I'll begin this post with saying that Tyson & I had a wonderful Christmas & enjoyed the Christmas Eve service at Applegate Christian Fellowship very much! We were invited by my good friend, Denise. We arrived in a fantastic winter wonderland in the middle of nowhere! They had hundreds of thousands of lights in every tree & bush, plus white & red poinsettas strategically placed & decorating the main stage, next to which was a gigantic bonfire, about 8-9 feet high! They had a formal choir in robes & did a gospel-choir type thing with Christmas carols & several different soloists.

On Christmas morning, Tyson was very excited to see that his two biggest (literally!) gifts were from Santa - a coffin guitar case & a fender guitar stool that he'd been looking at in his Musician's Friend catalog. We both thoroughly enjoyed all of our gifts & eachother's company all morning, then went to Denise's house for Christmas dinner with her & her daughter & hubby. We sat around playing spoons & movie trivia games & had a good time.

Now then, let me vent about the screwy things that happened with Seth! So, Tyson went Christmas shopping for me with his Grandma Robbin on Saturday. Seth was coming into town with his girlfriend for a Christmas party at his sister's, so it made sense for Robbin to just take Tyson over to his Aunt's house to meet his dad, then go home with him over on the coast for a few days. When we made these plans, I made it very clear to Seth that I thought enough time had passed that it would be ok for Tyson to meet his girlfriend, but I asked him to sleep with Tyson while he was visiting, since I didn't think it would be appropriate or comfortable for him to see them going to bed or waking up together. He agreed that this would be fine. I also asked, since Seth doesn't have a phone, that Tyson give me a quick call every night to tell me goodnight & just check in so I knew everything was going alright. I didn't hear from Seth until Tuesday, when he called me from the bar next door to his place, to let me know that he didn't know how Tyson was getting home, but thought he'd send him home with his brother (interjection: the ex-con scam artist/theif/druggie/alcoholic/dealer who doesn't like kids & has demonstrated sadistic tendencies all of Seth's life, not to mention stole Seth's identity on three different occasions, which resulted in suspension of his license!). I said HELL NO!! I told him that I couldn't take any time off of work, but if he'd keep Tyson until Friday, that I'd drive up there & get him myself after work (7 hour round trip)! He then had the balls to say that driving one way was the least I could do. That got me really steamed, so I told him that I made Tyson readily available to him & that it was his choice to not call or visit, and that he has to make that effort. I finally got to talk to Tyson the next day, but then Seth called me Friday morning & when I asked him why they hadn't called me the previous night, he said that his mom said she didn't have time to take Tyson to a phone. He then said that he thought it was ridiculous that I wanted him to call every night, anyway, and I told him what was ridiculous is that I'd talked to my son once in six days & that it didn't matter if he thought it was ridiculous; it was what I'd asked, and it wouldn't even be such a big issue if he had a phone & I could reach Tyson in the first place! Anyway, Seth was calling to let me know that I'd need to stop by his sister's place in Medford to pick up some of the presents that Tyson had gotten me, since they forgot some there & told me that he'd called ahead & Traci had reassured him that the bag was right there. I stopped by on my way out of town, but no one was home except for their 10 year old daughter, who knew nothing about the bag of presents. By the time that Tyson & I got back to town that night, it was 10:45, much too late to drop by. So I told Tyson that it was no biggie & I'd just get them after Christmas, since I really didn't want to bug them on Christmas Eve, which was the next day, but he insisted that the majority of what he got me was what got left behind & I had to get them. So I called first thing in the morning & left a message at Traci's, asking to please call me back & let me know when it would be convenient for them for us to stop by & pcik those up. I finally got a call back at 3pm from Traci, acting all put out & imposed upon, saying that she didn't have the presents & knew nothing about them. I told her that Seth had told me he called her to make sure they were there & she said he never called her. Long story short, I still don't have the presents & have no idea what happened to them. What pisses me off most is that Robbin told me he knew exactly where he wanted to go & what he wanted to get me & got some great deals & ended up with exactly 50 cents change. All that time, effort & thought (not to mention my damn money!) and someone takes that away from him.

