I suppose it's been long enough, since I'm getting prompted by Kathy again...It's just that not much has been going on!

Tyson is back, as you know, so my social life disappears & it's all about running him & his friends to the skate park or back & forth to eachothers' houses. We're trying to cram it all in before summer's over & get back into routine for school at the same time. We did some school clothes shopping last weekend, despite Ty's adamant protests.

I don't know if I posted about this before, but our wonderful cat, Domino, went MIA just a couple of days before Tyson left for his dad's & has still not returned. Against my better judgement, we have recently acquired two kittens from a co-worker. We are also dog-sitting for one of the docs while he's on vacation & Tyson is making $10 a day for a week. This dog is very sweet & is no trouble at all, so I second Tyson's question: "You mean you're letting me borrow your dog for a week & I'm getting paid on top of it?"

I've heard nothing more on the jeep, so I'm going to go in & talk to a friend who works at Suburu to see what he can tell me, if anything.

We are going camping w/ the Dawsons this weekend & it should prove to be a blast. I really can't wait! And then Ty will start school on the 6th & it'll be back to the grind, as usual. This is probably one of the more boring posts in my blog, but just remember, you asked for it!

Summer evenings are the best. It's when the rest of the dreadful year gets turned upside down & life is as it should be. Summer days are for sleeping in & laziness; some water play if one feels the need, or maybe even a lemonade stand if you feel particularly motivated or need some extra money for the ice cream truck. But summer nights - when the air is still warm and thick, the smells jump out at you: blackberries and that slightly mossy smell that brings to mind the slipperiness of lake or creek-bottom algae. Summer nights in the valley can be absolutely stunning. I remember when I was a little girl and the sky would be splattered with pink clouds against a bright blue sky and the breeze was warm against my skin, I would pretend that I was in a maxi-pad commercial (with wings, of course - hence, the breeze). When I breathe in the summer evening, I reminisce about other scents from my childhood summers here: thistles and hay, the distinct scent of horses, not to mention goats! Time seems to slow down a little on summer nights, and if I stay up too late sitting outside staring at the stars or driving with the top down in the jeep, it's worth missing out on the sleep I so desperately need in order to face work during every other season.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaawww!! Dad, that's SO cool that you stopped by & left a comment! Mom, I know you read this, too, so feel free to comment, too! Sorry, guys, for holding out on my posts! I know how much you all live for my non-life details! Really, there hasn't been too much to report. Hmmmm...

Last Friday, Terri & Brian were celebrating their 23rd anniversary, so we were off to Chadwicks. Kristin & Lauren (I'm not sure how he spells his name - I'll have to ask) showed up, plus Twyla (Gary stayed home with the kids) & Pat & his wife, along with Terri's sister & brother-in-law. I had the karaoke guy give this whole mushy romantic intro to my dedication to Brian & Terri: Jimmy Buffet's "Why Don't We Get Drunk & Screw". They loved it. Kristin & I are thinking we need to check out some new places the next time I have the opportunity to go out, which might be a while now that Ty's coming home on Friday! I can't wait to see him!

Aunt Linda & Nissa (with her two adorable daughters!) stopped by last night on their way to Eureka & stayed the night. We had some pizza & cake & ice cream for Nissa's 32nd birthday, then played the piano (Dr. England gave me some church songbooks that I grew up with, so I finally have some sheet music, and it's stuff I grew up playing, so it's a little less rusty) & did some karaoke. Around 11 pm, we all started turning in & Nissa turned to me in her little mischevious way & asked how late I'd be up. After she laid the girls down, she crawled into bed & we talked until 1:30 this morning, even though I had to get up at 6:30! I was pretty wasted today at work, but I figured that it was worth it, since we haven't been able to spend time together like that in years! Anyway, it was great to see them all & especially nice to reconnect with Nissa after all this time. I ended up coming home a little early from work today & falling asleep by the pool.

Dave (my friend who sold me the jeep) called me & told me that he might know someone who wants to buy my jeep, so I asked him to pass on my number this afternoon & hopefully I'll be able to work something out with this guy. I'm seriously thinking about leasing this time around, after looking at all the pros & cons & where I'm at in my life right now. It would mean lower payments & less commitment/debt. I'll miss the jeep, for sure, but not so much once summer's over & the rain & snow start back up.

One final thing to note: we're going camping with Krista & Dustin on Labor Day weekend (and probably about 50 other people) over on the coast, where they have this great big area with cabins, a huge bonfire area & a stage. Dustin's whole family will be there & I'm looking forward to jamming out again with his dad. It will be such a blast & a great way to wrap up the summer!

I had worked myself up pretty well by this morning & didn't want to wait & see if Seth would remember to call me, so I did the only thing that I knew to get ahold of them, short of driving straight there today, which I was strongly considering: I called the tavern. Seth's mom's ex-boyfriend works there, so I thought he could get a message to her, but it turned out he was off, but she happened to be right there (she was actually doing laundry on-site; it's an all-inclusive grocery/tavern/laundry/game room type setup). I told her that it sounded like things were getting overwhelming over there & I thought it would be a good idea for Tyson to come home & reminded her of how I felt about Jeff bringing him home. She said that she would go down & have Seth call me right back, and he did. I told him the same thing & he said that he talked with Tyson & that Tyson doesn't want to leave yet. I replied that Tyson doesn't get to call all the shots. So then Tyson got on the phone & told me that he didn't think it was fair that I get him all year & he couldn't stay even the full month with his dad. I explained that I had been all for it, but that circumstances had changed & I didn't feel like he was safe. He thought that was ridiculous, of course. I talked with Seth again & told him that I have done everything I can to encourage any time he wants to spend with Tyson, but that I didn't think he was looking out for Tyson's best interests by going out while he was there. He agreed that he had been stupid & promised me (for what that's worth!) that he wouldn't go out again while Tyson was with him and that he wanted to make the next two weeks about spending quality time with Tyson, without his ex-girlfriend or all this drama being in the picture. He kept saying, "Don't worry" & I told him that I couldn't help but feel that way when I had no way of getting ahold of Tyson & wasn't hearing from him very often & that I missed him. He said, "Well, now you know how I feel all the time" & I said that, "No, it isn't the same, because you know that when he's with me, he's safe." I told him that I may go out when Tyson's not here, but I don't when he's home & he said that's my "problem". There was more, like when he got all defensive about being called out on his constantly chaotic life. He tried to deny it. I responded that I had lived with him for 10 years and that my life was chaos that whole time & he tried saying that I brought the chaos! I was like, "All I ever wanted was a normal life" & he tried to turn that around into me wanting to keep up with the Jones' & that he had to suffer for it. At that point, I realized the futility of this argument & told him that we needed to focus on this whole thing with Tyson, because we could go on forever about why we never should have been together in the first place. Surprisingly enough, he agreed! Anyway, short story long, I agreed to let Tyson stay for two more weeks, with the condition that he doesn't go out again while he's there, that Tyson calls me on Friday & on arranged days from there, that I have the neighbor's phone number & that he find him a ride home, other than Jeff, at that time. I'm sure he thinks that's excessive, but if things were normal, I wouldn't even have to list any conditions & could simply enjoy my time being kidless, knowing that my son is enjoying himself in a safe, loving environment. Lisa asked if I was worried that they would do something to harm Tyson & I told her honestly that I know that they wouldn't mean to, because they really do love him, but their lives are just so dysfunctional that they don't know how to provide a safe environment. So, for now, that's where it stands. I went to the library & got some books so that I can just escape all this for a while until my boy comes home!

Ten on Tuesday - 10 Feel-Good Songs:

1. Don't Worry, Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin
2. Under the Boardwalk, The Drifters
3. You Can Get it if You Really Want, Jimmy Cliff
4. I Can See Clearly Now, Jimmy Cliff
5. Red, Red Wine, UB40
6. Don't Worry About a Thing (Three Little Birds), Bob Marley
7. The Remedy, Jason Mraz
8. Tutti Frutti, Little Richard
9. Kokomo, The Beach Boys
10. Great Balls of Fire, Jerry Lee Lewis

It actually gets worse! I got a call from Robbin this evening that Seth is in the hospital being tested for spinal meningitis. I called the ER & spoke with him. He said that Tyson is staying with his little brother's mother-in-law (who is a total wack job) & that he was wondering if he could send Tyson home this weekend with Jeff - you know, his brother that stole his identity several times to avoid his prior drug, theft & driving violation charges! I was planning on going camping in Eugene this weekend, but I think I need to go get Tyson. I might actually take off work & get him day after tomorrow or something. Seth is supposed to call me tomorrow. I just can't stand the thought of Tyson being passed around between all these random people in the midst of his dad's chaos! I do feel bad for what Seth is going through, but I also don't like what Tyson is having to go through as a result!

I got a call at work from Tyson on Thursday morning. He said that his dad had broken up with his girlfriend, so they were staying with Seth's mom, where there is no phone & no reception for Tyson's cell. Tyson also told me that Seth had gone out to the bar the night before & ended up at some party where he was "mugged" (aka "jumped") by three guys & ended up going to the hospital, where he was treated for several cuts & a sprained neck. Tyson started crying & saying that he felt bad for what his dad had to go through. It just makes me sick that he has to see all the chaos that Seth creates for himself & insists on playing the victim in. I asked Tyson if he wanted me to come get him & he insisted on staying to take care of his dad. He said that, if anything, he'd want to stay longer now. I told him that I wouldn't allow him to miss school & that Seth's mom would take good care of him. I haven't heard back from Tyson since & I can't call him, so I just don't know what to do.

On a lighter note, I was finally able to get the piano on Monday after work, with the help of one of the doctors, a co-worker & a co-worker's husband. I had to rent a trailer & Brian towed it with their Durango. The piano itself is in great shape. It's a dark wood & has some very pretty details, but is missing some of the ivory on a few keys. It seems to be pretty well tuned, though. I need to get more sheet music so I can start playing a little more. Most of the sheet music I have any more is for guitar or is really hard, so I'll go to the library soon & look for some simple music that I can start with.

