Sooooo..... while I was in a funk from being sick, I've done some soul searching and I want some honest feedback. I'm asking for your opinions, so I want the truth. Just understand that I won't be making my decisions based entirely upon others' opinions. I just need to put things into perspective & I think some outside advice may help.

As you know, I've just entered my junior year in college. This is basically the last chance that I have to change my direction before I go any further without screwing up my time frame or finances.

My focus thus far has been on therapy of some sort, whether it be as a Sociology or Psychology major. If I continue in this direction, I'll most likely go for a Psychology major with a Sociology minor, then get my Masters degree in Mental Health Counseling. I have the option of continuing from there to either get my LCSW or PhD.

The other crazy idea I have is to switch gears and go for a degree in writing of some sort -- journalism (maybe even photojournalism?) or editing. I like all the different kinds of writing I've been exposed to & want to write someday, either fiction or even psychological articles, if I go that route. I enjoy reporting and technical writing, along with graphic design and advertising.

Okay, well those are my thoughts. Any feedback would be appreciated! And for those of you who are local, my RCC graduation will be Saturday, June 12 at 6 p.m. at the Grants Pass campus. For those of you who are out of town, it would be great to see you, but don't feel obligated to come. This is only my first graduation. :)

Well, I made it through the week (barely)! I've been progressively feeling crappier despite taking antibiotics, so I finally went to the doctor, who gave me more antibiotics.

Tyson is still pretty sick too, but wanted to go to Salem to play basketball with one of the Rogue Valley's traveling teams. I hope I made the right decision in letting him go, being sick and all, but I just couldn't bring myself to deny him the opportunity.

In his absence, I'm taking it easy. I do have a lot of transcription & finals to do, but I'm trying to take at least today to get some R&R and hopefully get better. It's beautiful outside & everyone's camping or traveling for Memorial Day weekend, but I'm holed up on my couch watching chick flicks & crime dramas. On the upside, I've discovered a few new shows: Castle, Drop Dead Diva, and Happy Town. And I re-watched How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Oh, that Winston... If he were here, he'd take such good care of me... (although I wouldn't want him to see me looking like this!)

Today was a rough one. It started out well. I woke up slightly groggy from staying up doing homework last night, since I spent all weekend doing farming, transcription, and basketball games (all this while still sick after 2 weeks)! I actually got to my 8 am yoga/meditation class on time, and had a really nice, mellow class. Afterward, I got a cup of coffee to accompany my healthy breakfast of a banana, granola bar, and yogurt & headed off to my "Media in Communications" class. I had some time in between classes, so I sat down & organized my notebooks & my planner. Off to a great start!

After class, I checked my voicemail & was told I had an extra tape to pick up for one of the docs I'm filling in for, so I picked that up & headed home for an hour to eat lunch, do my online transcription, purchase my books for the next two terms, and register for summer & fall classes. The address on my debit card didn't match my new address that I wanted to books shipped to, so I had to change my info with my bank. In the meantime, $93 was charged to my bank account eight times, so I had to call my bank to straighten that out. While doing so, I emailed the professor of my 2 pm class to see if we were having class, because I'd written down that there was no class in my organizer but wasn't sure. While I was logged into my school email, I noticed an email from the McNair program that I had interviewed for last week. I was a little surprised, not to mention disappointed, to discover that I wasn't chosen for the program.

I got a reply from my prof that we did indeed have class, so I headed back to Ashland for school. Once class got out, I picked up some groceries & more transcription, dropped everything off, and headed to Phoenix to pick Tyson up from basketball practice. On the way, I stopped off to check the mail & I got a letter saying that they had adjusted my financial aid, so now I will be getting at least $600 less next term. The other piece of mail was from my doctor recommending I call to schedule a pap smear. This day had definitely taken a turn for the worse.

Tyson was exhausted when I picked him up & is feeling sick all over again (I got my cough from him), so he was grouchy. We came home, I cooked dinner while doing transcription, and Tyson took a shower & fell asleep watching TV in his room (without dinner).