To make matters worse, Tyson tells me that Seth & his girlfriend got a motel room & he stayed with this aunt that first night, then Seth asked Tyson if it would bother him if he slept with his girlfriend for the duration of his stay, to which Tyson of course said no, he didn't mind - what else could he say?!? As bad as this was, that he'd deliberately disregard what I'd asked him not to do & putting Tyson on the spot, this meant that Tyson had to share a room (used to be his; now belongs to Seth's girlfriend's daughter) with a six year old girl! Tyson said that they were told to take turns sleeping on the floor or the bed, but since she was just a little girl, he gave her the bed every night. Not only is this not ok that he had to give up his bedroom and didn't have a bed to sleep on, it is completely inappropriate for him to be sharing a room with a six year old girl! I am so furious I wouldn't be surprised to see steam coming out of my ears as I type this! So, now how to proceed? I realize that it's not illegal for Seth to sleep with this girlfriend when Tyson's over, but he did directly go against my request & in the interrim, put Tyson in a compromising situation. The correct thing to do would have been for Seth to sleep with Tyson & have Sherry sleep with her daughter, which is what I specifically asked him to do! The thing is, I don't want Tyson to get in trouble for telling me what happened or put Seth in defensive mode, to where he asks Tyson to lie to me & puts him in a bad position, but I don't feel right about not recongizing the fact that nothing went as we'd discussed: I spoke to Tyson once instead of every night. I had to go pick him up myself. Then the sleeping arrangements. So I think I'm going to approach the subject by asking him & telling him that I didn't want to ask Tyson (which I didn't - he brought it up to me), so I'm asking him. Then, if he tries lying to me, I'll call him out on it & say that something Tyson said clued me in on it...I want to strangle him right now!

PHEW!! What a whirlwind it's been since I last posted! I guess it's that slightly frantic time of year for everyone, though, which is probablywhy I haven't had anybody whining that I never blog anymore!

Let's see...I've taken on even more at work (despite my emphatic protests!) and have been doing tons of transcription in Tyson's absence...he's at his dad's until Friday, which is a whole other story that I'm not even sure I have the energy or inclination to write about, but I will say that I finally let him have it a little bit today...I'm all ready for Christmas! All of my cards & presents have been bought & sent, which is a wonderful feeling! Tonight I'll do some baking (during which I intend to drink myself silly & rock out to some loud music to blow off some steam) & tomorrow we do our "Secret Santas" at work. I'm really excited, because I know mine pretty well & burned three CD's in addition to some other stuff (like her favorite cookies that I'll be baking tonight). I did a Parodies CD, an Adam Sandler movie songs & quotes & an 80'2 hair band ballads CD. I think she'll really dig 'em.

Anyway, work is screaming my name again, so all for now...AAAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrgh!!!

So I have big plans to get stuff taken care of this weekend! Other than some things for Tyson, I only have one more present to get. I finally found my address book so I can send out Christmas cards. I'm making some CDs for my Secret Santa at work, so that will be all taken care of, along with the candles I ordered from the candle party.

Tomorrow after church, we are going to Robbin's (Tyson's surrogate G'ma) for a luncheon & white elephant gift exchange. She goes all out & thinks of all the little details, so I'm sure it will be awesome.

I'm reading Mary Higgins Clark's new book "No Place Like Home" to kill some time until I reach the top of the reserve lists for Diana Gabaldon's newest book in the Outlander series, "Snow & Ashes" (I started at #80 & am now down to something like 48) and Dean Koontz's new sequel to "Odd Thomas", "Forever Odd". I love it when my favorite authors come out with new material. It's like reaquanting yourself with an old friend...

I am so disgusted! I know I totally shouldn't be surprised, and really I'm not, but still...

Seth finally called for the first time since Thanksgiving, whining about being sick as his excuse for not calling like he's supposed to on Mondays (or any other frickin' night of the week or weekend, for that matter)! I told him he could tell it to Tyson. First thing Tyson says when he picks up the phone is, "Why haven't you been calling, Dad?" Rest assured I do not point this out & I only talk to Tyson about it if he brings it up, but he has been asking & I just tell him I don't know, because I refuse to make excuses for him. After he talked to Tyson, Seth & I talked so we could go over Christmas details & such, and he informed me that he will be moving in with his new 42-year-old girlfriend, so when Tyson comes to stay a few days over Christmas break, he'll be staying there & have to share his dad's attention, not to mention that he won't have his own room. I insisted that Seth sleep with Tyson while he's there, because as much as Tyson says he wants us to date other people, he hasn't dealt with the reality, and I don't want him to see them going to bed together at night or waking up together in the morning. Why is Seth such a jack-ass? I don't really care if he wants to sleep around (as long as he doesn't expose Tyson to this) but this will be the second woman he's moved in with in the first year (technically six months) since our divorce! Yuck!

The candle party was a smashing success! We did get a late start, since the candle rep was just returning from a trip to Eugene, so the party lasted until 11pm! I can't wait to get the stuff I ordered!

On Sunday, Tyson and I went to church, then out to breakfast at Witham's Truck Stop (that brought back some memories!), where they were having a 40 year anniversary special & had all of their prices lowered to what they were 40 years ago! We're talking $.10 for a cup of coffee! So we ordered a french toast breakfast for each of us, in addition to ham & eggs with hash browns & toast, plus a soda for Ty, a coffee for me, and a pancake, egg & sausage breakfast to take home for Tyson to have this morning, and we paid all of $4.90! We sat at the counter, and we each spoke to some really interesting people. Tyson had two old ladies next to him, one of whom kept teasing him about how yummy his ham looked. When they left, one of them gave Tyson a $5 bill & told him that he was a really nice kid. The guy I sat next to was a truck driver who is one of 20 boys and 3 girls, all by the same father, who died two years ago at age 110! Afterward, we went Christmas shopping at the mall & entered a bunch of contests, then headed home to chill out for the rest of the evening & played a couple of games of chess (I won once, & Tyson won once!) I went to bed with Tyson at 8:30, and I still woke up tired, although I do have a little more energy than I did last week.

