, but one tape actually took me 2 1/2 hours last night, and since I just had to watch My Name is Earl, that meant I didn't get to bed until 12:15! (Considering that a letter on one patient usually takes me 5-10 minutes, that's a lot of dictating!) It sure will be nice to get paid, though...

I've been having a lot of fun flirting with the delivery guy at work (and the cutie pie at Dutch Bros., and one of our sales reps....) and one of the ladies at the front desk asked him if he found me attractive, and he supposedly said yes (woo-hoo! I think he's pretty normal, too!), but that he's waiting for a girl that he loves to come around. I told him that works out even better, since I'm holding out for my Mr. R., too, so maybe we could be friends who do things together to kill the time while we wait...hey, it might actually work better than dating, since that's not something I really look forward to trying...anyway, we'll see if he takes me up on it. I took a pic of him yesterday, since I'm trying to use up my roll of film with the Halloween pics so I can post them!

Looks like Dad's and my Hometown Buffet Thanksgiving fantasy has been thwarted...I do love the family get-togethers, though, and it's been a while since I was in Eureka. I think I'll bring my karoake machine so we can all jam. It just won't be the same without Kathy there, though (no offense, Laura, I'd just love it if we could all be there)! I'm sure I'll be posting more on that before too long.

Still planning to go to church Sunday & am looking forward to getting to know more people there, so I'll be more comfortable. Krista says they're always looking for musicians, and that would be really awesome. I just feel like it's so important to not only talk to Tyson about God & the Bible, but to expose him to worshipping with others before he gets too much older. He asked me on the way back from church last weekend if I was going to be all religious now, and I replied that I've always been a very religious person, but he just didn't see that side of me a lot, and that I'd still be my same fun self. My beautiful friend, Mahvelous Mahge, taught me that you can talk nasty & have a good time, but still have a close relationship with God. I figure He knows me better than anyone else, so if I tried to hide my true self, that would be pretty pointless.

Well, I'm gonna try to actually get to sleep at a decent time since I'm all done with my transcription for tonight, so signing off until next time...

Quick post - I can't believe it's almost midnight! I had three transcription tapes tonight, and I decided to leave one for tomorrow, after seeing how far into the tape the doc recorded...ugh! But, hey, it's all about the money, right?!? What doesn't kill me makes me more tired...

Anyway, I just had to brag on my boy for a sec - what else is new? I'm just so proud of him! He got 98% on his state report! (Missed one thing in the whole report, just because he forgot to fill in the population of the tops 5 cities.) He also got 100% on his spelling test, now that we're able to study the words, and he got an A- on his "What I Did This Summer" report. I know this year has been tough on him, because he's in the 4th/5th blended class, but he's really rising to the challenge & making his mama proud! And he's made friends with a lot of the 5th graders that he used to not get along with! I could just burst, really!

A Medford Cowboys' running back looks for a hole to run through as Ashland Bears, from left, Jared Cataldi, Jamie Flynn and Tyson Morris converge.(Tyson's #42.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Football season is over - we went to the season-end party last night & got trophies & that kind of thing. I'm totally leaving it up to Tyson if he wants to do it again next year - he felt a little overlooked this season, but he was a 9-year-old playing with 10,11 and 12 year-olds.

Went to church this morning out in White City with Krista & Dustin. It's the second time I've gone there, but Tyson's first. He really liked the music & was very responsive to the sermon. I'm planning to keep going every weekend now that we don't have football every Sunday.

I'm going to look into talking to the admissions office at SOU. It's something I've been putting off forever, and as crazy as my life is, I think I really need some intellectual stimulation - something to bring me outside of myself & to help me quit reflecting on how pitiful my love life is & something outside of Tyson, as much as I love doing things with & for him. So, we'll see where that goes, anyway. Nothing else to report, so I'm going to get some work done at Lithia Women's Care. Hopefully I'll be posting Halloween pics soon...

Alas, the time has come for the infamous posting of the "Mr. Wrong" list. Let it be known that I have taken the research for this blog post very seriously & spent basically the last 29 years of my life compliling this list...

Mr. Wrong...
...has no sense of humor
...doesn't believe in God
...believes the only way to show affection is gettin' freaky
...is insecure
...hates kids, animals & old people
...wants to control the way I look, eat, speak, dress, act & think
...doesn't like my friends & family, and they return the sentiment
...is not bright
...is a gorgeous, but vain, man-whore (yep, that one broke my heart the first time)
...hates road trips
...can't hold down a job
...gambles, is a pot-head, or is otherwise addicted
...doesn't like music
...is a liar and a smooth talker
...is city boy
...doesn't like to play sports
...isn't a gentelman and doesn't have manners
...doesn't keep his word
...expects my life to revolve around him & his plans (or lack thereof)
...is a pushover & doesn't speak his mind
...feels like the world owes him something

Ok, you asked for it! I just happened to post this on one of my pissy days. You see, people think I'm totally nuts for wanting to hold out for a guy that's unavailable & who probably doesn't reciprocate my feelings. And, although I'fve always prided myself on not listening to eveyone else, look where that got me last time! Maybe it's time I listen to the people who care about me, because they can see things more clearly than I can. But what are my options in the meantime? The freaky 60+ year old tamale guy? The 60+ year old tennis stalker? The ??+ Vietnam Vet with PTSD? Or better yet, the icky car salesman (again 50-60+)? I mean, it's not like I'm really getting asked out by any prospects I'd actually consider; why not at least convince myself it's ok, because I'm holding out for the best? But, I've been thinking about "fate" or "destiny" and "soul mates". And I think I'm probably the only person I know who actually believes these things exist. And maybe I'm the one who's wrong. It's just that I have settled too many times & for too long to accept anything less anymore. So I guess it's just me, my kid and my cat. I should probably get like 40 more cats so it'll be official. Anyway, I have to go finish watching Reunion so I can live vicariously through others, who hopefully have a Hollywood ending...

I'm back on the wagon again - abstaining from men, that is...something came up that has convinced me that I should go with my gut & hold out for the man that I really wanted from the start (no, we will not name names or discuss the circumstances).

If I am patient (yeah, I know, nearly impossible for me, but he's worth it!), eventually the same force that keeps almost bringing us together will deliver him to me, and I want to be available this time when the opportunity presents itself! In the meantime, I'm saving myself from being hurt & disappointed by meaningless relationships that don't measure up to my idea of what our future could be together. I just don't see how that could be a bad thing. The only down-side to holding onto this dream of the two of us being soul-mates & living happily ever after is that, for now, he's completely unaccessible, and that makes me really sad. But, if it really is meant to be (which is what I believe in my heart), then he will seek me out when he's ready. I've made it very easy for him to find me, so from here on out, that's all I can really do. Who knows, maybe he doesn't even want to be in touch with me, or maybe he only sees me as a friend. I'm willing to wait & see...

