Last night, I had an epiphany. I remember one night probably about 5 to 10 years ago that I was driving with my mom in the car & expressed to her how frustrated I was that I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Her reply was typical of my mother, infuriatingly calm, simple, passive, and wise: "Why don't you let it find you?"

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen. I've lived my life by the mantra "God helps those who helps themselves." And while I still believe that you have to take responsibility for your own fate, I've reached that point in my life where I can see the truth and wisdom in my mom's suggestion.

While I did ultimately make the decision to become a therapist and have made progress toward that goal, in retrospect, I realize that my whole life has been grooming me for this. I've known that certain aspects of my life have influenced my career decision -- my mom, my siblings, my upbringing, my temperament, my friends, the loss of Shannon, etc. But last night I began looking at the seemingly meaningless jobs that I have held that were, at the time, just a means to an end. I started to see a pattern and everything made sense.

When Tyson was 2 years old, I started working in te office of a physical therapist, which became a catalyst for other medical office jobs. This position taught me about charting, documentation, insurance billing, and scheduling. When I got the job at Siskiyou Eye Center, it was more of the same but I was introduced into the medical community in Ashland, providing me with the opportunity to learn medical transcription. Through SEC, I also met Marilyn Vicarro, LCSW, a family counselor who is my mentor and has written me several letters of recommendations for scholarships.

I got to thinking last night about some of the contacts I've made and that these people provide a network that have a lot of potential to be future positions in my field. I know three people who work out at the VA Dom, two of whom are in the Psych Dept. Because of Tyson and being involved in the Booster Club and sports through his school, I have contacts within the school district that may help me get a foot in the door there after I get my degree. I make confirmation calls for Marilyn's schedule and although I think she is planning to retire before I graduate, I also know the therapist who will be taking over her client base and I plan to talk to her about recommending me to him for overflow and vacation coverage when I start my private practice. Through medical transcription, I have met many of Ashland's physicians who are a potential source of mental health counseling referrals in the future. And because of my medical office experience, I know the ins and outs of running my own, from advertising to charting to confirmation calls to medical transcription to billing insurance. My business expenses can be kept to a minimum because I will be able to do most everything myself.

All of these years of networking and performing mundane tasks, trying not to burn bridges but never imagining that I would cross them again, have led to this -- the realization of my dreams, now that I DO know what I want to do with my life. All those years that felt like wasted time were simply preparing me so that when I did figure it out, I would have the tools to do it.

Unbeknownst to me, while I struggled impatiently to find my destiny, my destiny had already found me. I think that part of the reason this became clear to me now is because I only have two more terms at RCC before I get my AAOT degree. I remember when I thought I would never go to college. I also remember making the decision to go and writing about it right here in this blog. I remember enrolling in my first class. I remember applying for scholarships and not really understanding how it all worked and what it meant when I was awarded the Ford Scholaship. And now I've almost reached my first milestone, which makes the next two degrees feel that much more possible. I'm almost a third of the way done!

Thank you, Mom, for your good advice, even when it frustrates the heck out of me. Thank you for believing in me always and for supporting my adventurous spirit even when it meant I didn't do things your way.