Today is the first day of fall term at SOU. I'm excited because I'll be taking communications and digital arts/media classes as part of my journalism minor in addition to the psychology and sociology classes I've been taking. It looks like it will be pretty challenging, too-- I have a research paper assignment in my Media History class that has a minimum 25-page requirement with 35 sources! I actually have an idea of what I want to write it about and how I can incorporate my psych and soc knowledge, though, so I'm excited about the challenge.

One of the assignments for my EMDA (Emerging Media and Digital Arts) class is to set up a blog (or use a previously existing one to post our work on), so you will be seeing some of my schoolwork posted here. I'm not really sure about the context other than the fact that it will involve some form of visual graphic art and/or photography, so stay tuned...

P.S. I got my final grades for summer term: A+ in Human Sexuality, A in my senior capstone class, and a B+ in Philosophy of Science and Religion.

Well, between the guilt from my dad and being shown up by my sister, Kathy, I have determined it's time to post on my blog again! These things really are great. There are a lot of things I had forgotten about until I went back through some of my blogging history and was reminded.

Right now I'm in finals week, two terms away from getting my BS in Psychology. I am taking my first capstone class in which I prepare a portfolio of my future career and educational goals and how I will accomplish them. Part of the capstone process is working with a local agency to gain 100 hours of experience in the field. I met with a clinical psychologist and three-time published author today who specializes in sexuality and divinity. She agreed to supervise me and I will be working in her office for two hours a week as well as being her teaching assistant next term (she is also a prof at SOU) for her Human Sexuality class (which I took earlier this summer and got 102% in). I'll get a chance to review her chart notes and learn how to open and close cases, along with the day-to-day operations of running a private therapy practice. I am so excited at the prospect of getting some hands-on experience and I feel closer than ever to my goal.

I'm in the process of deciding whether to graduate in two terms with a psych major and sociology and journalism minor or changing my sociology minor to a major. I've done extensive research and am just waiting to hear back from my sociology advisor before I decide for sure. I have, however, made the decision to stay in the area and get my master's in social work (MSW) degree here. I will be applying for the Portland State University distance learning program held on the SOU campus in January, and classes begin in fall term of 2012.

There's a whole lot more to talk about (after all, it's been over a year since I posted!), but I really need to get back to working on my papers which are due in a few short days. I'll try to get back to blogging more often from here on out!

I've been busy lately, trying to balance and juggle work and play, responsibilities and priorities. It's been so beautiful out and I really just want to go play, but I've made myself work out and do homework, as well as taking care of other priorities, like Tyson's basketball schedule. He just closed up the summer season for the incoming freshmen team, but works out and does drills in Medford with some of the valley's best coaches. He is waiting to hear from two different travel teams he wants to play for this summer.)

As I've mentioned on my blog before, my friend Samantha has been going through an incredibly tough time in her life, having lost her mom suddenly to a heart attack right after starting college, then her dad had complications from a triple bypass and has had to have multiple procedures as a result. She's such a great person and it's hard to watch anyone go through this, but especially someone who has worked so hard and taken a lot of blows, but still keeps pushing forward without blaming others. I've been trying to squeeze in as much time for her as possible these days to offer my support and keep her mind occupied.

I also helped the therapist that serves as my mentor move into a new office today and I asked her if I could interview her about her career and education so I can get a better idea of the path I want to take before I proceed any further. I had a great time with her and she had some great insights and ideas. I'll write more about that after I talk with my advisor and do some more research.

The only thing I didn't get to do today was work out. I've been trying to do something active every day, but I guess some days it just can't happen (I'm too busy, lol!).

Well, today was Tyson's graduation...from 8th grade. He survived middle school! He thought the whole graduation & pictures thing was lame, but I did get manage to get him to pose for a few shots.



I started school again today, with my first class of the summer, The Psych Major. It's a 5-hour class, but only today & Thursday, and then I'm done! Until next week, when I start Conceptual Writing & Poverty, Family, & Policy (a Sociology class). Those classes get out July 16th & then I take a psychology class (Intro to Helping Skills) from August 16 through the 29th. Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I got A's in all of my classes last term!