BTW, Kathy, I'm sorry I keep missing your calls!

I figured I'd muster up the little energy I have these days for a quick post...

Tyson & I did go to the open mic Thursday night & met my friend, Susan, there. It was a school night, so we didn't stay really long, but did hang out long enough to catch some pretty good performances. We haven't figured out what we're going to do up there yet, but we do plan to go back.

Yesterday, I left work early & went home to sleep. I had to get up to pick Tyson up from school, and we dropped by the university so I could talk to some people about placement tests & just how the whole thing works. I was incredibly discouraged by the answers that I got regarding financial aid. I guess they go by your previous year's tax returns, and on paper my income looks pretty good (not to mention that Seth & I both worked & filed together last year). They don't take into account the fact that I would only be working part-time if I were to enroll as a full-time student. I'm not sure what to do from here...

I just couldn't bring myself to go be an extra for the movie today, as much as I have always wanted to do something like that. Instead, I got up with Tyson & made my weekend breakfast of eggs & fried potatoes, cleaned house & did some laundry, then came into town to put in some hours at the Women's Clinic. I'm going to have a candle party tonight at my apartment. It will be a very small, intimate group, consisting of (I think): Twyla & Krista & Susan, Misty & Lisa from work. It will be nice to have some company over for a change, and the candles always make your house smell great! When I socialize, I usually go somewhere, but I do like playing hostess. Tomorrow we'll go out to church, then go Christmas shopping. Anyway, there's the latest. I'll slowly,but surely, be posting more as I rejoin the land of the living...

I'm ba-aaaack.....
Sorry I haven't posted in so long (or written to any of you, for that matter! It's really not personal)! I have been totally exhausted since my trip to Eureka.
Thanksgiving was not restful, but definitely enjoyable! I got to spend some quality time with my dad and my niece, Mary, and very little time with my brothers & my mom. We managed to pull off the "First-ever Adams Family Thanksgiving Breakfast" & had all the fixings ready to go by 11:00, which my dad thought would be impossible. My sister, Kathy, called from AZ, where she was having to deal with her monster-in-law being a total snob about her Thanksgiving plans to eat at the local buffet restaurant, even though they're living in a camper until their house is built. I know she really wanted to be with us, and I really wanted her there, too...she stayed on the phone for quite a while, though, and was passed around so she could "visit" with everyone. It seemed a little quiet this year. The only "kids" there were John, Mary & Joey (and they're 18, 16 and 12, or something like that). I really enjoyed seeing everyone, though, and my dad & I went to see Walk the Line on Friday. The theater was so packed that we weren't able to sit together, but we both thought it was one of the best movies we'd ever seen. I'm planning to take Tyson to watch it, too. On Thursday night, after my sister Laura got off work, we jammed out down in the basement with her husband, Mark, who plays the electric bass, and Mary. Unbeknownst to Laura and myself, Mark had set up a recording device before he & Mary had gone upstairs, and of course, at this point, Laura and I were getting a little goofy & making up our own words and such. I haven't heard it yet, and I'm not sure I really want to...Over at my brother Carey's (aka Allen), I video-taped him and my dad singing & playing guitar in his "studio" in the back room. I'm so glad that I finally got them on tape! Tyson said Uncle Allen should be famous & that Grandpa Charlie is "really good for an old guy". (LOL!)

When I showed up to pick Tyson up on Saturday, Seth & his mom were just pulling out of the driveway to head to Gold Beach. It was really good to see Tyson again. Time away from eachother always makes us appreciate how special our relationship is. Seth was supposed to call on Monday, but didn't again, and I think Tyson is really starting to get angry with him, which sucks, because just as my mom had said, he then starts to feel guilty about being angry with his dad. When (and if) Seth calls again, I'm going to tell him what I think of him not calling. I won't include Tyson's feelings in the conversation, but I can tell him what I feel, that's for sure! I just don't see how anyone could turn away from Tyson after knowing what a great kid he is! He just got an award at school yesterday for his sense of humor. Tonight we're planning to go to an all-ages open mic at A St. Marketplace and tomorrow we might end up going to the kids' night at the church, then on Saturday I'm supposed to be an extra in a movie they're making here, Conversations With God. We'll see how many of those things we actually do... Well, they're watching us like a hawk here at work, so I'd better end this for now. I just can't bring myself to post from home these days - I've been so wiped out! Eventually I'll catch up, though, and email all of you that I've been neglecting!