Yesterday, we were all able to leave work early & go to a potluck at one of the doctor's houses. When we were there, I talked Gary & Twyla into going out to karaoke/comedy with me, since their kids were staying with Twyla's mom overnight. That was a lot of fun. The comedian was really good. There wasn't a big crowd, so I got to sing a lot, but my guy never showed up. We still had a great time.

Samantha is on her way over now so that we can hang out at my place & do some karaoke. I think she'll be surprised to find out that I have "Nobody" on karaoke (thanks to burning the disc that I got Kathy for her birthday when she was here). That was one of the songs that Samantha & I used to sing on the back of the bus when we were kids.

The camping trip is still on, as far as I've heard. I think I'll actually go now & try to call Krista before Samantha gets here.

I finally was able to reach Tyson on his cell phone last Thursday. I called when I was on my break from work & he was over at Kyle's. They were having air-soft gun wars & playing Jack 3 & just having a great visit. I guess he ended up staying the night there for two nights. I got to talk to Kyle, which was SO cool, but weird, since his voice has changed with puberty...He sounds just like Brett! This was the first time I'd talked to him since Shannon died. I tried to just keep it really light & let him know that I loved & missed him.

On Friday, Kristin & I went out with her boyfriend, Loren to Chadwick's. I wasn't going to go, because I'd decided that I didn't want to look like a tramp, but Kathy insisted, lol!! I'm glad I did, though, because I got to actually talk to & kinda sing with the guy that I think is cute there. I'm learning a new song, Whiskey Lullaby, so that we can sing it together next time. Yesterday, Kristin & got our hair cut, then drove up to Applegate Lake in the jeep & laid out & swam & sat on a log out in the water. It was a perfect, lazy day. After I dropped her off, I went over to Samantha's place & hung out until about 11:30 looking at more pics & yearbooks that she got out of storage. We're planning for her to come over next weekend so we can do some karaoke at my place & look at some of my pics so she can see what I was like after moving away.

When I came home last night, there was a message from Tyson, so I called him back this morning & got to talk for a while. He said that he's still having a great time, but I guess he had a weird experiece. He said that, right before Shannon died, he had a dream (involving the ocean, which is really weird, since she had some disconcerting ocean dreams that she'd told me about!) that he had again last week, two days before this guy died that they were just camping with. He said that, in the dream, there is a list of names in the water & he doesn't remember them until after they die, but Shannon's name & this guys's name were on the list. So, he's a little shaken up by that. He's earning money by doing yardwork for some of the neighbors there, so he's planning to buy an air-soft gun from Kyle. I'm really proud of him for working so hard this summer for his own money!

The camping trip go postponed for another couple of weeks, btw, so that hopefully Shannon's litte sister & her family can join us, since they also live in Eugene.

Hey! Samantha was here!! YEAH!! (I obviously still can't add comments to my own shoutbox, but whatever...)

I went on a bike ride on Sunday and when I was riding by one house, I noticed that they had a free sign posted on some patio furniture, so I came back with my jeep & picked it up. Total score! The table is rectangular with a smoky glass top & the chairs are the metal kind with the straps, so all I need to do now is get some cushions for them (there were only three, but who cares?). I should also note that the flowers I planted a couple of weeks ago are still thriving, thus far...

I've been trying to reach Tyson on the new cell phone I got him a couple of days prior to his leaving with his dad, with no luck! I did get a message from him here at home on Saturday night when I was out with Gary & Twyla, but he was breaking up really bad, so I couldn't really hear what he was saying. Ever since then, I decided I'd just try to reach him at their home number, and I've called all day & night, but there was no answer! (They don't have a machine, either.) I finally got really pissed off this morning & wrote him a letter! Then, Seth called tonight & Tyson's staying the night with Kyle. Apparently, they've been camping for the last few days that I've been trying to call, which is what he told me in the message. Anyway, I chewed Seth out & told him to chew Tyson out for not calling me every few days, since that was why I got the cell phones, after all!

I guess I never posted about going out with Gary & Twyla for his b'day. We met at Oh's, a sushi place where they cook your food right there at the table. They had two other couples there. I offered to be the designated driver so that Gary could take advantage of the fact that Twyla's a slutty drunk. Dinner was scrumptious! Afterward, we did end up going to Chadwick's & the comedians were the best I've seen yet. Too bad G & T were so wasted they didn't notice! Anyway, fun was had by all, until Twyla brought the night to an abrupt end when she ran into the men's bathroom puking (much to the dismay of the gentleman using the facilities)! Her friend, Jamie, saw her throwing up & decided she would show some sympathy by joining in. During this time, I was sitting at the table by myself trying to avoid the attentions of a certain elderly gentleman who asked me to sit with him. Needless to say, I wasn't too disappointed when they came to retrieve me! I had fun laughing at the drunks & had the most action I've got in a long time (thank you, Twyla)!

Krista called last night & we're going to try planning a camping trip for this weekend in Eugene, since Lisa & her mom had to cancel going to Chadwick's this weekend. It would be really nice to get out of town. I love road trips, and it's been forever since I was in Eugene (since Tyson was 3 months old, to be exact)!

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

All right, all right, already! Just so's ya know, I can't disable my cookies to comment on my shoutbox at home. Well, let's see...the past week or so has been pretty eventful. Seth came & picked up Tyson for pretty much the rest of the summer last Wednesday. On Monday, I had the toothache from hell & had the dentist call me in some Vicodin (never taken it before, I'm not a junkie!) & tried to just sleep through the pain until I had my root canals on Tuesday. That all went way better than expected & I'm painfree! It sucked that during Ty's last couple of days with me I was in such a funk. You know how snappy you can be when you're in pain? Yeah...add to that the sluggish stupor the Vicodin put me into. Oh well, I guess it couldn't be helped & it's all over now.

On Thursday, I called up my friend, Samantha, who is the girl I went to school with & haven't seen in 18 years. I went to her place & met her kids & hubby, as well as another friend of hers. It was quite a trip! I think it's really cool that we're back in contact after all this time. Tonight, I'm going to dinner with Gary & Twyla at Oh's, one of those sushi places where they cook the food at your table, etc. I don't know what's going on afterward. They said something about a movie or bowling. Bowling would be fun - it's been a while!

Last night, I was invited to go to comedy at an icky meat-market club here in town with an ex-coworker & friend, but she had to cancel at the last minute, so Kristin & I went to comedy at Chadwick's, then stayed for karaoke. It was good times. I even left with a phone number & an invite to go rafting this morning, but that guy's not necessarily dating material. I did manage to get a hug out of the cutie pie who sang to me last time, but that was about all the interaction there. I'd like to see him again (maybe outside the bar!) but I have no clue if he'd even be interested. I don't want to keep going back to the bar to see him, though, because I don't want him to think I'm a barfly! I'm supposed to go back next weekend with Susan, Lisa, Lisa's boyfriend, mom & step-dad, plus I've invited my friend Mike down from Gold Beach to see if he & Susan would hit it off. I haven't heard back from him, yet...

It's funny, when I was married, I liked to go every once in a while if there was a good band or something, but I also thought it was pretty lame that he never wanted to do anything more original. Is there someone out there who likes to do cheesy stuff like a picnic at the lake by candlelight or a hot air balloon ride or horseback riding? Even roller skating would be more fun than always doing the same ol' thing at the bar! And road trips are always good! All I know is, I don't want to settle for less, so it's looking more & more like I'm doomed to wander the planet alone, just like the Incredible Hulk (stolen from The Wedding Singer, one of the BEST movies ever)!

10 Favorite Cancelled Television Shows (in no particular order):

1) Ally McBeal
2) Silk Stalkings
3) Quantum Leap
4) Reunion
5) Charlie's Angels
6) Facts of Life
7) Love Connecion
8) Married with Children
9) That 70s Show
10) Ellen

Tyson stayed the night with a friend last night, so I had a beer & rented Grandma's Boy finally. Extremely juvenille, so of course, I loved it. This morning I picked him up from his friend's house (whom he vows he will NEVER stay the night with again, since they are so strict & "weird") & took him straight to his Grandma Robbin's, where he was paid to do some yardwork. While he was doing that, I came home & did some MAJOR spring cleaning & finally sorted through all my candle stuff. While he was gone, another friend invited him to stay the night, so I took him there when he got back, then went to the local nursery & picked up some flowers & came home & planted them & rearranged my whole back patio. It still doesn't look great, but it's an improvement. Let's hope these flowers live. I tend to have great luck with indoor plants, even starting them myself, but anything I've planted in a pot dies almost instantaneously. I got some advice from the lady at the nursery, though, so I'm hoping this time will be better!

Part of my spring cleaning involved cleaning all these boxes out of the closet that I basically stored when I moved in & haven't touched. I was going through them & ran across my journal that Seth got me for our first Christmas, at 19 y/o & when I was pregnant with Tyson. It has up to 2001. It's not like it's telling me anything I don't know, but gosh, it just makes me realize how much I was in denial for so long & even when Tyson was just a year old, I was writing about feeling guilty, but that it would be a huge relief if I didn't have to live with chaos every day. I can't believe I waited so long to escape that!

Anyway, I just wanted to write about that; it was kinda interesting. I need to do my transcription while Tyson's gone, now that the house is spotless & my yard is nice. Oh - btw, the Rob Thomas/Jason Mraz concert is tomorrow night, and I want to take Tyson SO badly!!! I really can't go, though, 'cause I'm super broke, so I'll (hopefully/probably) do the right thing & take him to a kids festival that costs $2 a pop to get into, vs. the $50 it would take for our concert tickets....