I went back to Ashland at 7 to pick up four more doctors' dictations & came back home & decided to work on a project for school & take a break from the transcription, saving it for tomorrow. I wasted 2 hours watching this movie all the way through before I realized that it was a different movie (by the same title) than my prof had assigned.

I'm going to bed now, so I can get up tomorrow & do it all over again... ugh!

Here's what I did today:



My friend Michael (my old editor from the RCC Byline) called me up the other day & asked if I'd be interested in volunteering, putting in a garden for the local food pantry. I said I would & he asked me to bring other volunteers, so I rounded up Mary, Allen, & Tyson & we went to work on the farm today. There was a photographer there from the Mail Tribune, too, so we might be in the paper!

Well, I just basically wanted to get these pics uploaded & now I have to get to work -- I picked up that extra transcription this evening, so it's back to the grind!

Sure enough, Tyson brought me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day. Afterward, I called my mom & had a nice long talk with her. I think that was the extent of the celebration, which is perfect as far as I'm concerned.

I did my Media/Communications class presentation and I think it went pretty well. We haven't gotten our grades back on it yet. One of the other three students never met with us to do any work on the essay or presentation, so we had to politely explain to her that she couldn't present with us. We had all tried to include her in our emails & meetings & she never responded, so we were a little surprised when she replied to our email asking her not to prsent with us saying that she was "hurt." That very same week, she copied & pasted one of my other team members' weekly post online for an assigment! I felt a little less bad after that happened.

My other classes have been going well, except for the fact that I didn't attend all of them last week. I caught some cough/chest thing that Tyson had & it's been really doing a number on me. I'm going on two weeks now & it's still pretty bad.

Last weekend I went to Heather's baby shower, which was a potluck BBQ at a park in Medford. There were a bunch of people there I didn't know, but Mary & Matt came, Allen came with me, and Mindy & Brandon were there of course. Heather was a little cranky, but I think she's at that point in her pregnancy. I took some pics, but I think they got lost when my hard drive crashed on my laptop. (Dell overnighted me a new one, which is what I'm using now). I'll look to see if they might have been uploaded to my other laptop by any chance. I sure hope so. I know for sure I lost all Tyson's basketball videos from the past three seasons, which is a TOTAL bummer!

Last night, Mary & I went to Grants Pass for my brother Allen's Phi Theta Kappa honor society induction. His sponsor & Rosalie & David came, as well. The ceremony itself was very short, but I took video & pics, so I'll add those to this post as soon as I get a chance. Allen has a 4.0 GPA & I hope he sticks with school so he can see the potential that we have all seen in him.



Well, I'm gonna eat something & try to nap a little bit before I get started on some homework. I'm trying to get ahead in school because I'll be filling in for another transcriptionist all next week & it's also the week before finals.

I don't actually have anything new to report, but am trying to stay in better touch with family, and blogging is one way to do that...

My niece, Mary, came over for coffee Friday morning (yesterday), then we went to Medford & did some shopping before I headed over to my friend, Samantha's. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but her mom just died a few weeks ago, and now her dad's going in for tripple bypass surgery. She's obviously been going through a rough time, but she's really keeping it together. We went shopping at the craft store to look for scrapbooking ideas for a project for one of her classes. Afterward, we went out to Mexican food, then she came over & we had a nice long girl's chat in my room until after midnight.

I also put together a paper for my communications class which I present with three other students on Monday morning. I'm actually pretty excited about it, because my team members are really smart & liked my ideas, as well as having some great ones of their own. I figured if it's a class about media and the effect it has on society and cultures, we should include video & music in our power point presentation. Nobody else has done that in our class, and I think it's going to go over really well.

I popped over to my friend and old neighbor, Bridget's, today for a little visit & a banana daquiri. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for tomorrow for Mother's Day. Tyson has some friends staying the night, so I'm gonna just chill in my room & fall asleep to a movie. I do enjoy this quieter life!