Ok, enough romantic daydreaming...quick update on la vida loca: Tyson & I were up till 9:30 last night completing his state report that was due today. Thank goodness that's over with! I think he'll get a really good grade on it, though. He brought home a bunch of school work yesterday, and he's been doing more extra credit & getting straight A's except for the last couple of spelling tests, which he wasn't able to study for because he kept forgetting to being the lists home. Now that I can get the list online, we've been studying & I have no doubt that he'll get 100% from here on out. Last night after football practice, we stopped by Seth's dad's for a few minutes (first time since the divorce & actually a while before that even), because Phil had to put his 15 year old Golden Retriever, Buddy, to sleep. Buddy was totally a family member (one of the few I really got along with)! He would hug & howl "I love you" on command, as well as every other trick in the book. Rest in peace, Buddy. Tyson's playoff game against the Crater Comets is this Sunday. If we win, we move on, and if not, the season's over. He wants to do basketball, and I want him to have the opportunity to try, but dangit, I'm ready for a break, and I think he needs one too! I'll probably put in a couple hours at Lithia Women's Care this weekend & carve some pumpkins, but other than that & football, I'm going to relax as much as possible! Can't wait for Halloween - I'll post pics of me & Tyson in costume afterward.

Today I was feeling a tad frazzled, especially once Tyson called me (15 minutes before football practice) at work to tell me that he forgot his practice pants & cleats at school & coach was totally gonna kill him. (He ended up having to run around the goal posts 11 times, up & down the length of the field.) Last night he told me that he brought home extra credit so that he could make up for the homework assignments that he hasn't gotten! Uh, hellooooooo...? So we've been busting our chops to make sure that he studies for his spelling (thank goodness his teacher finally posted them online for us, since he'd forgotten the list three weeks in a row & had to take the tests cold-turkey!), practices his bass, does research & writes his state report (due two days from tomorrow!) that is 25 pages long, and reads for a minimum of 1/2 an hour for a book report that's due on the 4th. All this and football practice three times a week for two hours at a time! Yikes! I told him when I picked him up from practice today (BTW, I called his teacher & arranged to pick up the gear, then drove it to practice for him, across town, before coming home to do three transcription tapes before I picked him up at 6:30) that, no, we didn't have time for a movie, or dinner for that matter...Yes, I was joking - being the extremely awesome multi-tasking mother that I strive to be, I prepared a nice meal of salmon, mashed potatoes & green beans while he was in the tub. Just as I was writing this, I realized that I never ate - oops!

Seth didn't call like he was supposed to last night (we've arranged an 8:00 call on Mondays so we can guarantee we'll touch base - he still hasn't gotten a freakin' phone!). We still didn't hear from him again tonight, although I didn't mention that to Tyson, of course. I need to talk to him so we can figure out what the plan is for Thanksgiving, although, knowing him, he'll bail at the last minute, which would be fine with me if it weren't for Tyson's disappointment. More time with the greatest kid in the world for me!

I found myself sending up a little prayer this evening on the way home from practice that was like something out of Fiddler on the Roof: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...for Yentil, make him a scholar, for Mama, make him rich as a king, for me, well, I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything..." Except for mine went, "Ok, Lord, I think I'm ready for my the perfect man for me & Tyson to come along, and could you please make him rich so I don't have to struggle quite so hard anymore?" (I know, not quite as catchy, huh?)Not to indulge completely in self-pity, but I feel like I've done without, been through enough bad relationships & generally gone through enough crap to have built some character. Enough character, already, done with that & ready to reap the rewards now, thank you very much...Ok, somebody call the waaaaaaaambulance....

Soooo glad to be starting a new week! Last week completely sucked & I was dragging from having a cold, which carried over into the weekend. Ty & I folded out the futon & watched movies Friday & Saturday nights.

Yesterday, Tyson had his last football game of the season against the only team we've lost to in the last two years. As it turns out, his cousin (on his dad's side) was on the opposing team, literally facing him on the line, so it was all that much better when we beat 'em! This means that we'll be facing the Crater Comets in the top lineup of the playoffs, and they're the only team that we lost to this year. Let's hope the boys see it as an opportunity to even things up, rather than let that intimidate them. Since I had to drop Tyson off 1 1/4 hours early for the game in Eagle Point, I drove over to Krista & Dustin's to say hi. Their whole family had the flu except Dustin, since he's been working out of town again, but guess what?!? Our prayers were answered, and he has passed his test to become an independent plumbing contractor, so he can do whatever he wants now! I'm really happy for them; it couldn't happen to better people! After the game, Tyson went to visit with his friend, Luc, who had a birthday party that Tyson had to miss because of football. When I dropped him off, Lily's dad was there dropping her off. We'd met before & played tennis with his girls against me & Tyson & had a great time. But, wouldn't you know it, single dad up & got remarried, of course! Oh well.....

Fell asleep during the movie last night, slept in till 8:30, read until 12:30 (with a break to make Tyson breakfast) & took a nap until 4pm. Woke up feeling a lot better! I really wanted to go for a bike ride; it was such a beautiful day, but let Tyson talk me into going out to eat. We were going to see a movie, but there's just nothing that looked good to either of us, so we went to Cold Stone Creamery (dang, that's some good ice cream!) & came home.

I finally get the book shelf painted for Tyson's room & did a couple of transcription tapes tonight. It is truly amazing that this mundane life of mine can seem so hectic at times...

Well, it's been almost a whole week since my last post, so I figured I owe it to my (growing) audience to continue to chronicle the life & times of me...

Let's see, as y'all know, I left for Portland after Tyson's game on Saturday (which they lost by a touchdown & an extra point, bringing our boys their first loss & making their record 5-1 now. Coach & I both agree that one loss is good for character, but that we can't get any more...). I didn't get up there until 6:30, then managed to be in the wrong lane at a critical point in the directions once I got into town & was completely lost! I finally did the female thing & asked for directions, arriving at Sarah's mom's place at 7pm. Sarah came running out to greet me, with Isabella in her arms. Isabella is just over a year old now & kept saying my name over & over. I thought it was really sweet that Sarah had taught her to say it. Ethan just turned four & remembered me from my visit last summer. These are some cute kids! They're also very smart! Everyone was surprised at how quickly Isabella took to me, which made me feel super special, of course!

The plan was to go to the Tavern around the corner & hang out. I told Sarah that if I could only see her one night in a year, I planned to stay up & hang out all night! Well...we had a few drinks & I'm just not the partier I used to be. I was puking by 12:30. So much for my all-nighter! Sarah, of course, was busy taking pictures of me the whole time! I finally passsed out & was woken up by Isabella the next morning. She was sitting up in the dark babbling and playing. She came over & crawled into bed with me & showed me her "bracelet" (a jar ring). It's a good thing she woke me up, because Sarah had forgotten to set her alarm for the walk!