I have to share a funny from this morning: Seth called to talk about the plans for Thanksgiving, and he finished one of his sentences with "Babe". I said, "Did you just call me Babe? You can't call me that anymore!" We both had a good chuckle over that. Anyway, here's my Top 10 on Tuesday:

10 Things You Like Eating at Thanksgiving Dinner
1) Well, turkey, of course! (White meat only)
2) Olives (one for each finger)
3) Mashed potatoes and gravy (no giblet gravy, Mom, pleeeeaase!)
4) Pumkin pie w/ whip cream
5) My dad's banana pudding with Nilla wafers
6) Apple pie (preferably Dutch apple)
7) Fruit salad with mini marshmallows - no walnuts!
8) Ham
9) Deviled eggs
10) Hmmm...other miscellaneous pies?

I've been shirking my duties as a responsible journalist for a whole week, so I suppose it's time to bite the bullet & do the whole "this is what I've been doing" thing...

So, this is what I've been doing:
Monday: All I remember now is watching Prison Break (I just can't get enough!) Oh - I also went to the music store & picked up a guitar string for Tyson's electric guitar & learned how to string it. Got invited to an open mic on Thursday by a guy who works there.
Tuesday: Worked & probably did transcription like the mad woman I've become. Also went to Applebee's for kids' $.99 night; a tad disappointing. Traded in Ty's old Nintendo for a Gamecube game.
Wednesday: More work, more transcription...
Thursday: Tyson wanted to skip the open mic & stay home to play his video game. More work...after watching Reunion, of course!
Friday: After work, Ty & I went back to the music store & played with different instruments (including an electric upright bass, that I'd love to get him, instead of the big old thing he has to lug around). The guy from the store said he was waiting for me to show up Thurusday at the open mic, but I told him he lost out to video games, which he in turn called "The Devil's Box". Rented two movies & fell asleep before the first one even started.
Saturday: Had some friends of Tyson's over & went to see Sophie's play with Susan. She was incredible! I'll be able to say "I knew her when..." Rented Stealth & bought Dodgeball (My Vinnie-baby!!! XOXO)& watched both.
Sunday: Went to the 11:00 church service & the Thanksgiving potluck afterward, then went across the street to see Harry Potter "The Goblet of Fire". Awesome movie! (Very looooooooonng, though.)
Then I got up this morning to do it all again! Actually, this will be a very short week. I get off 1/2 day on Wednesday & am going to lunch with a new co-worker at Senor Sam's, then to pick up Tyson from school. I just got a message from Seth this afternoon (WHY can't he call when he is supposed to?!?) that the plans have changed again & that his mom will be working until 3pm, then leaving to go pick him up in Gold Beach (WHY can't he get his license?!?), where they will stay the night before traveling back here for Thanksgiving. This means that now, even though I took a 1/2 day off of work, I can't leave until after 3pm to drive the 5 hours to Eureka! Grrrr....On the up-side, I picked up two new karoake CD's last night for the trip. One with old country hits, including "The Gambler", "Elvira", "On the Road Again", "Crazy", & two Johnny Cash songs. The other has all kinds of music on it & should have something for everyone. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone.

Well, I suppose I should free up the phone line on the highly unlikely chance that Seth is going to call back at the scheduled time...

At long last, here are the Halloween pics! I have to say I'm a little disappointed because you really can't see the detail that I added to my dress (by hand-sewing, nonetheless!) or make out my head-piece, but still, you get the point. I've also thrown in a picture of our spastic kitty, Domino, since I promised that in August, when we first got him!

Been super busy working (transcription) and haven't had much time for anything else. So, as much as the men have been pestering me with phone calls, flowers and such, I've been having to decline their many offers...We did manage to go to church Sunday, which makes two weeks in a row! Tyson just about flipped when one of the band members started totally wailing on the electric guitar & people were bouncing up & down like a mosh pit (without the moshing). Next week there will be a potluck afterward. I'm looking into becoming involved in the children's Christmas performance, but there's a 4 hour class I have to take first, and it's on the same day as my friend Susan's daughter, Sophie, is performing the lead in a play here in Ashland, so I think I'm going to see if they offer the class another time. I don't get to do a lot with Susan outside of work, and I adore Sophie! Anyway, that's the latest...still looking forward to Turkey Day in Eureka!

My docs have been absolutely killing me with transcription! I've gotten pretty good with these guys, because I do their stuff consistently and they use a lot of the same wordage for different patients, but one tape actually took me 2 1/2 hours last night, and since I just had to watch My Name is Earl, that meant I didn't get to bed until 12:15! (Considering that a letter on one patient usually takes me 5-10 minutes, that's a lot of dictating!) It sure will be nice to get paid, though...