Had a great weekend! I went out to an early dinner with Rosalie and her husband, David, at The Roadhouse. She & I have just recently reconnected after not having seen eachnother since I was in elementary school. She's a good friend & old flame of my brother's. I arrived late, and she had made her hubby wait at the table while she ran home, so I didn't know what to do when I walked in. (I'd never met her husband before). Fortunately, the hostess went over & asked him if his name was David, and I headed on over to introduce myself. I liked him immediately -- super easy to talk to, and a genuinely nice, intelligent guy. After dinner, I came home and worked on homework.

We had two back-to-back games on Saturday night and we won both. Tyson was really on! I'm going to try to upload one of the mixes he made of some highlights from his games(I record them with my camera's video setting, so the focus isn't always great).



Tyson's friend, Eddy, stayed the night after the games & went to church with us this morning. We all had a great time and I ran into a couple that I know from basketball and from SOU, so that was cool. I just think it's so great that Tyson has formed friendships with kids he knows share his beliefs and that the boys would enjoy going to church together.

Other than that, I stayed home all weekend doing homework and unpacking/organizing. It can be ovewhelming to go through all this stuff, but it feels so good to get rid of some things and sort others.

Alright, I'm up waaaaay too late & should get to bed now. I have my first class (yoga/meditation) at 8 am. Ugh!! But hey, at least I can't get in trouble for falling asleep in class... ;)

New stuff: I moved back to Talent (into a different apartment complex) on April 19th. Things had become unbearable and I had to get out as quickly as possible. My new place is a 2 bdrm, 2 bath upstairs apartment with a small balcony and vaulted ceilings. By signing a year lease, I managed to save $85/month. The complex has a clubhouse with a theater room, workout room (much bigger/better than my old apartment's!), a tennis court, a basketball court, and putting green. Pets are allowed with a $300 deposit, and we'll maybe look into getting a dog after we get settled & finances balance out again.

Seth was a huge help in the move & even let me stay with him & his fiance the weekend prior to my move so I wouldn't have to deal with my roommate. Unfortunately, this kindness was short-lived and he is back to feeling entitled to telling me how to parent because he helped me. Grrrr!!!

As far as Tyson goes, we have continued to work on our relationship & I'm seeing a lot of progress! We're focusing on getting his grades back up by turning in missing assignments in math & he's working on being more respectful toward me & not being so quick to roll his eyes in exasperation. More than anything, we are both communicating our needs more and spending more one-on-one time together. We are also planning on going to church more often, beginning this Sunday.

SOU is going great - up to this point, I've just barely stayed on top of all my assignments because I've been living in turmoil, but I'm feeling better about planning & studying now that I have fewer distractions. I've still been going in a million different directions & moving during midterms didn't help. I applied for a program SOU offers that will help prepare me for grad school & help me get it paid for (I have the Ford Scholarship, but it only pays 80% toward grad school, so if I can get 100%, why not?). I'm considering doing an interdisciplinary degree in Sociology/Psychology, with a focus on gerontology and either a double major or a minor in Journalism. I'm meeting with the Psych advisor on Monday to discuss this upon the suggestion of my Soc advisor. Planning my future is exhausting work, but I'm pretty confident the payoff will be well worth it.

Oh, before I end this post to get some much-needed rest, an update for Tyson's basketball fans: We are 1:1 so far this season. Tyson continues to be a self-motivated team leader but has had to share the spotlight with his friend, Eddy, who has joined his team. Eddy's a very talented player who has a big height advantage. The experience has been somewhat difficult for Tyson to adjust to, but he respects Eddy & knows that he is a huge asset for the team, which is what is important in the long run.

Well, life hasn't been easy lately, but it could be worse. The living situation with my roomie hasn't gotten any better. We haven't yelled at eachother in a while, but that's only because we don't talk at all. Needless to say, I spend more time looking for a new place online and driving between Ashland and Medford looking than I do anything else. I think I'm getting closer, though, and I'm trying to be out by May 1st.