I got up & was getting ready, and Sarah told me that no one would think any less of me if I didn't go to the walk, so I didn't go. Hah! Gotcha! I just smiled & said that I knew that, while thinking to myself that I wasn't doing this for anyone else but Shannon. I got to the World Trade Center (on time!), where the walk began & got registered & had some coffee. I just kinda sat there by myself until the speakers did their announcements & we began the walk. I felt a little silly, but I picked up a sign to carry around advertising a website for suicide prevention. A young woman & her mom struck up a conversation with me & asked me who I was walking in memory of, so I told them my story & they shared theirs with me. This girl had lost her dad & a close friend within 3 weeks of eachother. Her mom explained that this was her ex-husband and she'd lost a lot of friends over the fact that they didn't feel like she should be mourning him...What is that all about? What struck me the most, I think, is that this girl had tears in her eyes & had a hard time keeping it together when she told me about her dad & friend, yet it had been three years. I guess it never goes away altogether, does it? Anyway, the walk was over before we knew it, and when we came back, we all got to light a candle in memory of the loved ones we'd lost to suicide & I lit mine & sent up a "Happy Birthday!" to Shannon. After that, I went back & visited with Sarah & her mom & brother some more before I had to come home to get Tyson & start our week.

I would go into how the week's been, but I'll save it for my next post, since this one turned out so dang long...I do want to give a shout out to my dear ol' dad, whose birthday is today! Love you, Dad! Also, happy belated birthday to my beautiful neice, Careyanna (15), my dear friend, Denise (we won't go there), one of my three favorite brothers, Joe (the big 4-0! Impossible!), and to Randy, my bro-in-law that I just wrote about last week & who happens to share Shannon's birthday! One more birthday coming up....Yep, you, Laura! Happy Halloween, ya witch! Love you!

What have they done with all my new shows?!?

In the past, I never have been a big TV addict, but I decided that some of the new shows looked good & I should check 'em out at the beginning of the season, so I got hooked on a few:

Prison Break, Head Cases and Reunion (and most recently, My Name is Earl).

So, I tune in Monday at 9 pm., telling Tyson that I have transcription to do, so I have to cut the snuggling time short. Much to my dismay, it wasn't on! The stupid TV guide said it was, and even the interet said so, but they were lying! Oh, and this is after finding out that Head Cases was cancelled after two stinking episodes! I mean, really, the show had potential, and how would you know after two episodes if it was going to be sucessful or not? On Tuesday, I kept looking for My Name is Earl on Fox and didn't realize until it was over that it's actually on NBC. So, tonight's Thursday...I tell Tyson that he really needs to get some reading time in & that I have to watch Reunion. To my surprise and delight, he was cooperative, so I settle in to watch my show, and...yep! You guessed it! They didn't air it! What is going on here? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something! (Oh, wait...they cancelled that show, too...)

On a side note, a couple of exciting things: Misty, an old friend from another lifetime (ok, like high school) has tracked me down & we've been in touch. (Hi, Misty!) Also, I stumbled onto a blog that intrigued me and ended up making an internet buddy that is going through a hard time right now, and hopefully I can help him out a little by being a friend from afar. (Hi, Mike!) Also, I talked to Krista tonight, and her awesome hubby, Dustin, will be taking a test on Saturday so he will be able to be an independent sub-contracting plumber, which will allow him to work in town & live at home, rather than traveling out of town for work during the week & showing up on the weekends. I'm really looking forward to this weekend with Sarah & doing the walk for Shannon.

So, any of you who know me know that I believe in the power of prayer, and would like to ask that you say a little prayer for Misty for will-power, for Mike for patience and peace, for Dustin for his exciting new future, for my friends Twyla & Gary, that they'll get more sleep & appreciate eachother more, for my friend Denise, that her husband will woo her this weekend, and for my brother-in-law, Randy, whom I love dearly because he's so good to my big sis. He recently fell while working on the new house in Arizona and had a pretty serious head injury.

And, really, I'll try to quit being so dang sappy in my next blog entry! I just don't know what's gotten into me lately!

Well, per Twyla's petulant request for my light banter (just one of many facets of my incredibly enigmatic personality), here's my Top 10 on Tuesday:

10 Best Presents You've Received
(As always, in no particular order)

1. My son was born 5 days after my birthday. Does he count?
2. My surprise birthday party in 8th grade. My mom had Shannon & Sarah invite all our friends from school (including boys, woo-hoo!) and we had a sleep-over.
3. My pony, J.R. My mom did a whole scavenger hunt thing starting with a card on the Christmas tree & ending in the barn, with a big red bow wrapped around his neck.
4. My karaoke machine. (Ironically enough, from my ex-husband last Christmas, after we split up, but I was still living there until my place became available.)
5. A keyboard & a stand. (We were always broke when I was growing up, so when I got something this huge, it made me feel even more grateful!)
6. A Hawaiian ginger bath & body set from Shannon. It was the last thing she gave me, and she said that she knew how much I liked hers & that my mom had taught us to give someone something you'd want for yourself.
7. A really soft stuffed kitty on a heart pillow that said "I love you" from my boyfriend, Cris, in 8th grade. (I've been racking my brain, and other than that & the gifts I got on holidays from Seth, I don't think I've ever gotten presents from a boyfriend!)
8. A sepia-type picture of a daisy in a field that I have hanging in my living room from my sister, Kathy. I spotted it when we were shopping together & she snuck back & bought it for me without me knowing.
9. My friend, Denise, always gives little gifts, like Mary Kay (since she's a rep) and one time, a haircut & color, which is how I met my current hairdresser that I love so much!
10. Other gifts from friends: the blue glass hurricane lantern candleholder & cream & taupe candle platters from Twyla & the beautiful mirrored crystal candleholder from Marge for my wedding. Tyson's grandma, Robbin, has also given me so many wonderful gifts I can't begin to list them all. She's incredibly generous & has impeccible taste (and she doesn't even read my blog, so I'm not kissing up to get more - it's just the truth)! Also, I can't end this without mentioning that my big sister, Laura, always gave me birthday & Christmas presents when I was growing up, wherever she lived. She'd mail them with stickers all over the box - and still does, as a matter of fact! She just borrowed my wedding dress & when she mailed it back to me, included a really cute memo pad with an angel on the cover. She's always been thoughtful that way. (She does read this blog...hee hee!)

For those of you who don't already know, my best friend, Shannon Rose, killed herself a year ago last April 10th, at age 27.

She & I met on the new student orientation day for Riley Creek Elementary, where I would be attending 7th grade the following year. She invited me & my other best friend, Sarah, to sit with her at lunch.

With any friendship that lasts from the age of 12 and well into adulthood, we knew eachother's deepest, darkest secrets, raised our kids together, and just had one of those once-in-a-lifetime bonds, where you can be completely honest with the other person and know that you won't hurt the other's feelings, because everything comes from a place of love, and both of you know that. Of course we didn't agree on absolutely everything, but we had a mutual respect & could acknowledge our differences without arguing over them.

When we were in 8th grade, she had a crush on a 7th grader & I encouraged her to go out with him, hold hands, etc. Little did either of us know that this would be her future husband and father of her three children, the first being born our senior year in high school.