I've been having a lot of fun flirting with the delivery guy at work (and the cutie pie at Dutch Bros., and one of our sales reps....) and one of the ladies at the front desk asked him if he found me attractive, and he supposedly said yes (woo-hoo! I think he's pretty normal, too!), but that he's waiting for a girl that he loves to come around. I told him that works out even better, since I'm holding out for my Mr. R., too, so maybe we could be friends who do things together to kill the time while we wait...hey, it might actually work better than dating, since that's not something I really look forward to trying...anyway, we'll see if he takes me up on it. I took a pic of him yesterday, since I'm trying to use up my roll of film with the Halloween pics so I can post them!

Looks like Dad's and my Hometown Buffet Thanksgiving fantasy has been thwarted...I do love the family get-togethers, though, and it's been a while since I was in Eureka. I think I'll bring my karoake machine so we can all jam. It just won't be the same without Kathy there, though (no offense, Laura, I'd just love it if we could all be there)! I'm sure I'll be posting more on that before too long.

Still planning to go to church Sunday & am looking forward to getting to know more people there, so I'll be more comfortable. Krista says they're always looking for musicians, and that would be really awesome. I just feel like it's so important to not only talk to Tyson about God & the Bible, but to expose him to worshipping with others before he gets too much older. He asked me on the way back from church last weekend if I was going to be all religious now, and I replied that I've always been a very religious person, but he just didn't see that side of me a lot, and that I'd still be my same fun self. My beautiful friend, Mahvelous Mahge, taught me that you can talk nasty & have a good time, but still have a close relationship with God. I figure He knows me better than anyone else, so if I tried to hide my true self, that would be pretty pointless.

Well, I'm gonna try to actually get to sleep at a decent time since I'm all done with my transcription for tonight, so signing off until next time...

Quick post - I can't believe it's almost midnight! I had three transcription tapes tonight, and I decided to leave one for tomorrow, after seeing how far into the tape the doc recorded...ugh! But, hey, it's all about the money, right?!? What doesn't kill me makes me more tired...

Anyway, I just had to brag on my boy for a sec - what else is new? I'm just so proud of him! He got 98% on his state report! (Missed one thing in the whole report, just because he forgot to fill in the population of the tops 5 cities.) He also got 100% on his spelling test, now that we're able to study the words, and he got an A- on his "What I Did This Summer" report. I know this year has been tough on him, because he's in the 4th/5th blended class, but he's really rising to the challenge & making his mama proud! And he's made friends with a lot of the 5th graders that he used to not get along with! I could just burst, really!

A Medford Cowboys' running back looks for a hole to run through as Ashland Bears, from left, Jared Cataldi, Jamie Flynn and Tyson Morris converge.(Tyson's #42.)
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Football season is over - we went to the season-end party last night & got trophies & that kind of thing. I'm totally leaving it up to Tyson if he wants to do it again next year - he felt a little overlooked this season, but he was a 9-year-old playing with 10,11 and 12 year-olds.

Went to church this morning out in White City with Krista & Dustin. It's the second time I've gone there, but Tyson's first. He really liked the music & was very responsive to the sermon. I'm planning to keep going every weekend now that we don't have football every Sunday.

I'm going to look into talking to the admissions office at SOU. It's something I've been putting off forever, and as crazy as my life is, I think I really need some intellectual stimulation - something to bring me outside of myself & to help me quit reflecting on how pitiful my love life is & something outside of Tyson, as much as I love doing things with & for him. So, we'll see where that goes, anyway. Nothing else to report, so I'm going to get some work done at Lithia Women's Care. Hopefully I'll be posting Halloween pics soon...

Alas, the time has come for the infamous posting of the "Mr. Wrong" list. Let it be known that I have taken the research for this blog post very seriously & spent basically the last 29 years of my life compliling this list...

Mr. Wrong...
...has no sense of humor
...doesn't believe in God
...believes the only way to show affection is gettin' freaky
...is insecure
...hates kids, animals & old people
...wants to control the way I look, eat, speak, dress, act & think
...doesn't like my friends & family, and they return the sentiment
...is not bright
...is a gorgeous, but vain, man-whore (yep, that one broke my heart the first time)
...hates road trips
...can't hold down a job
...gambles, is a pot-head, or is otherwise addicted
...doesn't like music
...is a liar and a smooth talker
...is city boy
...doesn't like to play sports
...isn't a gentelman and doesn't have manners
...doesn't keep his word
...expects my life to revolve around him & his plans (or lack thereof)
...is a pushover & doesn't speak his mind
...feels like the world owes him something

Ok, you asked for it! I just happened to post this on one of my pissy days. You see, people think I'm totally nuts for wanting to hold out for a guy that's unavailable & who probably doesn't reciprocate my feelings. And, although I'fve always prided myself on not listening to eveyone else, look where that got me last time! Maybe it's time I listen to the people who care about me, because they can see things more clearly than I can. But what are my options in the meantime? The freaky 60+ year old tamale guy? The 60+ year old tennis stalker? The ??+ Vietnam Vet with PTSD? Or better yet, the icky car salesman (again 50-60+)? I mean, it's not like I'm really getting asked out by any prospects I'd actually consider; why not at least convince myself it's ok, because I'm holding out for the best? But, I've been thinking about "fate" or "destiny" and "soul mates". And I think I'm probably the only person I know who actually believes these things exist. And maybe I'm the one who's wrong. It's just that I have settled too many times & for too long to accept anything less anymore. So I guess it's just me, my kid and my cat. I should probably get like 40 more cats so it'll be official. Anyway, I have to go finish watching Reunion so I can live vicariously through others, who hopefully have a Hollywood ending...