So, I've decided to stick with a Psych major/Soc minor, but I am looking into getting a second minor in Journalism and plan to take as many creative writing and Spanish classes as possible for the next two years.

Yesterday was my RCC graduation ceremony. I've uploaded a slideshow here & I'll post a link to the video from graduation once they put it on the college page, just wanted to get the pics up. Off to do a photo shoot for my niece, Heather before she pops!



Here's the link to watch the RCC graduation: http://stream1.roguecc.edu/2010grad/2010-rcc-grad.wmv (Just copy & paste or type that into your address bar.) I come in around 15:40 and have the gold stole around my neck. I get my diploma at 1:21:59 and around 1:26:00 I'm in the front when we put our tassles on the other side.

Sooooo..... while I was in a funk from being sick, I've done some soul searching and I want some honest feedback. I'm asking for your opinions, so I want the truth. Just understand that I won't be making my decisions based entirely upon others' opinions. I just need to put things into perspective & I think some outside advice may help.

As you know, I've just entered my junior year in college. This is basically the last chance that I have to change my direction before I go any further without screwing up my time frame or finances.

My focus thus far has been on therapy of some sort, whether it be as a Sociology or Psychology major. If I continue in this direction, I'll most likely go for a Psychology major with a Sociology minor, then get my Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling. I have the option of continuing from there to either get my LCSW or PhD.

The other crazy idea I have is to switch gears and go for a degree in writing of some sort -- journalism (maybe even photojournalism?) or editing. I like all the different kinds of writing I've been exposed to & want to write someday, either fiction or even psychological articles, if I go that route. I enjoy reporting and technical writing, along with graphic design and advertising.

Okay, well those are my thoughts. Any feedback would be appreciated! And for those of you who are local, my RCC graduation will be Saturday, June 12 at 6 p.m. at the Grants Pass campus. For those of you who are out of town, it would be great to see you, but don't feel obligated to come. This is only my first graduation. :)

Well, I made it through the week (barely)! I've been progressively feeling crappier despite taking antibiotics, so I finally went to the doctor, who gave me more antibiotics.

Tyson is still pretty sick too, but wanted to go to Salem to play basketball with one of the Rogue Valley's traveling teams. I hope I made the right decision in letting him go, being sick and all, but I just couldn't bring myself to deny him the opportunity.

In his absence, I'm taking it easy. I do have a lot of transcription & finals to do, but I'm trying to take at least today to get some R&R and hopefully get better. It's beautiful outside & everyone's camping or traveling for Memorial Day weekend, but I'm holed up on my couch watching chick flicks & crime dramas. On the upside, I've discovered a few new shows: Castle, Drop Dead Diva, and Happy Town. And I re-watched How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Oh, that Winston... If he were here, he'd take such good care of me... (although I wouldn't want him to see me looking like this!)

Today was a rough one. It started out well. I woke up slightly groggy from staying up doing homework last night, since I spent all weekend doing farming, transcription, and basketball games (all this while still sick after 2 weeks)! I actually got to my 8 am yoga/meditation class on time, and had a really nice, mellow class. Afterward, I got a cup of coffee to accompany my healthy breakfast of a banana, granola bar, and yogurt & headed off to my "Media in Communications" class. I had some time in between classes, so I sat down & organized my notebooks & my planner. Off to a great start!

After class, I checked my voicemail & was told I had an extra tape to pick up for one of the docs I'm filling in for, so I picked that up & headed home for an hour to eat lunch, do my online transcription, purchase my books for the next two terms, and register for summer & fall classes. The address on my debit card didn't match my new address that I wanted to books shipped to, so I had to change my info with my bank. In the meantime, $93 was charged to my bank account eight times, so I had to call my bank to straighten that out. While doing so, I emailed the professor of my 2 pm class to see if we were having class, because I'd written down that there was no class in my organizer but wasn't sure. While I was logged into my school email, I noticed an email from the McNair program that I had interviewed for last week. I was a little surprised, not to mention disappointed, to discover that I wasn't chosen for the program.