For not having any plans, the 4th of July went really well. Ty & I ended up in Central Pt. for their parade. Afterward, they had live music & booths at the park and, over at Jewett Elementary, they had the whole field covered with bouncy rides of all types. They were supposed to also have the sumo wrestling suits, which we were really looking forward to, but apparently they didn't do that because of the heat. We still stayed for most of the day & went back & forth on a hay ride between the two events. Finally, around 4 pm, we decided to go chill at home for a little while, then went to Medford for the fireworks display. It worked out really well. There was a funny lady who pulled up & blasted the simulcast from her car & we sang together to "I'm Proud to Be An American", "America the Beautiful" and, of course, "The Star-Spangled Banner". It did make for a late night, and this whole week has been pretty rough to get through at work, but hark - the end is nigh! I managed to work enough hours on Monday & throughout the week to not use any more vacation time, so that's a relief!

I talked to Seth the other night, and it sounds like he wants to have Tyson come stay with him, after all. He'll be picking him up on July 19th & wants to have him for a month (at least for now). It kinda sucks, because that's when the fair starts here, so Tyson will miss that, along with the cool Y camp I was planning to send him to, complete with tipis (aka "tee-pees"), archery, fishing, etc. I know it's important for him to have the time with his Dad, and I want that, but it just seems like it's always at the least convenient times!

Well, not much else has been happening - I've been completely anti-social, even online, so if you are feeling neglected, know that you are not alone - I've been neglecting everyone! I'll try to snap out of it!

I am just so unmotivated these days! Sorry I haven't posted in so long. As a result, I will be writing the short version of things:

As you all know, my sister, Kathy, and her three kids came to stay for a week & left on Wednesday morning. We had a great time and got to do pretty much everything we'd talked about doing. We had some down time, by the pool, were able to sleep in some days, took the kids to the park & to the movies (Cars), went out to Sams Valley (in search of "Sick Hill", which doesn't seem to exist anymore, but the lady at Rainey's told us about another hill that would potentially have the same effect, even though she thought we were weird), went out to karaoke & had a candle party - PHEW!! All in all, we really had a great time & a lot of late nights! I miss them already! I took half days off while they were here, so I could have plenty of time to visit, but also wouldn't use up all my vacation time.

Believe it or not, this was actually the first time that Kathy & I have gone out together, and we had a blast! We were definitely the rowdy table, so I'm sure everyone thought we were wasted, but that wasn't it at all - we just like to have fun & be goofy. We did a good job! At one point, this guy that I'd met one other time at karaoke walked over to our table while singing & sat on my lap & posed for a picture. Ooh-la-la!! I'm hoping that I will see him again...

I got a very interesting call on Tuesday evening from a girl that I'd been friends with since we were in kindergarten, right up until I moved to the coast! It turns out she's still in Medford, so we exchanged numbers & I'm hoping to hang out with her soon & catch up! What a trip!

With all the excitement, it totally didn't occur to me that this weekend is the 4th of July weekend & I have NO plans!! The office is closed on Monday, but it would be unpaid time, so I plan to put in at least a half day so I don't have to use even more vacation time right away. I'm kinda hoping that Krista & Dustin are coming down, but I haven't heard back from them yet. Otherwise, we'll probably just go into Medford & watch the parade & do the city fireworks. I just love fireworks!! The 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. Probably in part because it's during the summer, which I live for!

Well, this is all I can manage for now...Hopefully, I'll be writing more before too long.

Ugh - I can't believe I've put off posting for so long! Now I've got a bunch of posting to do to catch y'all up (although I think Kathy's my #1 reader, and she was here with me)!

Slammed day at work, since tomorrow is the last day of the month, so I'll have to do my posting later - just wanted to keep you tuned in & let you know I haven't completely dropped off the face of the earth...

Well, our boys are done with baseball season! We lost our last two games, so we didn't end up in the playoffs. I think Tyson was ready for a break, anyway. He's done sports every season, back to back, for the last year, now. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to do with him to keep him busy this summer. We all know about idle time...

I've been looking into some local programs to help moderate income families buy their first home w/ 0 interest & no down payment, through Rural Development, and another program (not Habitat for Humanity) that they are doing in Ashland to offer affordable housing by using "sweat equity", meaning that I would help to build my house & the houses of 5 neighbors. (They've already filled 2 of the 6 spots available.) They told me today that, if I didn't have such a high car payment, that I would be considered over 75 other families that have applied, based on my credit. I just don't know how to get out of this jeep (as much as I love it, I'd rather be a home-owner)! I think the first step I'll take is to see if my bank would refinance the jeep & lower my payments & see how I do, then.

Kathy should be pulling in this afternoon or evening. It sounds like this has been a stressful trip for her, what with traveling such a long distance on the road with three kids by herself...I'd be going crazy! I'm just hoping that, when she gets here, she can settle in & relax & have some fun! It will be her birthday, after all!

Last Wednesday, I received some roses & chocolates from "YNSSA" (our best guess is "Your Not-So-Secret Admirer", although we had a lot of fun imagining what else it could stand for...). On Friday afternoon, I finally received a call - you guessed it - from Mr. V! He called under the pretense of asking about the baseball tournament schedule, then, after about 5 minutes or more, asked if I got "the package". I feigned surprise, since I had called the florist upon receipt of the flowers to ask who they were from & she said that it was a "middle-aged" guy with brown hair, who was short, so my guess was that it was him. I told him that the flowers were very pretty, but that I really was not interested in dating. He replied that we wouldn't have to call it a date, to which I replied that I just wasn't interested in going there at all. To this, he said, "Well, I guess I was just hoping you could say that to my face." I was so shocked that he would be so rude by saying that! Here I am, with concern for his feelings, being very firm, but polite in letting him know that there is not a future here, but he seems to be a nice guy, etc. and he talks to me like that? It's not like I led him on AT ALL, or had not made it clear. I told him that I didn't mean to be rude, but that I had already told him twice now, & didn't think it was necessary to say it to his face. I then changed the subject back to baseball & closed the conversation.

On Friday night, Tyson stayed the night with Henry, so they could take him to the baseball game in the morning & I could take my yard sale stuff out to Dustin & Krista's in Eagle Pont to get everything set up & priced. We were up till about 1:30 a.m. getting it all ready, but still got up around 8:00 a.m. the next morning & started the yard sale. I had to leave around 11:00 a.m. to pick up Tyson from his game in Ashland, where I talked to the coach & some other parents about the upcoming tournament (which we are currently tied for 1st place in!), then left without seeing Mr. V.

Tyson & I were headed out to Eagle Point, when I noticed Mr. V's car in the turning lane ahead of me to enter a shopping center. I figured that he wouldn't see me, since I was a couple of cars behind him & heading straight, rather than turning. At the next stop light, I heard a car horn beep & looked around, but didn't see anyone, then noticed that he was two cars behind me in my rear view mirror! He had to have pulled out of the turning lane to follow me, and here he was, trying to get my attention! I pretended not to know who had honked & continued when the light changed. At the next stop light, though, he actually blared his horn loudly & for a long time. At this point, I told Tyson to hang on, because we were going to lose this creep, and I didn't care if he knew I was trying to outrun him. We were almost out to Eagle Point by the time I finally sped through a yellow light & left him behind at the red light. I really don't know what to think! Not only is he old & dorky, he is psycho to boot!!!

Anyway, I went back & wrapped up the yard sale (making about $10 total!) & started setting up for the going away party. We had a really nice spread & a lot of people came over to BBQ. Tyson made friends with a 13 year old girl from the neighborhood & they hung out most of the time together. The party itself was a lot mellower than usual & pretty much wrapped up a little after midnight. In the morning, Tyson went hiking with his new friend and we got to work packing up & cleaning the remainder of the house & they left a little after 3 p.m. Tyson & I came home & I did some cooking & cleaning, then snuggled in to watch "Angels in the Outfield", which I had purchased at another neighbor's yard sale on Saturday, then went to bed.

So, that's the weekend in a few paragraphs...Also of note - Kathy's coming! Kathy's coming!! I'm getting very excited to spend time with her & my nieces & nephew. It sounds like Tyson will not be staying with his dad this summer, as planned. Seth is not doing very well, physically or financially, not to mention that he is not sure if he's going to still be with his current girlfriend (the 43 y/o), whom he is living with. Sooooo....we'll see how things go. I do feel sorry for him, and I guess I'm just glad that his bad decisions don't have to ruin my life on a daily basis anymore, although they will still affect Tyson & me in the long run. Well, I'd better run for now. It's lunchtime!

Well, whadda ya know? It's actually 10 on Tuesday!

10 Ways I Like to Relax

1) Read!!
2) Lay out in the sun
3) Watch movies or TV
4) Drive & listen to music
5) Drink wine & do karaoke at home
6) Playing cards or chess with my son
7) Play the guitar/write songs or poetry
8) Go for a bike ride
9) Hang out with good friends
10) Talk on the phone with my sister, Kathy, or email people & surf the net

I did end up going to Eureka this weekend. I left on Saturday morning instead of leaving after work on Friday, giving me an opportunity to get my transcription done & get all ready to go.

I got there right around noon & stopped first at my brother, Allen's house(who happens to live about 20 feet away from my other two brothers). Tyson wanted to jam out in his music studio right away & was amazed at Allen's guitar playing. Then I went over to see the other boys & my nephew, Joey, who is 3 years older than Tyson, but they've always gotten along really well. I'd brought down an extra computer for them, so we got that all set up & basically just hung out. Mom came over after her dyalisis & we all BBQ'd over at Allen's. We crashed at Joe & Deland's and I fell asleep watching Hoodwinked, which looked really funny, from what I saw.