Tyson and I both have been making an effort to bond more and spat less. I can't call it fighting because it's not like that; it's more us getting annoyed and frustrated with each other, mostly him with me. I should mention, if I haven't previously, that Seth has been a big help with the whole situation with Tyson and has been very supportive of me, by telling me what a great mom he thinks I am or trying to make Tyson see my side as well as offering to have Tyson come over whenever he wants. We've come a long way! Tyson and I went to the movies last night and saw "Date Night," which was great! He started his new season of basketball a couple weeks ago & games begin this weekend. I actually miss the games in between seasons...!

My niece, Mary, and I hung out last weekend & did a photo shoot in Ashland's Railroad District about a mile from where I live. After the photo shoot, we went to lunch at The Creek, a cool little reggae dive which we've been to a few times now. And, hey, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's our photo shoot, as well as some pics I entered into the SOU photo contest of the campus, so you can see where I go to school now:

Mary's 21st Photo Shoot

Happy 14th Birthday, Tyson!

Well, life has been crazy as usual, but I'm sure my readers (aka family) expect no less from this determined & sometimes too spontaneous young(ish) woman.

I finished my last term at RCC (18 credits: 2 B's & 3 A's) & now officially have my Associate's degree. My final GPA after just under two years at RCC is a 3.6. I was accepted at SOU & start classes for my Bachelor's on Monday, March 29, the day after my 34th birthday. I'm taking two sociology classes, a journalism class, a meditation class, and cardio, tennis, and swimming (in an effort to get ready for summer). There will be a year to a year & a half between the time I get my Bachelor's & when I can enter the Master's program for Sociology, so I'm considering using the time to get a second degree in journalism, but we'll see. I might also use the time to get my practicum done for my Soc. Master's degree. I meet with my SOU advisor in April to discuss my possibilities further.

I moved in to a 4-bedroom house in Ashland with a friend who has two boys, ages 6 & 9, on March 1st. It was a little hectic, being finals week at RCC and all, but we did it! However, I don't think this is going to work out & I've begun to look for another place for me & Tyson already. Once again, my optimism got the best of me & I overestimated the good in another person. I'm pretty determined to let this be the last time that ever happens!

I splurged & gave myself a birthday cut & color today...nothing drastic, just trimmed up the dead ends & added some color to cover the grays & lighten it up for summer, but I like it.

Tyson spent Spring Break going to a basketball camp & continues to push himself to be the best little basketball player he can be, which I have to say is pretty impressive. He has a steady girlfriend who lives in Medford & is still doing well in school. He is becoming a teenager & has begun to distance himself from me, which breaks my heart a little, even though I knew it was coming. It's hard, though, with him being my only child & knowing he's leaving in four short years. I can only hope that he knows I tried my best to do right by him. It doesn't help that I'm having problems with my roommate & it looks like we're moving again already -- not exactly the stable home life I would want to provide for my child...

Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know what's going on with me these days. Hope everything's going well for all of you.

Hello again! Sorry it's been so long in between posts but I've been so dang busy with school this ter.! I love all of my classes (except for math, of course) and am just barely managing to stay on top of my deadlines. Speaking of deadlines, I've been writing more for the school newspaper than ever before now that I'm taking the journalism class. Here's the link to my articles online: http://roguebyline.wordpress.com/?s=amanda. Just click on the title and it will pull up the full story, complete with photos.

Gotta run, have a ton of homework to do. Happy reading!

I was driving last night & the song, Eye of the Tiger, came on the radio. This is a song I've heard for years and even sung along with but I think because it was so associated with the movie, Rocky, I never realized how much I liked the lyriics, which I've posted for you here:

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive
So many times, it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

[Chorus:]
It's the eye of the tiger, it's
the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds, still we take to the street
For the kill with the skill to survive

[Chorus]

Risin' up, straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

[Chorus]

The eye of the tiger
[Repeats to fade out]