I got a reply from my prof that we did indeed have class, so I headed back to Ashland for school. Once class got out, I picked up some groceries & more transcription, dropped everything off, and headed to Phoenix to pick Tyson up from basketball practice. On the way, I stopped off to check the mail & I got a letter saying that they had adjusted my financial aid, so now I will be getting at least $600 less next term. The other piece of mail was from my doctor recommending I call to schedule a pap smear. This day had definitely taken a turn for the worse.

Tyson was exhausted when I picked him up & is feeling sick all over again (I got my cough from him), so he was grouchy. We came home, I cooked dinner while doing transcription, and Tyson took a shower & fell asleep watching TV in his room (without dinner).

I went back to Ashland at 7 to pick up four more doctors' dictations & came back home & decided to work on a project for school & take a break from the transcription, saving it for tomorrow. I wasted 2 hours watching this movie all the way through before I realized that it was a different movie (by the same title) than my prof had assigned.

I'm going to bed now, so I can get up tomorrow & do it all over again... ugh!

Here's what I did today:



My friend Michael (my old editor from the RCC Byline) called me up the other day & asked if I'd be interested in volunteering, putting in a garden for the local food pantry. I said I would & he asked me to bring other volunteers, so I rounded up Mary, Allen, & Tyson & we went to work on the farm today. There was a photographer there from the Mail Tribune, too, so we might be in the paper!

Well, I just basically wanted to get these pics uploaded & now I have to get to work -- I picked up that extra transcription this evening, so it's back to the grind!

Sure enough, Tyson brought me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day. Afterward, I called my mom & had a nice long talk with her. I think that was the extent of the celebration, which is perfect as far as I'm concerned.

I did my Media/Communications class presentation and I think it went pretty well. We haven't gotten our grades back on it yet. One of the other three students never met with us to do any work on the essay or presentation, so we had to politely explain to her that she couldn't present with us. We had all tried to include her in our emails & meetings & she never responded, so we were a little surprised when she replied to our email asking her not to prsent with us saying that she was "hurt." That very same week, she copied & pasted one of my other team members' weekly post online for an assigment! I felt a little less bad after that happened.

My other classes have been going well, except for the fact that I didn't attend all of them last week. I caught some cough/chest thing that Tyson had & it's been really doing a number on me. I'm going on two weeks now & it's still pretty bad.

Last weekend I went to Heather's baby shower, which was a potluck BBQ at a park in Medford. There were a bunch of people there I didn't know, but Mary & Matt came, Allen came with me, and Mindy & Brandon were there of course. Heather was a little cranky, but I think she's at that point in her pregnancy. I took some pics, but I think they got lost when my hard drive crashed on my laptop. (Dell overnighted me a new one, which is what I'm using now). I'll look to see if they might have been uploaded to my other laptop by any chance. I sure hope so. I know for sure I lost all Tyson's basketball videos from the past three seasons, which is a TOTAL bummer!

Last night, Mary & I went to Grants Pass for my brother Allen's Phi Theta Kappa honor society induction. His sponsor & Rosalie & David came, as well. The ceremony itself was very short, but I took video & pics, so I'll add those to this post as soon as I get a chance. Allen has a 4.0 GPA & I hope he sticks with school so he can see the potential that we have all seen in him.



Well, I'm gonna eat something & try to nap a little bit before I get started on some homework. I'm trying to get ahead in school because I'll be filling in for another transcriptionist all next week & it's also the week before finals.

I don't actually have anything new to report, but am trying to stay in better touch with family, and blogging is one way to do that...

My niece, Mary, came over for coffee Friday morning (yesterday), then we went to Medford & did some shopping before I headed over to my friend, Samantha's. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but her mom just died a few weeks ago, and now her dad's going in for tripple bypass surgery. She's obviously been going through a rough time, but she's really keeping it together. We went shopping at the craft store to look for scrapbooking ideas for a project for one of her classes. Afterward, we went out to Mexican food, then she came over & we had a nice long girl's chat in my room until after midnight.

I also put together a paper for my communications class which I present with three other students on Monday morning. I'm actually pretty excited about it, because my team members are really smart & liked my ideas, as well as having some great ones of their own. I figured if it's a class about media and the effect it has on society and cultures, we should include video & music in our power point presentation. Nobody else has done that in our class, and I think it's going to go over really well.