I'm back on the wagon again - abstaining from men, that is...something came up that has convinced me that I should go with my gut & hold out for the man that I really wanted from the start (no, we will not name names or discuss the circumstances).

If I am patient (yeah, I know, nearly impossible for me, but he's worth it!), eventually the same force that keeps almost bringing us together will deliver him to me, and I want to be available this time when the opportunity presents itself! In the meantime, I'm saving myself from being hurt & disappointed by meaningless relationships that don't measure up to my idea of what our future could be together. I just don't see how that could be a bad thing. The only down-side to holding onto this dream of the two of us being soul-mates & living happily ever after is that, for now, he's completely unaccessible, and that makes me really sad. But, if it really is meant to be (which is what I believe in my heart), then he will seek me out when he's ready. I've made it very easy for him to find me, so from here on out, that's all I can really do. Who knows, maybe he doesn't even want to be in touch with me, or maybe he only sees me as a friend. I'm willing to wait & see...

Ok, enough romantic daydreaming...quick update on la vida loca: Tyson & I were up till 9:30 last night completing his state report that was due today. Thank goodness that's over with! I think he'll get a really good grade on it, though. He brought home a bunch of school work yesterday, and he's been doing more extra credit & getting straight A's except for the last couple of spelling tests, which he wasn't able to study for because he kept forgetting to being the lists home. Now that I can get the list online, we've been studying & I have no doubt that he'll get 100% from here on out. Last night after football practice, we stopped by Seth's dad's for a few minutes (first time since the divorce & actually a while before that even), because Phil had to put his 15 year old Golden Retriever, Buddy, to sleep. Buddy was totally a family member (one of the few I really got along with)! He would hug & howl "I love you" on command, as well as every other trick in the book. Rest in peace, Buddy. Tyson's playoff game against the Crater Comets is this Sunday. If we win, we move on, and if not, the season's over. He wants to do basketball, and I want him to have the opportunity to try, but dangit, I'm ready for a break, and I think he needs one too! I'll probably put in a couple hours at Lithia Women's Care this weekend & carve some pumpkins, but other than that & football, I'm going to relax as much as possible! Can't wait for Halloween - I'll post pics of me & Tyson in costume afterward.

Today I was feeling a tad frazzled, especially once Tyson called me (15 minutes before football practice) at work to tell me that he forgot his practice pants & cleats at school & coach was totally gonna kill him. (He ended up having to run around the goal posts 11 times, up & down the length of the field.) Last night he told me that he brought home extra credit so that he could make up for the homework assignments that he hasn't gotten! Uh, hellooooooo...? So we've been busting our chops to make sure that he studies for his spelling (thank goodness his teacher finally posted them online for us, since he'd forgotten the list three weeks in a row & had to take the tests cold-turkey!), practices his bass, does research & writes his state report (due two days from tomorrow!) that is 25 pages long, and reads for a minimum of 1/2 an hour for a book report that's due on the 4th. All this and football practice three times a week for two hours at a time! Yikes! I told him when I picked him up from practice today (BTW, I called his teacher & arranged to pick up the gear, then drove it to practice for him, across town, before coming home to do three transcription tapes before I picked him up at 6:30) that, no, we didn't have time for a movie, or dinner for that matter...Yes, I was joking - being the extremely awesome multi-tasking mother that I strive to be, I prepared a nice meal of salmon, mashed potatoes & green beans while he was in the tub. Just as I was writing this, I realized that I never ate - oops!

Seth didn't call like he was supposed to last night (we've arranged an 8:00 call on Mondays so we can guarantee we'll touch base - he still hasn't gotten a freakin' phone!). We still didn't hear from him again tonight, although I didn't mention that to Tyson, of course. I need to talk to him so we can figure out what the plan is for Thanksgiving, although, knowing him, he'll bail at the last minute, which would be fine with me if it weren't for Tyson's disappointment. More time with the greatest kid in the world for me!

I found myself sending up a little prayer this evening on the way home from practice that was like something out of Fiddler on the Roof: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...for Yentil, make him a scholar, for Mama, make him rich as a king, for me, well, I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything..." Except for mine went, "Ok, Lord, I think I'm ready for my the perfect man for me & Tyson to come along, and could you please make him rich so I don't have to struggle quite so hard anymore?" (I know, not quite as catchy, huh?)Not to indulge completely in self-pity, but I feel like I've done without, been through enough bad relationships & generally gone through enough crap to have built some character. Enough character, already, done with that & ready to reap the rewards now, thank you very much...Ok, somebody call the waaaaaaaambulance....