After the birth of her second child (and a good ten years into her relationship), Shannon strayed outside of her marriage and got involved way beyond her control with a likewise married man. After a couple of years had passed, I finally told her flat out that I couldn't support what she was doing & warned her that she could lose everything - her family, her husband, her kids, her reputation...her sanity. It takes a lot out of a person to lead a double life, not to mention that she was going through nursing school (a lifelong dream of hers) and holding down a solid 4.0 GPA. I knew it couldn't last forever. There finally was a turning point in our friendship where I couldn't be supportive or just look the other way.

Close to a year passed by, during which time, the truth came out about the affair, Shannon got pregnant with her ex-husband's third child (finally, the girl she'd wanted for years!) and went into a mental institution twice for a bipolar disorder.

I finally got a call from Shannon one day, telling me that she had given birth to her baby girl just weeks before, and asking if she could have Tyson come visit with her over spring break. (Tyson and her son, Kyle, were best friends, too.) I know that it might seem crazy to some that I would allow Tyson to stay with her, but I knew that if I could trust anyone on this earth to treat Tyson well and take good care of him, it would be her. She adored him so much & thought the world of him. During the phone call, I tried to explain to her why I'd put so much distance between us, and she wouldn't hear of it. She said that she completely understood and that I had been right. I drove Tyson up to Gold Beach to drop him off & ended up staying the night with them, during which time she filled me in on her custody case and how lonely she was. We talked a lot, and even laughed a little. I'll never forget when she said that I should feel special, because she hadn't laughed in a really long time. I came back home, and she drove Tyson back at the end of the week and stayed the night with us. She slept almost the whole visit, which I attributed to having a newborn and to being depressed over not having her boys with her. When she hugged me goodbye, I didn't know that it would be the last time, or I would've held on tight & not let go! The one thing she chose not to talk to me about...

Anyway, the reason that I wanted to share all of this is that I'm going to visit with Sarah (the aforementioned other best friend from 6th grade) when she comes to see her mom in Portland on October 15th. I plan to just drive up Saturday & come back Sunday, so that Tyson can just stay the night with a friend. As I made these plans, it had occured to me that Shannon's birthday was October 16th. At work, I subscribe to the Oregon Dept. of Human Resources online, and yesterday I received a notice that there would be a Suicide Prevention/Awareness walk in Portland on October 16th, when I just happen to be there! I get chills just thinking about it & I'm definitely doing the walk!

I got this off my sister, Kathy's, blog to share. Feel free to send your own answers back!

1. are you good at drawing or painting?
I enjoy sketching, but I can't say I'm actually good at it. I completely suck at painting!

2. have you ever, or do you currently, write poetry?
I have & I sometimes still do. When I moved out on my own, I had every song, poem, story, you name it, that I'd ever written, but it all got damaged in a major rain storm when I was sorting the boxes. I vowed when I got my divorce that I'd start writing & doing more with my music again, but the time and motivation just haven't been there as I'd expected...

3. have you ever, or do you currently, write short stories?
The only short stories I ever wrote were for English class. I love creative writing & would love to be at least a one-time novelist, but I really have no imagination!

4. what musical instrument(s) do you - or did you - play?
Clarinet, electric bass & a little acoustic guitar. Also love to sing & am self-taught (meaning not-great!) at piano.

5. creativity is apparent in many ways ... decorating, drawing/painting, voice, sculpture, screen/playwriting, etc. do you consider yourself a creative person? why or why not?
Definitely! Creative can mean lots of things...

6. if you could be bestowed one creative and talented gift, what would it be, and why?
I'd love to be able to play the guitar well! It's a portable instrument that you can take anywhere for vocal accompaniment & livens up any party! I'd also like to be a better songwriter.

7. my uncle, grandmother, and daughter are artists and can paint/draw fabulously. i'm the opposite - my stick figures are uneven! who received the artisitic talent in your family?
I didn't know Grandma could draw/paint! Anyway, that would be Christine, my mom, my Aunt Linda and Uncle Gene. I know my niece, Carey-Anna, is also quite talented, but I think she & her big sis, Tara, got that from their mom...

8. i have a few artist friends who are quite happy with their ramen soup noodles, low credit scores, and crappy apartments while they wait for their "big break." do you think it is more important to follow your dream and live meagerly, OR do you think it is more important to live comfortably and plan for your future while you follow your dream on the side?
I have to agree with Kathy's opinion: if it's just you, go all out (reasonably)! But if you have kids & a family that depends on you for support, temper your enthusiasm with practicality. Unfortunately, I think sometimes that I'll never get what I really want for myself because I put others first, but I'm sure I'm wrong & that my day will come. I only have 9 more years to raise my son, but the rest of my life to pursue my own selfish dreams!

I've got a serious case of the Mondays! Mondays at work always suck, especially when I have payroll first thing, but add to that the reports due on the first day of the month, and you have a recipe for disaster!

I could go on, but I think I'd better quit giving work any more of my blogging energy.

Ty's 4th football game was Saturday, and our boys got scored on for the 1st time this season, but still managed to win (sorry - can't remember the final score...) & secure a place in the championship playoffs. After the game, Tyson & I went over to his teammate's house & watched "Little Giants" with him & his mom, then went home & vegged until bedtime.

On Sunday, we invited another little buddy to go to the Harvest Fair in Central Point with us. It would've been a whole lot more fun if it hadn't rained the whole time, but we still enjoyed it. Last night, Dad finally managed to get through to me when I was home & offline, so we caught up a little bit & made plans for Thanksgiving, since Tyson will be with his dad. If we don't get an invite somewhere, it's Hometown Buffet for us! I told Dad that would be fine with me; then we wouldn't even have to clean up! I also talked to Sarah, who will be in Portland from the 5th - 17th, so I'm going to try & go stay the night with her on the 15th & come back the next day. I haven't seen her & the kids since last September, when I flew down to San Diego for a few days.

Well, my reports are finally finished printing, so I have to get them all organized for the big wigs. Happy flippin' Monday to all...

I'm a little bummed - I wrote a post yesterday & it somehow got lost/deleted before I could publish it! Not like it was big news or anything; just filling in the details of my weekend.

Friday, Ty & I went to see Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. I snuck in candy, as always, & Tyson was extremely paraniod, saying that it was fine with him if I snuck it in, but he wanted no part of it, since there would be a man in a suit walking around looking for people who sneak in candy. He was really freaking out when the usher came up the aisle toward us to help someone else find a seat. He was sure I'd be taken away in handcuffs! Anyway, the movie was a nice surprise to both of us. The animation was really cool, of course, and the musical numbers were fun.

On Saturday, we went to Krista & Dustin's for dessert & Krista & I took a drive out to Sams Valley, then came back to the house & went through some old pictures. As always, a great visit with great friends...

Sunday, Tyson had a football game, which we won again...this is game three, still undefeated, still not scored on! If the boys go to State (which I'm pretty sure they will; they've finished in 1st place both of the years Tyson played previously), they will get to play at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, where the Ducks play.

In other big news, Tyson will be playing the acoustic half bass for 5th grade orchestra! He's totally jazzed about it, and he ordinarily wouldn't be eligible for orchestra until next year, but he is this year because he was placed in the 4th/5th blended class.