I popped over to my friend and old neighbor, Bridget's, today for a little visit & a banana daquiri. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for tomorrow for Mother's Day. Tyson has some friends staying the night, so I'm gonna just chill in my room & fall asleep to a movie. I do enjoy this quieter life!

Had a great weekend! I went out to an early dinner with Rosalie and her husband, David, at The Roadhouse. She & I have just recently reconnected after not having seen eachnother since I was in elementary school. She's a good friend & old flame of my brother's. I arrived late, and she had made her hubby wait at the table while she ran home, so I didn't know what to do when I walked in. (I'd never met her husband before). Fortunately, the hostess went over & asked him if his name was David, and I headed on over to introduce myself. I liked him immediately -- super easy to talk to, and a genuinely nice, intelligent guy. After dinner, I came home and worked on homework.

We had two back-to-back games on Saturday night and we won both. Tyson was really on! I'm going to try to upload one of the mixes he made of some highlights from his games(I record them with my camera's video setting, so the focus isn't always great).



Tyson's friend, Eddy, stayed the night after the games & went to church with us this morning. We all had a great time and I ran into a couple that I know from basketball and from SOU, so that was cool. I just think it's so great that Tyson has formed friendships with kids he knows share his beliefs and that the boys would enjoy going to church together.

Other than that, I stayed home all weekend doing homework and unpacking/organizing. It can be ovewhelming to go through all this stuff, but it feels so good to get rid of some things and sort others.

Alright, I'm up waaaaay too late & should get to bed now. I have my first class (yoga/meditation) at 8 am. Ugh!! But hey, at least I can't get in trouble for falling asleep in class... ;)

New stuff: I moved back to Talent (into a different apartment complex) on April 19th. Things had become unbearable and I had to get out as quickly as possible. My new place is a 2 bdrm, 2 bath upstairs apartment with a small balcony and vaulted ceilings. By signing a year lease, I managed to save $85/month. The complex has a clubhouse with a theater room, workout room (much bigger/better than my old apartment's!), a tennis court, a basketball court, and putting green. Pets are allowed with a $300 deposit, and we'll maybe look into getting a dog after we get settled & finances balance out again.

Seth was a huge help in the move & even let me stay with him & his fiance the weekend prior to my move so I wouldn't have to deal with my roommate. Unfortunately, this kindness was short-lived and he is back to feeling entitled to telling me how to parent because he helped me. Grrrr!!!

As far as Tyson goes, we have continued to work on our relationship & I'm seeing a lot of progress! We're focusing on getting his grades back up by turning in missing assignments in math & he's working on being more respectful toward me & not being so quick to roll his eyes in exasperation. More than anything, we are both communicating our needs more and spending more one-on-one time together. We are also planning on going to church more often, beginning this Sunday.

SOU is going great - up to this point, I've just barely stayed on top of all my assignments because I've been living in turmoil, but I'm feeling better about planning & studying now that I have fewer distractions. I've still been going in a million different directions & moving during midterms didn't help. I applied for a program SOU offers that will help prepare me for grad school & help me get it paid for (I have the Ford Scholarship, but it only pays 80% toward grad school, so if I can get 100%, why not?). I'm considering doing an interdisciplinary degree in Sociology/Psychology, with a focus on gerontology and either a double major or a minor in Journalism. I'm meeting with the Psych advisor on Monday to discuss this upon the suggestion of my Soc advisor. Planning my future is exhausting work, but I'm pretty confident the payoff will be well worth it.

Oh, before I end this post to get some much-needed rest, an update for Tyson's basketball fans: We are 1:1 so far this season. Tyson continues to be a self-motivated team leader but has had to share the spotlight with his friend, Eddy, who has joined his team. Eddy's a very talented player who has a big height advantage. The experience has been somewhat difficult for Tyson to adjust to, but he respects Eddy & knows that he is a huge asset for the team, which is what is important in the long run.