The next day (Sunday), I went over to have some coffee w/ Dad & shoot the bull. We had a really nice, long talk about a lot of different things, then I showed him how to record on his new karaoke machine, so we spent some time singing & recording. I also was able to record the song that I started writing 8 years ago & want Dad to co-write with me, but he didn't have the tune. Afterward, we went by & picked up the boys & headed down to Fortuna, to my big sister, Laura's house. My nephew, Johny, came down from Ferndale & Mom came over, too, & we Laura fixed us some spaghetti & we played rummy (or tried to). It was SO funny! Try getting 10 people together to play a card game & agree on the rules! The best part, though, was when my brother, Deland, asked what people had laying down as points, since he can hardly see, and Mom & Dad started telling him which cards he could play if he had them in his hand! So, Laura, Joe & I all insisted that it was okay to tell him what was on the table, but they couldn't coach him on what cards to play, but they said that's not what they were doing. After two rounds of rummy, we decided to play Go Fish, since maybe we could all agree on the rules to a game that simple. But, of course, we couldn't decide how many cards you needed in order to be able to play them. It really was quite hysterical! After everyone left, I stayed at Laura's & she, my niece Mary, and I went hot tubbing & had some girl talk. Laura & I stayed up a little longer & talked some more, before turning in somewhere around 11pm-midnight.

In the morning, we all went to Hometown for lunch & visited some more before I had to drive back. All in all, it was a great visit, and I felt really special. Funny how I hated being the baby all my life & now I love it! I didn't get out of there until 4 pm, but I got home a little before 8 pm, so was able to settle in a little before work & school this morning. We have a baseball game tonight & this will be the first time I see Mr. V since turning him down for lunch. I'm hoping everything's cool.

One more thing: It's my niece, Miranda's, 3rd birthday today!! I was able to be there with my sister when she was born, so I'll never forget this one!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRINCESS MIRANDA!!! XOXOXOXOXO

In case anyone else was waiting with bated breath, as I was, to find out what Seth's deal was, it turned out to just be about the DA coming after him for child support. I basically had to reassure him that I really don't have any control over that, and that was that. I was sure it was something really major! Geez...

Let's see...As usual, not much happening around here besides work. I've been doing a lot of clean-up & back work, trying to get caught up from when we were short three people. It's actually kinda nice & gratifying to do this type of work & see the result, though. The nice weather has come & gone, so I finally resigned myself to putting the top back on the jeep.

I guess one exciting thing is that Rob Thomas & Jason Mraz are coming to town this summer & I'm planning to get tickets soon. Lynnard Skynnard will also be here, but Krista & Dustin are planning to go see them in Bend, with Dustin's bro & his wife (who we also went to school with) & go camping that weekend. I'm not sure yet if I'll go to that, but I'd sure like to!

Gary just came into my office & we were talking about being put under for the oral surgery & stuff & he said to check & see if my buttons are done up wrong when I come to & Lisa said, "Yeah, wouldn't it be your luck to miss out on the whole experience?!?" I thought that was pretty funny.

Well, back to the grind for now...I'll post soon if anything actually happens to post about!

Well, we were too late for the horse races, so we went to see Over the Hedge, which was pretty good. The next two movies on my list to see in the theater are X3 & Click, with Adam Sandler (of course)!

I called Mr. V back today, in response to a voicemail at work inviting me to lunch & (I hope) politely told him that, although I was flattered by his invitation, I'd prefer to keep our friendship on the baseball field. I hope I handled it ok. Another lesson learned: Just say no the first time, instead of figuring out how to get out of it later! I've also been toying with the idea of getting a fake wedding ring to deter the kind of guys I attract. I don't seem to have any luck with the guys I like, anyway, so I'm not worried about deterring them. (Side note: the church guy ended up being a sleaze - well, to be fair, I suppose he's sowing his wild oats after a long marriage, but I don't even want to go there - ick!)

I've missed a lot of work lately, so I spent today doing my best to catch up. I also had a voicemail from Seth from yesterday (while I was at an all-day billing seminar) that "we need to talk" & he sounded pissed off. I tried three times (in the middle of my already slammed day) to call him, but there was no answer & they don't have a machine. I went over to Krista's tonight, since I'm trying to spend any extra time with her before she moves, & we went for a walk. I came home to another message from Seth, saying that I "never" answer my phone at work & again, "we need to talk". I tried calling him back, but got no answer again. So now I'm already on edge just wondering what we need to talk about. What have I done now to piss him off? I guess I'll find out soon enough...Hopefully it won't result in yet another arguement. I'm so sick of fighting - isn't that why we got divorced?

On a happier note, Tyson's orchestra concert is on Thursday night. He has one more big project to finish (the one on Michael Jordan) before school ends. We are both so burnt out right now that it will be really nice once he's out of school! I'm also looking forward to my sister's upcoming trip from AZ!! And, yes, I'm thinking about finally making the trip to Eureka this weekend, since we have a three day weekend & my bro has generously offered to help out w/ gas for the jeep, if I'll just come visit!

Well, I'm really wound tight from just finishing my transcription & stressing over Seth's ominous phone call, so I'm going to try to find something on TV to put me to sleep. Good night!

Well, I like Kathy's idea of Mr. Right (now)! I really would just settle for the summer romance & some casual dating. I was married for long enough that I'm not in a huge hurry to do that again (although I do want to, someday). I'm just sick of being told that I'm too nice, which is why I attract the guys I do - that are normally to insecure to ask someone out - or that I'm intimidating & that's why normal guys don't ask me out. Like, which one is it?!? Anyway, I'm over it again for now. There are definitely worse things in life than being a single mom to a great kid, who has a decent job & lives in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that just because the grass is always greener on the other side, doesn't mean it's not okay over here, too!

I made sure to sit by a couple of other baseball parents at today's game & gave short, friendly replies in passing to the baseball dad who asked me out (aka Mr. Viagra). Um, BTW, it's funny, because I told Tyson about it & he asked, "Are you sure that's his dad? I always thought it was his grandpa!" We brought a kid home with us from baseball, who is potentially going to be the lead guitar for Tyson's band, so I'm thinking about taking them to do something fun, like movies, bowling, skating or the horse races. I'll end this for now, since there's really nothing new to report.

It's like a heat wave!!!

I can't believe how hot it's been here - Good news is, I'm getting a great start on my summer tan! We had a baseball game tonight & would've won, but at the top of the last inning, we had bases loaded & only one out, but with four runs, so they called the four run rule, which allowed us to be tied, but gave the other team an opportunity to continue scoring during the bottom half. Tyson pitched & he had two outs, bases loaded & a full count & struck the batter out, for a final score of 9-9. We're calling it a win, no matter what they say! I did get asked to lunch by one of the dads on Tyson's baseball team. Of course I said that would be nice, & the guy is a nice enough guy, but there is just no attraction there. He's at least in his fifties. Oh well, I suppose it can't hurt to have lunch with a member of the opposite sex. Maybe it'll be good practice.

For Mother's Day, I went to pick up Tyson from his Aunt Traci's place & he had made me a card (a really nice one, as a matter of fact!) that said "Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I'm glad you're my mom. Have a wicked nice Mother's Day!" (In case you didn't recognize it, the last line is from a card that Adam Sandler's character wrote in Mr. Deeds. Then we went to Dutch Bros. to get my free Mother's Day coffee & went to see Akeelah & the Bee. (Good flick) Anywa, I'm gonna go read my book before bed after I watch the news. It just flashed on something upcoming about dating & flashed an interview with a girl that used to work with me, so I have to check it out! Good night!

Well, Tyson is staying the night with his Dad at his Aunt Traci's house tonight. I hadn't heard from him at all until last night at 9:00, when he pulled into town. I chewed him out, because I hadn't heard from him since he'd mentioned coming down, and he was like, "Well, I said that I was coming, didn't I?" HA! As if he has always done what he says he's going to. Then he started whining..."I've had a lot going on...I've been in & out of the emergency room & have to have surgery on my arm..." yadda, yadda, yadda. I scoffed,"The E.R.? Come on!" Well, I found out from his mom today that he actually was telling the truth (uh...oops! My bad!), although this wouldn't be the first time(or the last, I'm sure) that she's lied for him. Anyway, I made nice & all that crap.

I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do with Tyson this summer. I did sign him up for a week-long summer camp through the YMCA, where he'll get to camp out in tipis (which I always thought was spelled "tee-pees") & ride horses & do archery, fish, raft, etc. I also found a Michael Jordan basketball camp that I would LOVE to be able to send him to!! He got so excited. MJ actually is there with the kids, giving lectures & lessons 4 out of the 5 days. It would be the experience of a lifetime for Tyson. First of all, with basketball being "his" sport and second, meeting his hero. Before I even found this camp, he was doing a report for this big 5th grade project on a notable character, and he chose Michael Jordan. Anyway, it's $750 & in Santa Barbara, but if there is any way I can send him, I will!

I don't think I've mentioned this on my blog yet, but Dustin & Krista sold their house & are moving to Eugene, where Dustin received an incredible job offer, complete with medical, dental & vision for the entire family, plus his bro & sis-in-law & their kids are up there, along with Krista's parents. I just know I'm REALLY going to miss them! Other than them, I don't have anyone else here except for friends I've met through work or Tyson's school/sports. I went to their place last weekend, when Tyson had a sleepover, and we went to a BBQ at their neighbors', where I was re-introduced to a very cute guy from church, whom I mistakenly thought was married, so I never looked twice at! (Okay, maybe I looked twice at him, but that was it. Married = off-limits!) Since I've stopped going to church out there, I think the next time I see him will be at Krista & Dustin's going away party. We're going to try & have Dustin's dad & his band come down & do a garage performance in their cul-de-sac (after checking the local regulations on that) & have a block party/BBQ/campout. When I lived in Gold Beach, I jammed with Dustin's dad & co. several times. He is an incredibly talented guitarist, so I'm hoping it can all work out, but it will be fun, either way.