All for now...stay tuned for the next post...

I'm starting to feel discouraged again in the dating area. Yes, I enjoy being single. I love the independence & I love being able to check out any hotties I want to without feeling guilty! I also love knowing that, by being single, I'm not settling for any less in a relationship than I desire and am entitled to.

That being said, I'd just like to be asked out by a cute guy (not one of the circus freaks - they don't count!) and to go out on a real date! I know that I need to stop being frustrated & let God decide when the timing's right & send him to me, but dangit, it just seems like that's never going to happen!

Tyson doesn't help matters. We saw a guy in a jeep who was really cute & wearing a flannel shirt (on the right guy, that's sexy!), who was rocking out with his music, and Tyson said, "See Mom, we need to get one of those!" He's always pointing out guys that seem nice, but unfortunately, these guys don't seem to notice me, or if they do, they aren't liking what they see.

I mean, I realize that I'm not a stunningly beautiful or typically good-looking female, but if I were a guy, I'd totally want to date me! I'm funny, smart, a good friend, a great mom, secure in who I am, loyal, impulsive but responsible & a genuinely nice person. What's not to like?

Speaking of cats, by the way, Tyson & I got one on Sunday! His name's Domino, he's (obviously) black and white, with long hair, somewhere around a year old, and as sweet as can be! It was really important to us that we get a cat that would snuggle with Tyson & let him love on it, since the last cat he had was aptly named Scratcher, and wouldn't let him near her. Last night, Tyson draped Domino over his back and around his neck like a scarf & walked around with him without even having to hold on - the goofy cat was just hanging there, purring. I'll add pictures to this post once I get around to it.

That's my big, exciting news for the day, week, month, etc. Yippee!! (Sorry, every once in a while, I get a little bored with the monotony of work, school, football practice, dinner, work, bed, sleep and more work, etc.)

This is me at work the last two days. Every other month, without fail, I get irate patients who insist on telling me that I've done something wrong & treat me like I'm stupid. This happens to be the odd month, which I have officially termed "@$$-hole month"!

Had to comment here on the fact that I haven't received one single comment on the 10 greatest love songs! I mean, come on - with all the musicians in our family, what is up with that? And, Mom: if you won't start your own blog, the least you can do is post your answers to my questions!

Ok, enough berating for tonight; I'm off to bed.

I found this on the Friday Five & thought it would be interesting. Don't forget to post a comment with your answers!!!


Who was your first best friend? Eric.
Who have been some of the most influential people in your life? My mom, my sisters, and I suppose my friends Sarah & Shannon, since we were BF's since 6th grade, but I'm not all that easily influenced. (For those of you who don't already know this, I'm just a little stubborn.)
Do you usually have one best friend or a lot of close friends? I've always had several best friends, but all separately. I've always thought it would be very interesting to see all of my best friends at one party & see how they all relate to eachother. I have cool, young friends, nerdy friends, musician friends, and mostly older women that I've met through work & connected with that are spiritual, but fun & sassy.
Do you believe people of the opposite sex can be best friends and not lovers? Absolutely, as long as there's no physical attraction.
Have you ever fallen in love with a friend? I'll leave this one unanswered...

10 Weird Facts About Me (Ten on Tuesday):

1. I only like to sing in front of large audiences. Small ones make me nervous.
2. I love kids, but only have one.
3. I plan to build a Harley from scratch, beginning on my 40th birthday.
4. I'm completely anal!
5. I will only eat cheese on pizza.
6. I don't like any kind of fish or seafood.
7. I close my right eye when I read a book.
8. I'm double-jointed in my left pointer finger.
9. As a girl, I was able to squirt tears out of my eyes and turn my eyelids inside-out.
10. I have an out-ty belly-button.

(This is probably a little too much information for some...!)

I also wanted to share my latest project, which I did yesterday - the recovering of the kitchen table chairs that I've talked about doing for the last year, and finally got around to! (They used to be a powder-blue cord-type material that really didn't go with my cream/khaki/green living room.):

I finally got a digital camera, and I finally figured out how to upload images onto my computer! (I know, for a smart girl, I'm kind of a dummy, huh?)

Anyway, since I was so proud of me recent expoits as a landscaper, I thought I'd share the before & after pics of my jungle, er...yard:

I have to brag on my incredible nieces here for a moment (my nephews are pretty cool too):

I have several nieces and nephews (comes from having 6 siblings!), and it just so turned out that four of them are all the same age (15 y/o). I just think it's so cool that so many of our kids love music as much as we do, and are talented musicians and songwriters.

My niece, Mary, is the lead singer in a band called Crossover, who actually plays gigs in Humboldt County. Her link is posted here on my blog. On the Crossover website, you can actually listen to some of their music.

My niece, Jennifer, lives in Arizona. Aside from being an extremely bright freshman in college this year, at age 15, she is also a floutist and a budding songwriter. She's such a great writer in general, so I don't know why I'm surprised that her songs are wonderful, too! Her blog link is posted here, as well, and she has posted the lyrics to a few of her songs.

My niece, Carey-Anna, lives in Eureka, CA, and unbeknownst to me, has been learning guitar and writing her own songs, too! Her dad called me last night to tell me that she had just performed at her first open mic night at the Has Beans Coffee Company in Old Town Eureka (who happens to be the city league softball team I played for when my son was just a baby). Pictures of the open mic night can be viewed at www.hasbeansopenmic.blogspot.com.

Now that my "public" has increased its ranks, the demand for output continues to increase...ah, the pressure...

I picked Tyson up on Friday after work from Medford. We oohed & aahed at eachother for a while, saying, "You've grown" & "Huh-uh, you've shrunk!" to eachother. Tyson said my head even shrank & I smelled different. So, that was quite the experience for the two of us; our first big amount of time away from eachother. We celebrated by going to Hometown Buffet, Tyson's favorite restaurant. We had a nice time & he filled me in with a little more detail about his visit, which sounded pretty good (except that he was informed that there was no tooth fairy!). From the sounds of it, there was plenty of partying going on, but I think Tyson's already decided that's not how he wants to live his life. Since being back, he's already said a couple of times how he doesn't plan to drink when he's an adult.

On Saturday, we went to a BBQ at Krista & Dustin's, which is always a good time! On Sunday, we went rafting with a group of 22 people, including a boy & a girl from Tyson's school & their parents. That was a lot of fun - believe it or not, I'd never been rafting before! Definitely an experience I'd like to repeat!

On Monday, Tyson & I went shopping for school supplies & got his hair cut. We also went out to breakfast. I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoy going out to eat so much more as a single parent! No one is rushing us, and we just sit there & chat away, getting as many refills as we want, and actually enjoy the experience! It's so nice! It's so great to have my boy back - we always enjoy eachother's company.