Well, life hasn't been easy lately, but it could be worse. The living situation with my roomie hasn't gotten any better. We haven't yelled at eachother in a while, but that's only because we don't talk at all. Needless to say, I spend more time looking for a new place online and driving between Ashland and Medford looking than I do anything else. I think I'm getting closer, though, and I'm trying to be out by May 1st.

Tyson and I both have been making an effort to bond more and spat less. I can't call it fighting because it's not like that; it's more us getting annoyed and frustrated with each other, mostly him with me. I should mention, if I haven't previously, that Seth has been a big help with the whole situation with Tyson and has been very supportive of me, by telling me what a great mom he thinks I am or trying to make Tyson see my side as well as offering to have Tyson come over whenever he wants. We've come a long way! Tyson and I went to the movies last night and saw "Date Night," which was great! He started his new season of basketball a couple weeks ago & games begin this weekend. I actually miss the games in between seasons...!

My niece, Mary, and I hung out last weekend & did a photo shoot in Ashland's Railroad District about a mile from where I live. After the photo shoot, we went to lunch at The Creek, a cool little reggae dive which we've been to a few times now. And, hey, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's our photo shoot, as well as some pics I entered into the SOU photo contest of the campus, so you can see where I go to school now:

Mary's 21st Photo Shoot

Happy 14th Birthday, Tyson!

Well, life has been crazy as usual, but I'm sure my readers (aka family) expect no less from this determined & sometimes too spontaneous young(ish) woman.

I finished my last term at RCC (18 credits: 2 B's & 3 A's) & now officially have my Associate's degree. My final GPA after just under two years at RCC is a 3.6. I was accepted at SOU & start classes for my Bachelor's on Monday, March 29, the day after my 34th birthday. I'm taking two sociology classes, a journalism class, a meditation class, and cardio, tennis, and swimming (in an effort to get ready for summer). There will be a year to a year & a half between the time I get my Bachelor's & when I can enter the Master's program for Sociology, so I'm considering using the time to get a second degree in journalism, but we'll see. I might also use the time to get my practicum done for my Soc. Master's degree. I meet with my SOU advisor in April to discuss my possibilities further.

I moved in to a 4-bedroom house in Ashland with a friend who has two boys, ages 6 & 9, on March 1st. It was a little hectic, being finals week at RCC and all, but we did it! However, I don't think this is going to work out & I've begun to look for another place for me & Tyson already. Once again, my optimism got the best of me & I overestimated the good in another person. I'm pretty determined to let this be the last time that ever happens!

I splurged & gave myself a birthday cut & color today...nothing drastic, just trimmed up the dead ends & added some color to cover the grays & lighten it up for summer, but I like it.

Tyson spent Spring Break going to a basketball camp & continues to push himself to be the best little basketball player he can be, which I have to say is pretty impressive. He has a steady girlfriend who lives in Medford & is still doing well in school. He is becoming a teenager & has begun to distance himself from me, which breaks my heart a little, even though I knew it was coming. It's hard, though, with him being my only child & knowing he's leaving in four short years. I can only hope that he knows I tried my best to do right by him. It doesn't help that I'm having problems with my roommate & it looks like we're moving again already -- not exactly the stable home life I would want to provide for my child...

Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know what's going on with me these days. Hope everything's going well for all of you.

Hello again! Sorry it's been so long in between posts but I've been so dang busy with school this ter.! I love all of my classes (except for math, of course) and am just barely managing to stay on top of my deadlines. Speaking of deadlines, I've been writing more for the school newspaper than ever before now that I'm taking the journalism class. Here's the link to my articles online: http://roguebyline.wordpress.com/?s=amanda. Just click on the title and it will pull up the full story, complete with photos.

Gotta run, have a ton of homework to do. Happy reading!