Not much is going on for me personally; I'm in one of those slumps again, I guess, where it seems like my life revolves around Tyson & making money, with not much else to do. Of course, it's the end of the school year, & it always seems like they save everything for this mad rush at the end, so between that, baseball & work, I'll have my hands full. I think I'm just ready to be swept off my feet for a summer romance...of course, with my track record, I always have to be careful of what I wish for, or all the circus freaks will start knocking on my door again. Why am I cursed to attract only the weirdos? I'm aware that this question is redundant, but I still haven't figured out the answer or been proven wrong...

Hey - FYI: I just added some photos for previous posts, so go back & check 'em out. Dunno why, but I still can't seem to post the ones from the Talent Show...?

I know, I know....I haven't forgotten about y'all, just had lots going on, as usual! Updates on last blog post: Tyson made the relay team (out of 80 kids, he placed 8th!) for track. I had my exam & do have to have two root canals, but I've convinced the dentist to do both at the same time, because I just don't think I'd go back if the first one hurt. Better to just do them both at once! What sucks is that my cost will be just over $2000 out of pocket, just for the root canals, not to mention the follow up crowns & fillings back at my regular dentist's office!! Totally sucks & I'm not quite sure how I'll swing it, but I know I need to get it done & out of the way.

Mike is home!!!!!! HURRAY!!! He & Debbie called me on Saturday & I actually got to talk to him & hear his voice. I disguised mine at first to freak him out, but the poor guy didn't know better in the first place. I just can't believe he's doing so well after all that his body went through - it had pretty much done a total shut-down & now he's talking about going back to work in a week! Truly amazing! Anyway, welcome home, Mike! We've missed you!!! XOXO

Last weekend, I finally got my place all clean & cozy. I also had daqueries (sp?) w/ my neighbors & watched Susan's 17 y/o daughter do fire-dancing in the plaza. For once, we didn't have a baseball game over the weekend, so I used it to get everything caught up for the candle business, printing new flyers for 20 lap boards, making sure all my catalogs had labels, making hostess packets, etc. On Saturday, Tyson & I went out to Gold Hill & tried our hand at fishing - er, that didn't go so well, but the picnic part of it was nice! Hey, at least I tried! On Sunday, we went out to breakfast at Hometown (couresty of my birthday gift card from Mike) & came home to clean some more. Last night, Tyson went fishing w/ his friend, Sierra, and her mom & he caught a trout, which I baked for his dinner tonight, wrapped in tin foil w/ butter, lemon juice & garlic powder. He seemed to like it. I don't know when I got so prissy, but it was all I could do to touch the dead fish before it was cooked. It was so slimy, cold & dead - and those eyeballs!!

In other news, the top came off the jeep, at long last! It does get a little chilly & breezy on the way to work, so this morning I pulled it back up w/out the windows & that helped, but over the weekend, it was nice driving around & being able to look up at the sky (especially at night!) while I was driving. There's so much more going on that I just can't write about here. There are two things I can't discuss on my blog: work & specific male figures...

Seth finally called tonight - I think he's called once since Tyson came back from Spring Break & that has been quite some time. I guess he has muscular dystrophy & degenerative bone disease, so I think he's going to try to get social security. For now, he's working again, at the golf course...for now...He says he's planning to come to town on the weekend of the 13th so he can see one of Tyson's baseball games. His mom one $8,000, which is nothing new - when you gamble all the time, you're bound to win big every once in a while, but this time, it was off a $2 scratch-it! Now, why can't that happen to me?

I have another candle party this Sunday & I think it'll be a very profitable one. Looks like a good turnout so far & I really do like my new display! Hopefully this lengthy post will appease my sister for now...I really will try to be more consistent!

Okay, Kathy, you win!

Every time that I pull up my favorites & see "Not-So-Deep Thoughts" I cringe & look away, guilty that I am shirking my sisterly duties in keeping some pathetically deprived people apprised of the boring details of my day-to-day life. I guess it's time to suck it up & write!

Ok, first: Mike. I keep missing Debbie's (his wife) calls, but she faithfully leaves detailed messages informing me of any new deveopments. I was thrilled to hear that he may be getting off of dyalisis, starting today, hopefully. She says his mind is also clearer & he is back from Ecuador, where he believed himself to be for an entire day. (Cheap travel? I suppose it's not so cheap when you consider the hospital bill...)

Speaking of medical bills, it looks like I'll be seeing quite a bit of my dentist. I go in tomorrow for the initial exam/cleaning/x-rays before they will do any work, but I have two teeth that are killing me! And I'm such a baby about pain that it's hard enough for me to deal with the cleaning, much less the root canal or extraction that they are needing to do. Just a little anxious, here...

As you all know, since I'm gone every time you call, I've been extrememly busy, between baseball, candles & transcription (besides the full time job, of course)! I'm filling in for Brenda again, since Friday. She does her docs as full time work from home, so when I fill in for her, it's pretty time consuming & I don't get a lot of sleep or socialization. But I'm grateful when the check comes rollin' in! I have a meeting that I'm supposed to go to tonight for Partylite & I have a party scheduled for Wednesday. I'm actually really excited to do the party, because I just got some new stuff in from the Spring/Summer line & will be doing a new display! I've also got a lot of new neat little "gifts" & doorprizes.

Egads! I can't believe I haven't even mentioned the limo ride! It was SO cool & Tyson & his friends totally felt like rock'n'roll royalty! We took lots of pics, so I'll definitely have to try posting them here (although I've had trouble with that the last few times I tried)!

Tyson's going to try out for the school track team today. It's nice, because all of the practices & the meet (I think they only have the one) are during the school day, so it won't interfere with baseball, although it might interfere with orchestra. I'm trying to coordinate w/ his orchestra teacher to see if we can work it out to where he is able to do both.

Other than all that, it's pretty much the same routine here. I've been just thrilled about all the great weather we're having. The sun is shining & it's getting much warmer! I'm thinking it's almost time to take my top off (the jeep)! I sure do love summer! The only bad thing about it is that it makes me want to work part time or early mornings so I can enjoy the day & the awesome summer nights. Where is my sugar daddy, already?!?

Today's the big limo ride! I'm leaving work at 3 pm so I can have time to get everything ready before the limo picks us up at 5 pm.

So, my friend Mike...He is finally off of life support & breathing on his own. Apparently, from what his wife has told me, he even managed a chuckle when she read him my "cheer-o-gram", so that is promising! He is still undergoing dyalisis, which I did tell Debbie that you have been on, Mom. (Although I'm amazed to hear about that guy who's been on it so long!) It's still really difficult for him to talk, so it's very limited. Please keep him & his family in your prayers, guys. I have complete faith in the power of prayer! Also, he'd get the biggest kick out of hearing from any of you in the form of a "cheer-o-gram" via Bridgeport Hospital, if he knew you were my friend/relative. It's free, so if you feel so inclined, here's the link: http://www.bridgeporthospital.com/CheerGram.asp.

Tyson was the starting pitcher for last night's game! I thought he did well, even if it wasn't perfect, but he's been really hard on himself about it. He had several strikeouts and even got an out at first & his friend, Henry, had a triple play at third. (We still lost 3-6.) We have a whole new group of parents who will have to learn that I am the loudest mom & expect us all to cheer on our kids, but they seem to be up for it!

In other news, today is my niece, Mary's, birthday!! So, a little "shout out" to Mary: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

So much has happened that I really haven't wanted to write. My friend, Mike, (some of you may know him as "Broken Hubby" from his comments to my posts) has been in the hospital after ingesting some type of toxic substance at work. Both kidneys are shut down & he has been on life support & dialysis. His wife, Debbie, has been kind enough to keep me posted daily on his progress & we spoke on the phone last night for quite a while. I told her Mike will be jealous that she got to speak to me before he did. I just hope that he's going to come out of this okay!

Let's see, in other news...Tyson came home last Sunday around 3:45 & we flopped on my bed & caught up for a good 45 minutes or so. Then I told him that I'd let him choose a place for dinner, so we went out to Red Lobster. I was planning to take him to a movie, too, but he said he wanted to just hang out in my "new" room & watch La Bamba. It was a great day.

Same ol, same ol' for the rest of the week, mostly. On Friday, I made the bank deposit & ran into Daniel, who used to work there, that I went to the Hong Kong Bar with that night (I think I posted about that!) & Frankie, who works at the music store in the same parking lot as the bank. Frankie hadn't seen my jeep yet, so we went for a drive up in the hills of Ashland & looked at the town below & some gorgeous houses. At one point, we got out to look down & he picked me a daffodil, which I thought was very sweet. Afterward, I dropped him back off at work & went to Tyson's baseball practice. Henry ended up coming home with us to stay the night, so I took the boys to see Benchwarmers, which was hilarious & perfect for the night before their opening ceremonies & first game of the season.

Yesterday, I took the boys to Henry's before going into Medford for the billing seminar, then did the candle party afterward. The party was a big success, with two bookings off of that in the next month. Tyson's game went really well, from what he told me. His team won by one point & he pitched the last three innings & had three strike outs! The rest of the game, he played catcher.

This morning, we got up & decided to skip church & spend time together, so we went out to breakfast & headed into Medford to the Guitar Center to see if Ty could pick up a bass for the $140 he's saved in birthday money & allowance. Sure enough, he's the proud new owner of a kick-ass silver Ibanez electric bass.

Next weekend is the big party - it looks like he'll have Henry, Tyler, Lilly (Henry's girlfriend & his ex-girlfriend) & Chelsea (the girl he likes now & Lilly's best friend). We're still sticking with the plan to get the limo & go get their portrait done & come home for pizza & cake. I'm really excited & I hope it goes as well as I think it will!

Anyway, for now, I have to do a little bit of transcription before turning in for the night. I'll be picking up extra transcription for the week of the 22nd-29th from Brenda, so that'll be some extra cash & more work - a double edged sword.