Now, yesterday was a whole different scenario! It was Tyson's first day of school (he's in the 4th/5th blended class this year), so they had a 12:30 release. I picked him up (across town) and took him to Talent, where he goes to daycare. I went inside & said, "Wow! Is Tyson the only kid here today?" and they said they weren't open until the next day...uh, nice of them to put that on the schedule, eh? So I had to bring him back to work with me for 3 1/2 hours on a 2-doc day with a full schedule. I stuck him on the internet out of sight. Thank goodness the administrator wasn't here yesterday! After work, I drove him back across town to football practice, then ran home to do transcription until it was time to pick him up. Then dinner, bath & bed,and before we knew it, it was 9:00! Thank goodness he didn't have any homework! Something has got to give!

10 Great Love Songs
I know I'm forgetting some really great ones - it's hard to do up a list on the spot like this, and there are so many great songs!

1) "You Are So Beautiful" - Joe Cocker
2) "More Than Words" - Extreme
3) "After All" - Peter Cetera & Cher
4) "The First Time...Ever I Saw Your Face" - Roberta Flack
5) "Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton
6) "Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonnie Tyler
7) "Time in a Bottle" - Jim Croce
8) "You Belong to Me" - Jason Wade (and various other artists)
9) "Two Outta Three Ain't Bad" - Meatloaf
10) "I Can't Make You Love Me" - Bonne Raitt
11) "Face to Face" - Alabama

I know you guys are simply dying to hear what's been happening in my extremely exciting life, so in order to feed your insatiable hunger for the grisly details, I figured I'd write a blog entry...(in case you didn't notice, Laura, that was me being "eloquent"!)

Abso-frickin-lutely nothing!! That's what's been going on! Although today is my BFF, Sarah's 29th birthday, and I have the Grand Opening for some fellow eye specialists tonight after work, as well as a parent meeting at 7:30 for football. I'll probably bail on at least one, if not both, of these things, since I already have two tapes to transcribe & will likely have more by day's end.

Tyson leaves from Gold Beach tomorrow morning to come home! I can't wait to see him! It sucks, though, because as soon as he gets back, it's back to school & football practice, along with all the extra transcription I've taken on, including backup for another transcriptionist, who happens to be taking her vacation next week! I'll just have to work during his practices & after he goes to bed so that we can still get that quality time in.

Anyhoo - not much else to report, so tune in next time for more "As Amanda's World Turns" (or, rather, "As Amanda's World Sprials Completely Out of Control")!

10 Lessons You Want to Teach Your Kids

1) You're only a "kid" for 18 years. You'll be an adult for the other 80 years. Be a kid & enjoy it!
2) Be choosy when dating someone! #1. People will judge you based on who you hang with and you might ruin future prospects, and #2. This person could end up being the mother of your child (whether you plan that or not)!
3) Money isn't everything & don't compete with the Joneses, but it's sure important when you don't have it! Work hard & be responsible with the money you earn.
4) Be kind & forgiving of others & don't expect the same from them, because you will almost always be disappointed...just be the better man.
5) Be crazy - it's more fun & it gets a reaction out of people. Dance! People will usually follow suit or be jealous that you have the guts to let go like that. And even if they don't get it, you're still having a good time, so who really cares?!
6) Never burn a bridge - even when you think you don't need it. It not only leaves you more opportunities, it's the respectful way to end things.
7) Use manners & treat a lady like a lady. Some day you'll be the unique, sweet guy who makes her swoon & feel special. (And yes, for goodness sakes, put the seat down!)
8) Be original! Be a leader - or just be yourself; either way, don't follow someone else's path - it may not be the best path for you, and people will respect your originality even if they don't agree with you.
9) Stand up for what you believe in - whether it's your Christianity, your friends, your morals or yourself! Stick to your guns!
10) Travel far away...this world is so much bigger than your hometown, state, or even your country; explore it! You'll come to learn that this world is about so much more than yourself.

Gosh, I had a hard time limiting this one to 10!

Happy Tuesday!

I had the laziest day that I can remember having in years!!!!!

I slept in until 10 am, went to work for a couple of hours (my only concession to un-lazy behavior), stopped by the library & picked up a Jude Deveraux & two Johnathan Kellerman novels, came home & put on my swimsuit, made myself a banana julius, grabbed a blanket & suntan oil & laid out in my back yard for an hour or two, then I came in & laid on the futon & read for another hour or two, until I decided that I needed a nap. I woke up some time later - at this point, I didn't know what time it was when I fell asleep or when I woke up, and frankly, loved not knowing or caring!

I just finished my Jude Devereaux book & only had one interruption: a quick phone call from Tyson at 8:00. He wanted to tell me something, but couldn't, I'm thinking, because someone was nearby, so I asked him if he could tell me later & he said he would...hmm....

Anyway, I felt compelled to share my sinfully lazy day & am now off to watch another chick flick. I finally rented Serendipity last night! What a great movie...if only life were such a fairy tale...

Friday 5
Wedding Crashers (copying my sister yet again!)

1. How many weddings have you attended? Let's see, actually not very many: My mom's, my brother Joe's (where I sang), my sister Kathy's (where I showed up at the tail end - I'll never forgive myself for that!), my friend Shannon's (where I sang), my friend Krista's (where I sang), my own (where I didn't sing, but sure cried a lot!) and most recently, an old friend from High school, Clifton's. I think that's it...

2. Wedding registries: buy from the list or freestyle it? Freestyle, but most likely wait until the very last minute to do so.

3. Are you more likely to slow dance or participate in the chicken dance? Chicken dance! Definitely! Although I might do both, depending on who's there to slow dance with...

4. The garter find/toss experience: cute or tacky? Sexy!

5. If you could marry someone famous, who would it be? Adam Sandler - I know, it sounds weird, but he could always make me laugh & seems like someone I could be comfortable around. Not to mention that Tyson loves his humor, too!

I figured I'd better post something to keep everyone (yup - all three of you!) reading my blog.

I tried renting Serendipity last night, but it was out, so I ended up with Boat Trip instead - I knew it would be totally cheesy, but it was pretty comical & had Horatio Sanz in it, as well as a cameo by Will Ferrel. My favorite part is probably when Horatio's character has finally figured out that they are on a gay cruise by accident & decided to check out the breakfast buffet, because, after all, "How gay can a buffet be?" Well, as it turns out, pretty gay!

Tonight I did some transcription & was supposed to go salsa dancing, but it turned out the dancing didn't even start until 9:45, so that was totally out of the question on a work night! So, we ended up getting ice cream at the Fudge Factory & wandering around the plaza window shopping & talking girl talk. It was nice, because I don't get to hang out with Denise much - she's married, has a daughter in the house still & works 40+ hours a week, so she doesn't have a lot of spare time, and it made me feel special that she'd choose to spend some of it with li'l ol' me! I sure do have some good friends!

Anyway, I should probably turn in for the night - I've been really bad this week about hitting snooze until absolutely the last minute! School starts soon & I'll have to get up even earlier....GROOOOOOOOOOOAAAN!