Soooo glad to be starting a new week! Last week completely sucked & I was dragging from having a cold, which carried over into the weekend. Ty & I folded out the futon & watched movies Friday & Saturday nights.

Yesterday, Tyson had his last football game of the season against the only team we've lost to in the last two years. As it turns out, his cousin (on his dad's side) was on the opposing team, literally facing him on the line, so it was all that much better when we beat 'em! This means that we'll be facing the Crater Comets in the top lineup of the playoffs, and they're the only team that we lost to this year. Let's hope the boys see it as an opportunity to even things up, rather than let that intimidate them. Since I had to drop Tyson off 1 1/4 hours early for the game in Eagle Point, I drove over to Krista & Dustin's to say hi. Their whole family had the flu except Dustin, since he's been working out of town again, but guess what?!? Our prayers were answered, and he has passed his test to become an independent plumbing contractor, so he can do whatever he wants now! I'm really happy for them; it couldn't happen to better people! After the game, Tyson went to visit with his friend, Luc, who had a birthday party that Tyson had to miss because of football. When I dropped him off, Lily's dad was there dropping her off. We'd met before & played tennis with his girls against me & Tyson & had a great time. But, wouldn't you know it, single dad up & got remarried, of course! Oh well.....

Fell asleep during the movie last night, slept in till 8:30, read until 12:30 (with a break to make Tyson breakfast) & took a nap until 4pm. Woke up feeling a lot better! I really wanted to go for a bike ride; it was such a beautiful day, but let Tyson talk me into going out to eat. We were going to see a movie, but there's just nothing that looked good to either of us, so we went to Cold Stone Creamery (dang, that's some good ice cream!) & came home.

I finally get the book shelf painted for Tyson's room & did a couple of transcription tapes tonight. It is truly amazing that this mundane life of mine can seem so hectic at times...

Well, it's been almost a whole week since my last post, so I figured I owe it to my (growing) audience to continue to chronicle the life & times of me...

Let's see, as y'all know, I left for Portland after Tyson's game on Saturday (which they lost by a touchdown & an extra point, bringing our boys their first loss & making their record 5-1 now. Coach & I both agree that one loss is good for character, but that we can't get any more...). I didn't get up there until 6:30, then managed to be in the wrong lane at a critical point in the directions once I got into town & was completely lost! I finally did the female thing & asked for directions, arriving at Sarah's mom's place at 7pm. Sarah came running out to greet me, with Isabella in her arms. Isabella is just over a year old now & kept saying my name over & over. I thought it was really sweet that Sarah had taught her to say it. Ethan just turned four & remembered me from my visit last summer. These are some cute kids! They're also very smart! Everyone was surprised at how quickly Isabella took to me, which made me feel super special, of course!

The plan was to go to the Tavern around the corner & hang out. I told Sarah that if I could only see her one night in a year, I planned to stay up & hang out all night! Well...we had a few drinks & I'm just not the partier I used to be. I was puking by 12:30. So much for my all-nighter! Sarah, of course, was busy taking pictures of me the whole time! I finally passsed out & was woken up by Isabella the next morning. She was sitting up in the dark babbling and playing. She came over & crawled into bed with me & showed me her "bracelet" (a jar ring). It's a good thing she woke me up, because Sarah had forgotten to set her alarm for the walk!

I got up & was getting ready, and Sarah told me that no one would think any less of me if I didn't go to the walk, so I didn't go. Hah! Gotcha! I just smiled & said that I knew that, while thinking to myself that I wasn't doing this for anyone else but Shannon. I got to the World Trade Center (on time!), where the walk began & got registered & had some coffee. I just kinda sat there by myself until the speakers did their announcements & we began the walk. I felt a little silly, but I picked up a sign to carry around advertising a website for suicide prevention. A young woman & her mom struck up a conversation with me & asked me who I was walking in memory of, so I told them my story & they shared theirs with me. This girl had lost her dad & a close friend within 3 weeks of eachother. Her mom explained that this was her ex-husband and she'd lost a lot of friends over the fact that they didn't feel like she should be mourning him...What is that all about? What struck me the most, I think, is that this girl had tears in her eyes & had a hard time keeping it together when she told me about her dad & friend, yet it had been three years. I guess it never goes away altogether, does it? Anyway, the walk was over before we knew it, and when we came back, we all got to light a candle in memory of the loved ones we'd lost to suicide & I lit mine & sent up a "Happy Birthday!" to Shannon. After that, I went back & visited with Sarah & her mom & brother some more before I had to come home to get Tyson & start our week.