I was driving last night & the song, Eye of the Tiger, came on the radio. This is a song I've heard for years and even sung along with but I think because it was so associated with the movie, Rocky, I never realized how much I liked the lyriics, which I've posted for you here:

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

[Chorus:]
It's the eye of the tiger, it's
the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds, still we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive

[Chorus]

Risin' up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

[Chorus]

The eye of the tiger
[Repeats to fade out]

So, as I said, I was DRIVING!! After The Guy & I broke up, my friend, Becky, introduced me to her husband's best friend, Brian. We've gone out on several dates but he's a complete gentleman, to the degree that I'm not even sure if he's interested in my in a girl/boy way but think he just enjoys my company and enjoys having a pressure-free girl to date. Anyway, he lives in Grants Pass (about a 45 minute drive away) so I don't see him often but will get a text or email every now and then or we'll meet up for dinner out or over at Becky's or her family's house. I mentioned to him that my Jeep had been broken down for over a month & the very next afternoon, he called to say that he was bringing me his Jeep Grand Cherokee to drive & would tow my Jeep back to his place to fix it in his garage. What a great guy! So now I'm not stranded and isolated as I was, and I'm feeling a lot better overall. I was starting to get a little depressed over the whole thing (missing Tyson's away games, not getting to go grocery shopping, having to ride the public bus with a lot of weirdos, etc.) so it's nice to feel like I have a life again!

I started my last term at RCC last week and it's gonna be tough, but I have every intention of making straight A's. It's totally possible if I just stick to my guns & stay on top of all my reading, studying, and assignments, which I plan to make my central focus this term. So far, so good.

I've enjoyed my Juvenile Delinquency class a lot. We watch videos about different topics each week (the last two were Inside the Teenaged Brain and Teen Violence) & write about them on a discussion forum with the rest of the online class. My math class is fairly simple and straightforward math, so as long as I stay on top of it & study for my tests, I think I'll do fine with that.

Figure drawing is a lot different than anything I've ever done but I can already see an improvement in my proportions by the end of the second class. I'm trying to get the hot guy from my Psych class last summer to do some nude modeling for the class, haha!! I'm taking Music with my brother, Allen. We wanted to take a class together before I move on to RCC. The class material covers classical composers such as Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach. The music is beautiful and it's something that neither my brother nor I would normally spend much time listening to but we both enjoy it a lot and the teacher is a hoot! She also has a bunch of degrees and not only performs music but has her finger in a lot of pies, including counseling work. She seems to have a lot of the same attitude & interests that I do & I think she'll be a good person to talk to about my future plans & network with.

Journalism has been interesting...The first day, there were four students in the class and during the second class, it was me and one other student besides the student editor and the professor. Nonetheless, I really enjoy being a "real" part of the newspaper & have been assigned to cover the following "beats:" Arts & Entertainment, Travel, and Environment. For A&E, I'll attend concerts or movies & write reviews. For travel, the prof suggested I do a short day-trip, for example to a coastal town, and write a travel log of my adventures while I take in the local flavor. I'm working on an article right now for an Environment piece & contacted the RCC Recycling Coordinator with some interview questions. It turns out she is an AmeriCorps volunteer and I did some online research to find out what that means. I think I found something I want to look into for myself. As a Soc major and as a scholarship recipient hoping to get grad school paid for, I need to find ways to help out in my community and that is exactly what AmeriCorps is all about -- not to mention in some cases they offer a living wage and scholarship or student loan forgiveness!

My friend Michele just called so I'm gonna go for now.

Well, it's been a while & I thought I should probably blog before I enter my next & final term at RCC & get too busy!

I'll be taking 18 credits this term (the most I've taken so far!) in order to graduate in time to transfer to SOU in the spring. I've registered for art, music, journalism, juvenille delinquency, and a math class. I'm going to have to dig deep to stay on top of all of them & recent disheartening experiences with people will enable me to be less social and more focused on myself. I won't go into details but I have seen recently how much people take advantage of me & I'm not going to allow them that opportunity anymore.

My jeep broke down about a month ago now. I replaced the radiator but immediately discovered that I had blown the head gasket as well, so have been in the (very lengthy) process of waiting for that to get fixed. I've been feeling pretty cooped up & have had to rely mostly on public transportation to get places. I start classes on the 5th & I set up a ride home for that evening but am not quite sure how I'll be getting home after that (the last bus leaves Medford at 6:30 p.m. & my class ends at 6:50 p.m.). I'm hoping someone in my class lives near me & can help me out with a ride home two nights a week.