10 Things You Love About Your City
10 things I love about Ashland

1) I'm from the Rogue Valley & it feels like home.
2) The seasons!
3) The culture of a bigger city, with a small town feel.
4) It's artsy! Music, theater, writers, you name it!
5) The beautiful park, complete with Japanese garden & duck ponds.
6) The plaza & all the unique stores.
7) Great restaurants with good food & creekside seating.
8) Its location is great - it's not far to Reno, Portland, San Francisco, etc.
9) Summer nights.
10) The hills and all the beautiful houses.

Even though my closest family is roughly 4 1/2 hours away, I plan to stay here for at least the next 9 years until Tyson graduates, then we'll see...there sure is a whole lot more I'd like to see of the world, but if I could have a home here & travel everywhere else, that might not be so bad...we'll just have to see what happens!

Strange weekend (yeah, I know - "big surprise!") -
Friday night: went shopping at the mall & dropped off onesies at Arty T'shirts to have custom onesies made for my friends, Gary & Twyla's baby boy, Kyle. One says "Boob Man!" and the other says "They Shake Me!" & has a picture of a really pathetic baby crying on it.
Saturday: back to the mall (under the guise of picking up the onesies, but I did manage to make it before the big sale ended at JC Penney's). I happened to run into my very good friends, Krista & Dustin (with their three kids), so we all shopped & had lunch together. I tell ya, those are some good people - we always have a great time & I just love both of them & feel so comfortable with them. (We've all known eachother since 7th grade.) After that, I decided I'd go test drive some Jeeps - I totally would've bought one, but I don't really have enough equity in my car yet to make it worth my while - it's alright, I like my car just fine, but it's so boring to have a car when I could be driving a Jeep with the top off! After I got home, the salesman called & asked me out. This guy is old & icky, of course, so I said yes. Just kiddin'! Gotcha! No, but I did have a weak moment & told him to call me back another time, instead of firmly telling him no like I should have. I have got to quit feeling guilty about turning people down! My problem is that I don't like to hurt people's feelings! Anyway, I did go to my office administrator's house-warming party & had a relatively good time. I convinced three of the "girls" (aged 31 - 50+) from our Yreka office to go into Medford & do karoake with me, but the first place we went had technical difficulties & had nothing planned as backup, so we walked around & went to a couple of other places, and by the time we finally found a place that had good live music, these guys were ready to go home...oh, well, I figured I had a designated driver & I should make good use of her, so I slammed some drinks down & we left. Turned out maybe that wasn't such a good idea...but, as always, I felt much better after puking!
Sunday: got up this morning & drove out to Eagle Point to go to church with Dustin & Krista & fam. Had a good time - the church has a really great band, but is a small church, not like Applegate. The message I took away from church was to quit living my own agenda & have faith in God & let Him guide my life...not like I didn't know this, but I always need reminding! After lunch, I took a drive through Sams Valley & came home, where I planted more flowers in planter boxes (my back yard is really coming along!) & watched a movie, then danced really badly by myself for a while, without the influence of alcohol, but just for the fun of it. I also got a call from Tyson today & it sounds like he's having a good visit. They went to the beach & built a driftwood fort & played horseshoes & had a BBQ today. Seth was kinda weird when I talked with him...he kept saying how it's been so long & this was taking a lot of getting used to, and I replied that I had been worried about that myself & I hoped that he'd get his license soon so it won't have to be so long between visits. Then he said that he'd have to get a motel to come see him since I won't let Ty stay at Seth's dad's or brother's. (I have good reasons for this, trust me!) I said that he could always stay at his sister's or here & he was getting argumentative, so instead of falling for all the guilt he was trying to put on me (some things never change, I guess!), I told him that it sounded like he wanted to argue & it made no sense. I can't wait to have my boy back!

Well, I suppose today was technically the last day to see Tyson for 2 weeks...he called as promised, and all sounded just groovy - I sent him with some little "extras" for the trip: a cammo mini etch-a-sketch, some bubble-gum & a disposable camera to take pics while he's at the coast...I also found the perfect card to slip in his suitcase so he'd see it tonight when he goes to put on his jammies: on the outside, it says, "Just remember, when you go to bed tonight" - then you open it up & it says, "I love you and miss you!" Could it be any more perfect?

I went shopping at the mall tonight to have something to do - if I'm not careful, I could be in the poor-house by the time the kid gets back...

Today is the last day I'll see my boy for two whole weeks!!! I'm trying to look at the bright side & consider all the things I can do in his absense to get some "me-time", instead of wallowing in sorrow & freaking out a little that he'll be far away & unsupervised with his dad...God will be watching out for him, I know.

So far, I plan to attend a house-warming party for my boss (margaritas are on the menu!) on Saturday, go salsa dancing with my friend, Denise, on both of the Thursdays, and attend a party for another eye specialist's office on the 1st (free catered food & live music - what the hell?). I also plan to rent Under the Tuscan Sun, Diary of a Mad Black Woman & Serendipity, as well as going to see Duece Bigelow II at the theater. Other than that, I'm hoping to get some transcription to do & will put in a few extra hours at Lithia Women's Care so I can make some extra money.

That still leaves me with entirely too much time to miss my boy, though...

It's been a few days since my last blog entry, but I haven't been slacking - quite the opposite, in fact!

On Saturday I'd hoped to go film an interview with mystery writer, Kit Sloan, for Ashland's Mystery Writers' "RVTV Noir" on Southern Oregon Public Television (I've done it a couple of times before; Phillip Margolin is tentatively down for Sept. or October!). Instead I dealt with getting stuff worked on with my car & Tyson & I hung out at Honda because they were doing a drawing for 3 different cars and $500 cash - nope, didn't win, but managed to kill some time before hitting the 11-12 year old All-Star's car wash fundraiser & the ice cream social in Ashland. The latter turned out pretty lame, we both agreed, so we came home & vegged out with some movies.

Yesterday, I got a weed-eater & spent the whole day outside wacking my "lawn", which was basically a jungle, but looks almost decent now, and picking blackberries & planting mums. After all this, we BBQ'd & I made my new favorite side dish, mostaccioli pasta/zucchini salad. To end the very productive day, we picked up some plywood, hinges, handles & a lock to build Tyson's fort.

This morning I woke up completely immobile & called in sick! (I did have a killer headache that I think was caused by all day in the sun the day before.) By the afternoon, after much lazing around, a long soak in the tub & a nap, I was feeling fairly decent, so Tyson & I went to the movies and watched "Sky High", which was fairly entertaining & I figured beat our other choice "Dukes of Hazzard"! (Besides which, I didn't want to incur the wrath of my sister, Kathy!) Then we went out to ice cream & came home to fix dinner (pot roast) & get Tyson ready for football practice.

So there you have it: my (extended) weekend in a nutshell (sorry, Jenn, totally a "this-is-what-I-did" boring blog entry!).