I would go into how the week's been, but I'll save it for my next post, since this one turned out so dang long...I do want to give a shout out to my dear ol' dad, whose birthday is today! Love you, Dad! Also, happy belated birthday to my beautiful neice, Careyanna (15), my dear friend, Denise (we won't go there), one of my three favorite brothers, Joe (the big 4-0! Impossible!), and to Randy, my bro-in-law that I just wrote about last week & who happens to share Shannon's birthday! One more birthday coming up....Yep, you, Laura! Happy Halloween, ya witch! Love you!

What have they done with all my new shows?!?

In the past, I never have been a big TV addict, but I decided that some of the new shows looked good & I should check 'em out at the beginning of the season, so I got hooked on a few:

Prison Break, Head Cases and Reunion (and most recently, My Name is Earl).

So, I tune in Monday at 9 pm., telling Tyson that I have transcription to do, so I have to cut the snuggling time short. Much to my dismay, it wasn't on! The stupid TV guide said it was, and even the interet said so, but they were lying! Oh, and this is after finding out that Head Cases was cancelled after two stinking episodes! I mean, really, the show had potential, and how would you know after two episodes if it was going to be sucessful or not? On Tuesday, I kept looking for My Name is Earl on Fox and didn't realize until it was over that it's actually on NBC. So, tonight's Thursday...I tell Tyson that he really needs to get some reading time in & that I have to watch Reunion. To my surprise and delight, he was cooperative, so I settle in to watch my show, and...yep! You guessed it! They didn't air it! What is going on here? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something! (Oh, wait...they cancelled that show, too...)

On a side note, a couple of exciting things: Misty, an old friend from another lifetime (ok, like high school) has tracked me down & we've been in touch. (Hi, Misty!) Also, I stumbled onto a blog that intrigued me and ended up making an internet buddy that is going through a hard time right now, and hopefully I can help him out a little by being a friend from afar. (Hi, Mike!) Also, I talked to Krista tonight, and her awesome hubby, Dustin, will be taking a test on Saturday so he will be able to be an independent sub-contracting plumber, which will allow him to work in town & live at home, rather than traveling out of town for work during the week & showing up on the weekends. I'm really looking forward to this weekend with Sarah & doing the walk for Shannon.

So, any of you who know me know that I believe in the power of prayer, and would like to ask that you say a little prayer for Misty for will-power, for Mike for patience and peace, for Dustin for his exciting new future, for my friends Twyla & Gary, that they'll get more sleep & appreciate eachother more, for my friend Denise, that her husband will woo her this weekend, and for my brother-in-law, Randy, whom I love dearly because he's so good to my big sis. He recently fell while working on the new house in Arizona and had a pretty serious head injury.

And, really, I'll try to quit being so dang sappy in my next blog entry! I just don't know what's gotten into me lately!

Well, per Twyla's petulant request for my light banter (just one of many facets of my incredibly enigmatic personality), here's my Top 10 on Tuesday:

10 Best Presents You've Received
(As always, in no particular order)

1. My son was born 5 days after my birthday. Does he count?
2. My surprise birthday party in 8th grade. My mom had Shannon & Sarah invite all our friends from school (including boys, woo-hoo!) and we had a sleep-over.
3. My pony, J.R. My mom did a whole scavenger hunt thing starting with a card on the Christmas tree & ending in the barn, with a big red bow wrapped around his neck.
4. My karaoke machine. (Ironically enough, from my ex-husband last Christmas, after we split up, but I was still living there until my place became available.)
5. A keyboard & a stand. (We were always broke when I was growing up, so when I got something this huge, it made me feel even more grateful!)
6. A Hawaiian ginger bath & body set from Shannon. It was the last thing she gave me, and she said that she knew how much I liked hers & that my mom had taught us to give someone something you'd want for yourself.
7. A really soft stuffed kitty on a heart pillow that said "I love you" from my boyfriend, Cris, in 8th grade. (I've been racking my brain, and other than that & the gifts I got on holidays from Seth, I don't think I've ever gotten presents from a boyfriend!)
8. A sepia-type picture of a daisy in a field that I have hanging in my living room from my sister, Kathy. I spotted it when we were shopping together & she snuck back & bought it for me without me knowing.
9. My friend, Denise, always gives little gifts, like Mary Kay (since she's a rep) and one time, a haircut & color, which is how I met my current hairdresser that I love so much!
10. Other gifts from friends: the blue glass hurricane lantern candleholder & cream & taupe candle platters from Twyla & the beautiful mirrored crystal candleholder from Marge for my wedding. Tyson's grandma, Robbin, has also given me so many wonderful gifts I can't begin to list them all. She's incredibly generous & has impeccible taste (and she doesn't even read my blog, so I'm not kissing up to get more - it's just the truth)! Also, I can't end this without mentioning that my big sister, Laura, always gave me birthday & Christmas presents when I was growing up, wherever she lived. She'd mail them with stickers all over the box - and still does, as a matter of fact! She just borrowed my wedding dress & when she mailed it back to me, included a really cute memo pad with an angel on the cover. She's always been thoughtful that way. (She does read this blog...hee hee!)