I suppose it's time to update this thing for those of you who have nothing better to do than to check my blog every day, only to find that I haven't posted anything new...

Let's see - Good things have been happening. I'm taking everyone's advice to heart on this whole 30 thing & really liking the idea that I get a fresh start at 30, but with the knowledge only time & experience can bring. It's a good feeling! I've been really busy this week, just re-doing my bedroom & finally getting around to a lot of different projects around the house & organizing, which is also a good feeling!

Last night, I went out with Kristen, from work, & we watched a couple of comedians, then did karaoke. We closed down the place & by the end of the night, everyone had joined us at our table & I got the whole place to sing "Love Shack" with me! Lots of fun, but not much sleep!!

Seth called around noon to say they were getting a late start bringing Tyson home, but I told him that it was okay, since I'd cancelled the plans to rent a limo this weekend for Tyson's birthday & am putting it off 2 more weeks. He then asked if it would be okay to keep Tyson one more night, since Kyle had come over & they were spending time together!!!! (For those of you who don't know, Kyle is Tyson's best best friend, also Shannon's oldest son, who she had when we were 17 & seniors in high school. Tyson met him when he was just 2 weeks old & the 2 year age difference never seemed to affect their close friendship. When Shannon died, she had Tyson stay with her for a few days to be there for Kyle's 10th birthday - then 2 weeks later she was gone. Shannon's ex doesn't want anything to do with me, so Tyson & I haven't seen Kyle since then, so this is a really big deal!) Seth said they hadn't argued once & just picked up where they left off & were 2 peas in a pod & were just having a blast together. I guess they stayed up till 6 a.m.!

The reason I'm postponing Tyson's birthday plans is because his good friend, Henry, and the girl he likes are both out of town this weekend & only one other friend could come, so it wouldn't make sense to do it now. Then, next weekend, on Saturday, I have to attend a mandatory medical billing/coding seminar from 9-3 in Medford, then have a candle party scheduled for 4 pm in Ashland! It also just so happens that this is opening ceremonies for baseball! I have never missed a single game of Tyson's (or concerts, plays, etc.) & here I have to miss the very first game of the season - he might even be pitching this year! It's so nice to have a different coach for baseball - Tyson's having so much more fun this year. I think he's finally learning how sports are more about teamwork & fun & athletesism than being on a winning team, even if it means you're a benchwarmer. Don't get me wrong, I'm very competetive & I know sports are also about competition, but it shouldn't be to that extent.

Anyway, that's the latest. I'm gonna snuggle into bed early & watch a movie, now that I have my TV & VCR set up in my room!

It's my birthday & I'll cry if I want to...

Well, I got the b'day blues about a week ago - this whole 30 thing was getting to me & making me wonder how I let so much time go by without accomplishing all I wanted to, but ya know - I haven't done so bad, either. I thought that today would suck, what with Tyson being gone & all, but I actually had a great day & it really flew by! I got up this morning & went into the office for the staff meeting (Gary got poppyseed muffins, fruit & yogurt, just for me!) & Susan gave me a cute card & of course, had to mention that it was my 30th b'day at the meeting...Afterward, I came home & re-arranged my bedroom & started painting some pics for Susan's b'day tomorrow. In the meantime, my little office crush stopped by & delivered a rose with a card & yummy cake & then the calls started pouring in at home. (As of yesterday, I received cards/gifts from Carey (Allen), my big bro, my dad, the church, & my friend, Mike, from Connecticut (thanks again, Mike!!). I feel the love...So, today I got a call from Sarah in Vegas, then heard from all three of my big bros., then my sister, Kathy, then Tyson & my dad. (My mom also sent me a cute e-card, so I don't want to forget to mention that :) And, of course, I got Happy Birthday wishes from other friends via email. As Mike said, life really is good when you have friends! Anyway, I've gotta get to bed, so here's my 10 on Tuesday:

10 Things That People Do That Annoy You

1) Act defensive & blame others
2) Change lanes without signalling
3) Give weak handshakes
4) Backstab
5) Take credit for someone else
6) Brag
7) Set time limits or try to control you (yes, I'm referring to the ex)
8) Try to make others feel inferior
9) Interrupt
10)Lie for no apparent reason

(Stolen from my sister's blog)
Free Association
From Unconscious Mutterings


I say ... and you think ... ?

Upgrade:: Cost
Happy ending:: Fairytale
Stale:: Bread
Tripping:: Mushrooms
Working:: Money
Explicit:: Lyrics
Happy place:: Happy Gilmore
Tornado:: Kansas
Medication:: Illness
Muppet:: Kermit

Wow - I can't believe it's been so long! I just booted Tyson off of here for a minute, so I won't post much, but figured it was time to write again...

We went to church again today; I'm really loving these kids I teach. It gets easier every time now that we both know what to expect from eachother & have a semi-routine down. I acutally have them running up & hugging me when I go to leave & asking if I'll be teaching them next week. I drew them each their individual pictures on their name tage & they thought that was so cool - we did ninja turtles, monster trucks, beach umbrellas, etc. It's great really connecting to these guys & I tried something new today to involve all of them in prayer, which is always a struggle, because not everyone wants to participate & they tend to get antsy. I started by doing a dance holding hands in a circle to the song "We're All Together Again" & I had the kids hop up & down every time we sang the word "here". At first, they thought I was a freak, but then they started digging it & by the end, we all fell into a circle on the floor, where we dove right into prayer. I had the kids tap the kid next to them when they were done & everyone actually did it! Success!

After church, I took Tyson & his friend, Henry (the drummer from the talent show) to Guitar Center so we could mess around. The kids really had fun & the employees there are all really good sports about letting them play the instruments. Tyson fell in love with his first electric bass & has decided that he doesn't want to play 6-string, but loves the bass. He already is off to a great start, since he's been playing the acoustic upright. I showed him how to play the lick from "Sunshine of Your Love" & he picked it up right away & sounded great! We also ran into a guy there who said he does bass lessons, so I took his number & we'll go from there.

In other news, as some of you know, I will soon be attempting to add legal transcription to my resume & I'm really excited about that opportunity...Tyson will be going to his dad's for Spring Break. I was planning a trip to Vegas w/ Sarah for my 30th birthday, but decided that money was better spent on Tyson's birthday (which I'll write more about later - way cool plans!), so now I'm thinking about going to Eureka for a long weekend & seeing the fam. Anyway, I'd better give the computer back to Tyson...he's looking at Musician's Friend for basses. He keeps telling me that I just don't understand what he's feeling & he's just so ecstatic that he's found his instrument. I'll write more later...I intend to add my sister's word association from her blog before I can read her answers.

Update time again...

Let's see, last Sunday, Tyson & I went to church & I taught the 3,4 &5 y/o class again. It went really smoothly, since there were only 4 kids & I had a helper! This is such a fun age group. They're these little adults with amazing personalities and perspectives, but without all the pretense & crap that comes with adulthood! At one point, Maylee said to Addison, "Addison, are you ready for your makeover?" She was so matter-of-fact & grown-up about it - I guess you had to be there, but it was really cute! (They proceeded to smear eyeshadow onto eachother...which is preferable to the little "make-over" sessions I had at that age, involving scissors!)

Anyway, when Tyson & I met up after church, he told me that he'd formally accepted Jesus into his heart! Isn't that awesome?!? We then went out to the movies & finally saw The Pink Panther - SO cheesy, but hilarious. We both loved it & laughed out loud several times during the movie. Today on the way to school, we were talking about global warming (due to a recent section on this in his science class - this isn't our usual pre-school banter, which usually consists of headbanging to Green Day or Bowling for soup or singing along with Jason Mraz) & the end of the world & heaven & hell etc. I told him my theory on that, which is that if we do worship God & simply try to be good people who are kind to others & don't steal, kill etc. that we will be one of the chosen ones when Jesus comes to collect. This led to a discussion on how to be a good person & to realize that God is always watching & with us & is so proud of us when we do the right thing & disappointed when we don't. When I picked Tyson up after school today, he said that school went really well (which is a first - he really doesn't like school, even though he's a good student. The teachers are taken aback by his maturity & he can't relate to most of the kids). He said that he wasn't afraid of anything because he knew that God was with him today. He also said that he tried to "spread the word", but that nobody believed him. I told him that I was really proud of him & that it takes a lot of guts to do that! He always amazes me...

In other matters, I've decided to hang onto the Jeep, at least through summer so I can enjoy driving around topless (pun intended)! After that, we'll see. I'll probably try to sell it myself so I don't get ripped off in a trade situation.

Also note-worthy: Sarah called & mentioned that she would be going to Vegas during the week of my birthday & I told her I wanted in, so we are planning it! We'll stay at the New York, NY for 3 nights & hopefully catch a show while we're there. This is my BIG 3-0!! I think it will all work out, because I should get a tiny bit back from taxes (after paying for 2 years ago, when we ended up owing!) & it will be during Ty's Spring Break, so Seth can have him for the few days I'll be gone.

Other than that, I do have a couple of candle parties coming up this week & had a message from one of the ladies I back up for transcription to help out, which is actually just in time, since my docs will both be going to a 2-week seminar this month & I'll have free time & less $$! My F/T job has been driving me insane, but I won't go into that here (I've read about people who got fired for writing about their work on their blogs!)...I just try to do my job & go home. That's all I can do!

Oops! I almost forgot to mention that Tyson had his orchestra concert tonight, in which he did really well, of course. It was his school, combined with the other two elementary schools in Ashland & they have never practiced together! He was one of four bassists & only one of three 4th graders in orchestra out of all three schools! Also, I thought I should post some pics of his Talent Show performance, Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" for your viewing pleasure. Well, it was a nice thought, but it's not letting me & I've tried a bunch of different times. I'll try to post them another time.

Well, it's past my bedtime, so I'm gonna crash - write more soon...