All in all, though, it was a fulfilling and empowering weekend, and, at the risk of sounding more than a little bipolar, one that has made me reconsider my previous longing for the companionship of the opposite sex. At least for now, I do appreciate the fact that by being a single adult, I can't be dependent on others to do certain things for me because they're outside my experience or realm of comfort - instead, I simply learn to do them myself, and that feels really good! Besides, with being single comes a whole lot of freedom that one tends to take for granted (unless they're in a relationship & don't have the luxury of these freedoms!): I can buy something I can't afford & don't have to put up with anyone making me feel even crappier about it! I can change my mind whenever I want! I can clean house on my own schedule (thank goodness I'm a bit of a neat freak, but it's still nice to know, anyway)! I can watch chick flicks, totally cheesy comedies, or movies that make me cry again! I can sing really badly to songs way out of my range & not have to worry if anyone likes it and I can stay up really late blogging when I should be in bed without anyone telling me what to do! Aaahh...the beauty of it all!

I took this test from my (sniper) nephew, John's blog & here are my results:

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]



You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You are not really the stereotypical hero, but you do fight for good. Just in your own way. For you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil person, if it is for justice and peace. You also don't belive in mourning all the time and think that once you've hit a bad stage in life you just have to get up again. It's pointless to concentrate on emotional pain and better to just get on with everything. You also are a down to earth type of person and think before you act. Impulsive people may annoy you somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

10 Best Current Actors/Actresses
There are a lot of beautiful actors/actresses out there that provide a lot of eye candy, but who do you think are at the top of their art? Who are the best ones out there?

1) Johnny Depp (and not just 'cause he's hot - he takes some really strange roles & delves himself completely into the character.)
2) Tim Robbins (haven't seen much of him lately, but love his comedy especially.)
3) Vince Vaughn (hope to see lots more of him - love his quick, snappy humor.)
4) Orlando Bloom is in the same boat with Johnny Depp - recreates himself with each role.

The following are actors I like in almost anything, but unfortunately because they tend to play the same type of characters over and over again, but I like them enough to mention:

5) Jennifer Aniston
6) Adam Sandler
7) Denzel Washington
8) Ben Affleck
9) Matthew McCaughnehey (or however the hell you spell it!)
10) James Caan & Robert Duvall tie.

And a tie for the most disgusting actresses: Brittney Murphy & Kirsten Dunst! Blech!

Pissy, pissy, pissy! That was me today, and I mean in a big way!

It started with having to do payroll at work & nobody had their time cards added up or time off requests turned in, and one person even left without giving me her time card & it was eventually found underneath a box at one of the tech stations! My dear friend & co-worker, Susan, said to me, "Okay, now you're just being pissy; let me come down there & help you!" in response to my statement that obviously people didn't want to get paid...Now, usually I'm a pretty nice (sometimes too nice!) person who goes out of my way to be helpful to others, but guess what? Not today!! Then I get interrupted in the middle of payroll by a snotty patient who wants me to change the diagnosis on her husband's bill so that her insurance will pay out of their vision benefits instead of applying it to their medical deductible - uh, hello, do I look like a doctor? Do I look like I want to be audited by Medicare & fined up the hiney, lose my job & end up in federal prison?!? (Ok, I might be going a tad overboard here, but bear with me for the sake of my ranting!) Well, it went on from there...to top things off, I forgot Tyson's mouthpiece for football practice & had to stop by the apt. to pick it up & pull in to find my door wide open! AAaaaaaaaaaarrrghhh!!! I asked Tyson to close the door behind him this morning, since he was the last one out (although, should I really have to say this? Wouldn't this be just common sense??). The worst part about that, besides the fact that if I did have anything of value, someone could've totally emptied out my apt., is that it's been 97-100+ degrees here, so of course my a/c was on! So I paid all day to cool down the outside!

After dropping Tyson off at practice, I came back home & had a glass of wine & watched Friends & mellowed out a little. By the time I went to pick him up (2 hours later), I was feeling a little better & rented a movie & had a great rest of the night with my boy.

Now I'm going to bed & gladly putting this day behind me!

I know I'm supposed to live by my previous vow, but if you know me, you also know how unrealistic this is for me on a daily basis! I've surprised myself by how well I've done, but I just went & did something to break it...

I took Tyson & his friends, Daniel & Kyle (who are brothers), to the free kids' day in Hawthorne Park today for something to do. We went around to all the booths scooping up all the freebies & playing all the contests & entering drawings. One of the stops was at the booth of one of my favorite radio stations, where I talked with one of the DJ's & 2 of his 3 daughters. I listen to this guy all the time & he cracks me up! I called in one time before my divorce to tell him how much I loved his Howard Cosell impression & asked if he'd ever seen the movie "Better Off Dead", with John Cusack, so on-air, we were laughing about it & relating, and his DJ partner, Shelly, asked if I was married. I told her that, yes, I was, but if I wasn't, I'd totally go after this guy! He was like, "Yeah, they always say that when they're safely married!" So today, I told Tyson that this guy did great impressions & to ask him to do one, so he went up & asked him to do Sylvester Stallone, and the DJ asked how he knew that he could do impressions (then proceeded to do a dead-on Rocky), so Tyson told him that his mom told him & pointed to me. Of course, I was coyly standing aside letting Tyson do the talking, but he did look over & smile really big.

Anyway, to make a short story long, I just emailed him to remind him of my promise that I'd look him up if I were single & said that I haven't done the whole dating thing, but would really just like to hang out with someone who I know could make me laugh & to let me know if he'd like to get together sometime. For once, I'm not really obsessing over this; I just really would like to have fun with somebody & not necessarily worry about romance right now, other than maybe a little flirting.

Egads! I've done a terrible thing & missed a day of posting an entry into my new blog! I knew the day would come...

Day 1 of "The Vow" went pretty well; it's very liberating to go through life living for yourself, your way, rather than worrying about what people will think (in this case, men)!

Last Saturday I took myself out to see Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn (hot, hot hot!!)& Owen Wilson. This was the best comedy I've seen in a loooooooonng time! (Warning: this movie may not appeal to everyone. It does involve some very crude humor, which I happen to love!) I will definitely buy this when it comes out on DVD. Besides being completely entertaining & starring Vincey-Baby, I've always wanted to be a wedding crasher! Next movie I'll probably go see: The Dukes of Hazard. I know that this will be a big disappointment to all the die-hard Hazard fans of old, but I plan to enjoy it with no expectations, and I love Johnny Knoxville & Sean (Astin?) Scott. Yeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! I must confess that I'm a bit dubious about Burt Reynolds being cast as Boss Hog, though...

I've recently received some feed-back regarding my earlier post, "Weird Guy Magnet" & have spent entirely too much time pondering this, but hopefully I'll use that constructively...

The irony here seems to be that I'm my usual charming, outgoing, endearing (well, you get the point) self with guys I'd never consider dating material, therefore, these guys -the "weird guys" - see me as fun & interesting. On the flip side, I see a nice, cute guy I'd like to get to know better & say stupid things & throw myself at him, which doesn't seem to work, for some reason! (As a side note, the man I truly believe to be my soul-mate happens to be married & my sisters won't allow me to pursue my evil plan to destroy his marriage & lure him into my comforting arms, dangit!)

So today, I, Amanda Morris, do solemnly vow to combat my instinctive nature to be the aggresor & move on with life regardless of my romantic status as if it didn't matter - since, really, it doesn't!