Tyson's done with his school season of basketball & the AAU (community) season has begun. His knee has been doing a lot better for a while now & he continues to wow everyone who is lucky enough to see him play. We were going to look into moving so that Tyson could attend South Medford & play for their team but he has recently told me he's considering staying in the Phoenix school district where he already has built a reputation & will continue to be a team captain & get a lot of play time. I told him I was willing to do whatever I could to help him be successful but he needs to make up his mind before we make a move.

Tyson has been spending more time with his dad. Seth is making a little more effort by calling more often but has still only made one basketball game despite the fact that he lives next door to the school. I think the main thing is that Ty can watch his NBA games since they have cable & Seth cooks huge dinners with a lot of meat. Tyson has a voracious appetite now that he's a teenager!

We had a quiet Christmas but it was really nice to spend some quality one-on-one time with the kid without all of his friends over (which is usually the case). I will be happy to put 2009 behind me & am hoping for a better New Year!

Last night, I had an epiphany. I remember one night probably about 5 to 10 years ago that I was driving with my mom in the car & expressed to her how frustrated I was that I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Her reply was typical of my mother, infuriatingly calm, simple, passive, and wise: "Why don't you let it find you?"

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen. I've lived my life by the mantra "God helps those who helps themselves." And while I still believe that you have to take responsibility for your own fate, I've reached that point in my life where I can see the truth and wisdom in my mom's suggestion.

While I did ultimately make the decision to become a therapist and have made progress toward that goal, in retrospect, I realize that my whole life has been grooming me for this. I've known that certain aspects of my life have influenced my career decision -- my mom, my siblings, my upbringing, my temperament, my friends, the loss of Shannon, etc. But last night I began looking at the seemingly meaningless jobs that I have held that were, at the time, just a means to an end. I started to see a pattern and everything made sense.

When Tyson was 2 years old, I started working in te office of a physical therapist, which became a catalyst for other medical office jobs. This position taught me about charting, documentation, insurance billing, and scheduling. When I got the job at Siskiyou Eye Center, it was more of the same but I was introduced into the medical community in Ashland, providing me with the opportunity to learn medical transcription. Through SEC, I also met Marilyn Vicarro, LCSW, a family counselor who is my mentor and has written me several letters of recommendations for scholarships.

I got to thinking last night about some of the contacts I've made and that these people provide a network that have a lot of potential to be future positions in my field. I know three people who work out at the VA Dom, two of whom are in the Psych Dept. Because of Tyson and being involved in the Booster Club and sports through his school, I have contacts within the school district that may help me get a foot in the door there after I get my degree. I make confirmation calls for Marilyn's schedule and although I think she is planning to retire before I graduate, I also know the therapist who will be taking over her client base and I plan to talk to her about recommending me to him for overflow and vacation coverage when I start my private practice. Through medical transcription, I have met many of Ashland's physicians who are a potential source of mental health counseling referrals in the future. And because of my medical office experience, I know the ins and outs of running my own, from advertising to charting to confirmation calls to medical transcription to billing insurance. My business expenses can be kept to a minimum because I will be able to do most everything myself.

All of these years of networking and performing mundane tasks, trying not to burn bridges but never imagining that I would cross them again, have led to this -- the realization of my dreams, now that I DO know what I want to do with my life. All those years that felt like wasted time were simply preparing me so that when I did figure it out, I would have the tools to do it.

Unbeknownst to me, while I struggled impatiently to find my destiny, my destiny had already found me. I think that part of the reason this became clear to me now is because I only have two more terms at RCC before I get my AAOT degree. I remember when I thought I would never go to college. I also remember making the decision to go and writing about it right here in this blog. I remember enrolling in my first class. I remember applying for scholarships and not really understanding how it all worked and what it meant when I was awarded the Ford Scholaship. And now I've almost reached my first milestone, which makes the next two degrees feel that much more possible. I'm almost a third of the way done!

Thank you, Mom, for your good advice, even when it frustrates the heck out of me. Thank you for believing in me always and for supporting my adventurous spirit even when it meant I didn't do things your way.