Here I sit, on hold with yet another insurance company...bored out of my skull...why can't I be independently wealthy & work for fun? Well, I only have 35 more years to work if I retire at 65, but who's counting? By then I will have tossed aside my morals to marry an old (dying) geezer with money. (I realize this may come as a surprise to some, but yes, I DO have morals!) Anyway, for fun, here's my Top 10 on Tuesday (a day late):

10 Things You Want, but Don't Need
1) A MAN!!!
2) Let's see...ice cream, cheese cake, frosting, brownies...
3) A really awesome body (which is why I REALLY don't need #2)
4) A really awesome wardrobe to go on that awesome body
5) A recording studio in my fabulous house
6) A hot tub!
7) An old-school VW bug convertible
8) A log cabin &/or a stucco house w/ Spanish tile
9) A vacation!!!
10) A dog...I miss Charlie, our bassett-beagle mix, SOOOO much!

(BTW, has anyone noticed how much I use parentheses?)

After several failed attempts at getting Seth down here to spend some time with Tyson, he finally made it this weekend! He (or should I say his girlfriend?) spoiled Tyson & got a motel room with a water slide & pool & let him decide where to eat dinner, so he chose Red Lobster. He called me at 10:30 p.m. & left a really cute message that he got an "adult dinner" that cost $25 & that he drank Mountain Dew, Code Red & some Root Beer, but assured me that he would brush his teeth really good! I'm so glad Seth finally made an effort - I don't understand why it's so hard for him. Me, I'd be calling every night & begging for time with Tyson! I finally got to meet the 43 y/o girlfriend, who was very nice & I liked the fact that she seemed comfortable with me & not insecure or jealous or whatever. I think it's a little weird that I have no feelings whatsoever in seeing Seth with another woman - it's just a little disconcerting that she's so much older.

Anyway, I had a really fun weekend. On Friday, Tyson went over to his friend, Henry's, & I went out with my gay friend to celebrate his last day at the bank he worked at (where we met). I burned him a CD with the Grease I & II soundtracks on it & he loved it. He is just SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny & we all had a really great time. On Saturday, I cleaned house while waiting for Seth to show up, then debated over whether I should read my book & stay home & maybe do some karaoke by myself or if I should go out. There's a new girl at my work who just moved here from Bend & told me to call her if I ever went out, since she hasn't been out since moving here, so I decided to call her & go out. After a brief detour at Bath & Body Works, we met at a place where they had stand up comedy & left when that got over & went to Lava Lanes, where my friend Frankie was playing with his band. I hadn't seen him since before Christmas, so that was pretty cool. BTW, Kristin's boyfriend came with us & offered to be the designated driver, since he was on-call that night, so I figured I'd take him up on it! So we had a pitcher of beer & listened to music, then Kristin's boyfriend called his old roommate (a cute Peruvian guy) to hang out with us, so when he got there, we headed into Ashland & danced at Kat Wok for the rest of the night. It was really cool, because the roommate has a girlfriend who's in the Peace Corps, so I didn't feel like we were being set up, but it was nice to have someone else there so I wasn't the third wheel. We didn't get wasted, either, so no one was out of control or sick, which is always nice. I stayed the night with Kristin & Loren & woke up the next morning to go to church.

At church, they were having a celebration for the completion of the 40 Days of Purpose campaign we've been doing, complete with a potluck. Then I came home & jumped in the shower & Seth dropped Tyson off & headed back to Gold Beach. Tyson & I finally dug in to his science project that's due on 3/1 & rented "Out of the Blue" with Paul Walker (hot, hot, HOT!!!) & Jessica Alba (who Tyson thinks is hot, too). Pretty good flick & a nice way to end the weekend. Now it's back to the grind. I've scheduled a party for Sunday, then another on the 11th & a combined party for 2 people on the 14th. $$$$$$$$$$$$... Things are settling down, for the most part, though, & I really will get around to emailing everyone eventually! In the meantime, this blog will have to suffice!

Hey! Betcha missed me, huh? I was getting a little nutso there with all the chaos in my life, so I decided to tone it down & not try to do as much, but since making that decision a week ago, I've tried in the process, to make Tyson my priority & actually relax at night with a book or settle in to watch American Idol (helloooooooooo, Acey, baby!!!), therefore not leaving much time for blogging or emailing my far-off friends!

So, let's see....update:
Basketball is over. Baseball tryouts are March 13th & the season will start after that.
I've been doing the Partylite thing & actually sold over $1800 last month, so that qualifies me for an extra 7% bonus over and above the 25% I already make off of those profits, in addition to which, I get the "Infinate reflections" candle holder I've been coveting, plus an extra $25 gift certificate to spend on candles & whatnot. Partylite has been good to me! I've made up my mind that I'm not going to bust my ass trying to get the free trip to Aruba. Crazy as it sounds, it's just not worth it. I'll do enough parties each month so that I can bonus & make a little extra, but not so much that I'm losing quality time with Tyson.

I've decided to keep the jeep for a while & get some equity into it; I've not had great success with my attempts to trade it in for a more responsible vehicle. I know I'll be glad to have it this summer.

Still absolutely nada in the love/relationship/guy dept., but most days I'm cool with that & even a little grateful. (Other days, I feel completely undesirable & wonder what the heck is wrong with me!)

Before ending this post, I should note that my BF's Sarah & Maya, along w/ their mom, Phyllis, were on today's Ellen Degeneres Show! They were in the audience, of course, but hey, they were on national TV! Pretty cool stuff!

Just finished up four tapes of transcription after doing my first candle party on my own tonight (total sales tonight: $976.75, for this week: $1,066.45!!!) so I'm pretty beat, but wanted to share some pics that I just got back, as promised, of the new 'do & the jeep:

Alas, the flurry of activity that surrounds my life, much like standing in the midst of a cyclone, has settled (if only temporarily)! Therefore, I shall grace my avid blog-readers with some of my prose...

Okay, I'll quit being pretentious...I was trying to find a way to slip in the word "plethura", since it's just a really cool word, but I think you get the point.

So, the latest & greatest: First of all, I can't believe that I haven't yet blogged about what a great basketball player Tyson is! He's having such a blast & he stands out as one of the top players on his team! I am so impressed by his ball-handling and shooting skills. It's nice, too, that his coaches are laid back & not very competitive, while still teaching the boys how to play well. Our team is "The Squirrels", which I thought was pretty funny until I heard of another team called "The Melonheads". After such hardcore Pop Warner & Little League, the YMCA sports are just plain fun.

I also should let y'all know that I did take the Jeep out & had to use the 4-wheel drive a couple of weekends ago. It was a lot of fun & I took pics that I just sent out yesterday for developing (yep - still using the old-school film!).

Let's see...Brenda came back from her trip & relieved me of all her extra transcription work (which actually turned out to be very profitable!) & was very pleased with my work & the lack of corrections from the docs, so that's always nice to hear!

Also, yesterday afternoon I was at work & received a call from a lady I'd auditioned for a couple of years ago for a musical she wrote. (She had asked me to be the narrator instead, but Seth said that wouldn't be worth my time, so I didn't do it.) She called to ask me if I'd like to do a live reading of an excerpt from a local author's short story at a coffee shop on Sunday. I went by last night & picked up a copy of the material & did a test reading & she was really impressed & told me I had a career if I wanted one...whatever that means. I am considering picking up some reading material to practice to apply for reading books on tape for a place out of Ashland, called Blackstone Audio Books.

The candle thing is going just fine - I really haven't done much more & I have my first party at April's on the 11th. (She's a friend that used to work with me at the Eye Cente.) She's planning to do a Mexican theme with enchiladas & margaritas, so it should be a lot of fun, plus it will be my first show that I get a check for in addition to all the candle credit.

Last but not least, Seth called & apologized for the way he'd talked to me the last time we spoke & I told him that, even though I still didn't feel comfortable with the way things went during Tyson's visit, that Ty & I had talked & I'd agreed to not tell Seth what to do. The bottom line is that if I don't, we really have nothing to argue about. Besides, I have to trust (to some degree) that God chose Seth & I both to be Tyson's parents for a reason & he has something to learn from his dad, be it good or bad. I know that Tyson has a strong enough foundation at home that he won't be easily influenced at his dad's. Tyson was feeling like he was caught in the middle between the two of us, and that's the last thing either of us wanted. So, for now, at least, we are getting along & trying to be the best co-parents we can, for Tyson's sake.

I'm sure I could go on & on, using a plethura of words (hee hee!), but I'd better wrap this up for now & save something for later.

Hello, my long lost friends! I feel like I've been out of the loop for a while, but I'm slowly catching up...For right now, I'm just gonna post my Top Ten on Tuesday & then I'll try to post an update later...Here goes:

10 Favorite Articles of Clothing

1) New z.cavaricci faded jeans with cool rips & patches
2) Tan hooded very heavy coat with fleece lining
3) Tan Lands End boots that go perfect with the coat
4) My staple Levi 501 button-fly jeans
5) My orange v-neck Gap T-shirt
6) Black petite Dockers-very slimming & go with everything!
7) My flannel jammie-pants that have snowmen & say "Snowbody's perfect"
8) My maroon tank-top that has a real bra built in!!
9) My tummy-socker-inner-aka-Bridgett Jones undies
10)My cream-colored satin cami w/ the wide straps so I can wear a bra underneath (but I never get to wear, since it's low cut)

Egads! I just finished the last tape that is due tomorrow, this one being for a doc that I've only done once before, who also has a special format & happens to pay the least! 18 patients on his, alone! This one took me 3.5 hours & I think by the time I got through, it'll average out to roughly $10/hr. That's just a little disheartening! Oh, well, it keeps me in Brenda's good graces, which means she'll keep giving me extra work, and all the other docs are getting really easy now, so the pay/time ratio is much higher. Counting this tape, I did a total of 9 tapes this weekend, plus held my starter show (which topped out at $507 in sales, so that paid for my $350 starter kit, plus gave me a $257 "shopping spree" for more product & brings me to 5,000 points toward the 19,000 needed by March 31 to get an all-expense 5-day trip to Aruba with a flight straight out of Medford! Woo-hoo!! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH to all who attended, purchased or booked a party from mine - or did all three)! Today (after 2 nights of 5 hours of sleep), we got up & went to Hometown Buffet for breakfast (I'm SO hooked on their breakfasts!!) as a reward for Tyson for helping out with 5 little girls, two of which were 21 months old + two 5 y/o & a 7 y/o. He was NOT thrilled to be helping me with that aspect, but he did a great job & complained very little, for him. After stuffing our faces, we went to church, picked up my new license plates for the Jeep, then met with Tracey (my candle leader) and her leader, Vicky to sign all the formal paperwork, etc.

Part of me is glad that this weekend is over, but then again, I wish I could just have my whole weekend back! I just keep telling myself this will all be over soon...Oh, in the meantime, I woke up this morning with no voice & still can hardly croak out any words. I'm hoping I can talk at work tomorrow, but I may just have to let my calls go to voicemail & call them back the next day. I'll be doing payroll in the morning, anyway. Well, I think I've managed to stay up late enough tonight already, so I'm gonna fling myself from this desk chair to my bed in one swift movement on the count of 1.....2......ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Well, so far so good...I did catch Tyson's cold, which progressed into sweats & vomiting last night, but I managed to work until 1pm, then finally gave in & came home for a nap. When I woke up, I did a few tapes, then had to go pick up 5 more in town. I've already done one more & all of these are due on Monday, so I think it'll work out ok. I do still have to clean for the candle party & Tyson has a basketball game tomorrow beforehand. It doesn't help that my garbage disposal backed up & the Drano didn't work. I'm not quite sure what to do yet, but I'm thinking I may have to be Ms. Amateur Plumber sometime tomorrow & open up the pipes under the sink, since I can't call the maintenance guy in, because he might see that I have a cat & I'm not supposed to! Never a dull moment!

Well, I'm off for now to actually sit down & watch a movie with Tyson. He's been so helpful & understanding through all of this. Man, I've got the best kid ever!

I really shouldn't be up right now, but this is my last night before all hell breaks loose & I'm drowning in transcription & candles, so I feel obligated to at least say a temporary goodbye to all of you...so if you check in here & don't see anything new, keep coming back - I'll return to the cyber world before too long!

Back to the craziness of my normal life! I guess that's what I get for complaining of a plateau period...

Tyson started basketball on Tuesday. I know both of his coaches & they're great guys who are less concerned about winning than teaching the boys & giving everyone play time, so I'm thrilled! Tyson's really enjoying this & the schedule is much more convenient than other sports have been, since both of the coaches actually work until 5:00, so practice is from 5:30-6:00 on Tues & Thurs., with games on Saturdays.

So, this Saturday is his first game. I was going to have my candle party afterward, but I've rescheduled it to the following Saturday & it will be my starter show, because I'm going to become a consultant! This means that I'll be earning points toward a trip to Aruba, as well as actual income, along with free stuff & discounts on candles. I'm really hoping I can make it work & not totally burn myself out. I will also be working in the 3-4 y/o classroom at church on Sunday, as I've mentioned before, so I went over the curriculum last night & gasped in horror! I mean, we're talking a real class here, not just babysitting! I think I can handle it, but it will be a lot more work than I initially thought!

On top of all this, I've agreed to do some backup transcription while the regular lady is out of town for four different days & five different docs! This will be the same weekend as my candle party! I'm probably crazy, but it helps to keep busy& extra cash is always nice!

Well, I figured out a solution to my need for spontanaety and change: I got a Jeep Wrangler! I've wanted one ever since I was a kid; then later my dream car was between that & a VW bug convertible. (At one point, I desperately wanted a 'Vette convertible that would be either hot pink, turquoise or a purple body, with a checkered top - thank goodness that was just a phase! Can't tell I was a child of the 80's, can you?)

Anyway, after church today, Tyson & I stopped by a couple of lots & test drove a Jeep & a Dodge Durango. Between the two, we were actually moving in the direction of the Durango, because the Jeep we drove was all jacked up & really tossed us around. I had my reservations about the Durango, though, because of the high miles. The next lot that we pulled into, I just wanted to compare prices on the Durangos, and we know a guy who works there (from Ty's football team), but when I pulled in, I immediately saw a pristine white Jeep Wrangler with a tan soft top. I was thinking that this was a beaut, but would be out of my price range, since I really didn't want to increase my payments beyond what I was already paying on the Honda. It didn't have a list price on it yet, because they had just gotten it in. Well, we talked to Dave & took this baby out for a spin, and I fell in LOVE! First of all, it's a 5-speed, which is a must when you're driving around something like this - I mean, you gotta feel all manly! It ran much smoother than the first one, & the engine idles really nice & smooth, plus, both the interior & exterior are in incredible shape! It's a '98 with only 53 K miles on it. Of course, it has 2 & 4-wheel drive (which I've never used before, but I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later)! I managed to get it for no $$ down, except for what I'll get back from Honda on my warrantee, and my payments will be the same. (They would've been about $20 lower, but I wanted to buy the 3 year warrantee, since it is a little older.) It also came with a really nice Clarion CD player with a removable face plate & a car alarm, which is something I didn't have on my Honda. All of the other Jeeps that I've looked at in the past week have only come with tape decks & no CD player. I just can't wait to be able to take the top off & cruise around! Down the road, I'd like to pick up a little trailer so I can haul stuff if necessary, like the quad that I hope to eventually get, or a little tent trailer/camper. One thing at a time... The only negative (besides the excellent warrantee, gas mileage & resale value of the Honda) is that I had a lot more cab room & trunk space with the car, but the back seat of the Jeep folds down & I can fit Tyson's bass in the back, even though the neck of it extends to between our seats.

This was just what I needed to shake things up & feel new again! Next Saturday, the church is having a snow day up in Greensprings at the Box R Ranch, so that'll be a fun little trip. After playing in the snow, I'm going to host yet another candle party. I know, call me crazy, but I'll tell you what: it's the best way to get great candles & holders etc. for free & for incredible savings! Partylite has a bunch of new stuff, including new scents that just came out. I've been thinking about becoming a consultant...there's no buy-in, and if I could do that & my transcription, I really think I could make around what I do now, with working 8-5 + transcription at night. I'll probably continue to just think about this for now, though, because dangit, I really am responsible, and I know that if I hang in there & stay on track that things will continue to get better.

I'm getting excited about just waking up & driving my Jeep to work tomorrow! I'm such a dork! I'll take some pics soon & post them here so y'all can eat your hearts out!

I figured I'd better post something before I completely lose any audience I may have acquired...

Life is in a plateau zone right now, which is better than it could be, so I'll be grateful for that! I have many great friends, a good job & extra side career, a wonderful family & a sweet, albeit incredibly strange, cat. What more could a girl want, really?

I don't know - I have this underlying feeling lately of needing to break free - ride a roller coaster, eat a hamburger (even though I stopped liking those about 15 years ago) or ride a quad & get dirty. I just feel that I've become so focused on being a good parent, a responsible person, keeping everything organized, clean & just so, that I've strayed too far from the spontaneous, loud, trusting, grubby country girl that I used to be. Not that I want to have a crazy, dirty, disorganized life; I've become quite comfortable in my sane zone, but I think that I need to have a release of some sort to help me remember who I started out as & to know that it's okay that I still have some of that in me somewhere. Maybe this won't make any sense to you, but it's very real to me. I just don't know what I'll do about it yet. Of course, my spontaneous escape from my everyday reality will have to be meticulously planned, so that I can maintain the balance that I've fought so hard to keep.

Maybe I just need to have a day/night out without Tyson...I love that kid with every fiber of my being, but it's not good for either of us to spend so much time with eachother & no one else. He's getting way too used to having me all to himself. Sometimes I feel just a little suffocated by him; for instance, if I try to read my email, he's right there looking over my shoulder & gets his feelings hurt or gets suspicious when I ask him to leave my room so I can check my email or write in private. I know it's irrational, but I feel guilty about it, too! But, you know, if I wanted to complain about something Seth did, like in my previous blogs, or write about it to a friend, that's not something I want Tyson to see. At the same time, if I can't express my frustrations to others, how am I supposed to deal with it?

Anyway, enough whining...off to church tomorrow morning, where I'll be given my curriculum for the 3-4 y/o childrens' class I'll be starting to help with on the 15th. I'm really excited about the opportunity, if a little apprehensive.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2005 wasn't nearly as bad as I'd figured it would be, and I just know that 2006 will be even better! I've given up on resolutions long ago, as they tend to be just another way to feel guilty about all the things you know you should be doing, but aren't (or maybe, the things you are doing that you know you shouldn't be)!

This was a very relaxing weekend - we did the usual clearing out of Christmas stuff, and I went after Christmas shopping, which I probably shouldn't have done, because I spent entirely too much money at Bath & Body Works, but what was I supposed to do in the face of 50-75% off sales? I really had no choice! I also scored on a great area rug & picture for the living room, so I did some redecorating. I've been perusing this Trading Spaces book that Robbin gave me for Christmas, and it really gets me going! The picture is actually a painting on canvas in black, with a spotlight on a trumpet player sittig on a stool. I don't know the correct term for it, but he's made out of some sort of material that stands out from the canvas, all 3-D like. Really cool stuff!

Anyway, today is the last day to veg before our work & school week start again, so we're taking full advantage. As a matter of fact, I'm typing this naked! Just kidding! Wanted to see if you're really paying attention...But I am in my PJ's and have no desire to do anything about it! Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas & a safe & fun New Year.