So, as I said, I was DRIVING!! After The Guy & I broke up, my friend, Becky, introduced me to her husband's best friend, Brian. We've gone out on several dates but he's a complete gentleman, to the degree that I'm not even sure if he's interested in my in a girl/boy way but think he just enjoys my company and enjoys having a pressure-free girl to date. Anyway, he lives in Grants Pass (about a 45 minute drive away) so I don't see him often but will get a text or email every now and then or we'll meet up for dinner out or over at Becky's or her family's house. I mentioned to him that my Jeep had been broken down for over a month & the very next afternoon, he called to say that he was bringing me his Jeep Grand Cherokee to drive & would tow my Jeep back to his place to fix it in his garage. What a great guy! So now I'm not stranded and isolated as I was, and I'm feeling a lot better overall. I was starting to get a little depressed over the whole thing (missing Tyson's away games, not getting to go grocery shopping, having to ride the public bus with a lot of weirdos, etc.) so it's nice to feel like I have a life again!

I started my last term at RCC last week and it's gonna be tough, but I have every intention of making straight A's. It's totally possible if I just stick to my guns & stay on top of all my reading, studying, and assignments, which I plan to make my central focus this term. So far, so good.

I've enjoyed my Juvenile Delinquency class a lot. We watch videos about different topics each week (the last two were Inside the Teenaged Brain and Teen Violence) & write about them on a discussion forum with the rest of the online class. My math class is fairly simple and straightforward math, so as long as I stay on top of it & study for my tests, I think I'll do fine with that.

Figure drawing is a lot different than anything I've ever done but I can already see an improvement in my proportions by the end of the second class. I'm trying to get the hot guy from my Psych class last summer to do some nude modeling for the class, haha!! I'm taking Music with my brother, Allen. We wanted to take a class together before I move on to RCC. The class material covers classical composers such as Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach. The music is beautiful and it's something that neither my brother nor I would normally spend much time listening to but we both enjoy it a lot and the teacher is a hoot! She also has a bunch of degrees and not only performs music but has her finger in a lot of pies, including counseling work. She seems to have a lot of the same attitude & interests that I do & I think she'll be a good person to talk to about my future plans & network with.

Journalism has been interesting...The first day, there were four students in the class and during the second class, it was me and one other student besides the student editor and the professor. Nonetheless, I really enjoy being a "real" part of the newspaper & have been assigned to cover the following "beats:" Arts & Entertainment, Travel, and Environment. For A&E, I'll attend concerts or movies & write reviews. For travel, the prof suggested I do a short day-trip, for example to a coastal town, and write a travel log of my adventures while I take in the local flavor. I'm working on an article right now for an Environment piece & contacted the RCC Recycling Coordinator with some interview questions. It turns out she is an AmeriCorps volunteer and I did some online research to find out what that means. I think I found something I want to look into for myself. As a Soc major and as a scholarship recipient hoping to get grad school paid for, I need to find ways to help out in my community and that is exactly what AmeriCorps is all about -- not to mention in some cases they offer a living wage and scholarship or student loan forgiveness!

My friend Michele just called so I'm gonna go for now.

Well, it's been a while & I thought I should probably blog before I enter my next & final term at RCC & get too busy!

I'll be taking 18 credits this term (the most I've taken so far!) in order to graduate in time to transfer to SOU in the spring. I've registered for art, music, journalism, juvenille delinquency, and a math class. I'm going to have to dig deep to stay on top of all of them & recent disheartening experiences with people will enable me to be less social and more focused on myself. I won't go into details but I have seen recently how much people take advantage of me & I'm not going to allow them that opportunity anymore.

My jeep broke down about a month ago now. I replaced the radiator but immediately discovered that I had blown the head gasket as well, so have been in the (very lengthy) process of waiting for that to get fixed. I've been feeling pretty cooped up & have had to rely mostly on public transportation to get places. I start classes on the 5th & I set up a ride home for that evening but am not quite sure how I'll be getting home after that (the last bus leaves Medford at 6:30 p.m. & my class ends at 6:50 p.m.). I'm hoping someone in my class lives near me & can help me out with a ride home two nights a week.

Tyson's done with his school season of basketball & the AAU (community) season has begun. His knee has been doing a lot better for a while now & he continues to wow everyone who is lucky enough to see him play. We were going to look into moving so that Tyson could attend South Medford & play for their team but he has recently told me he's considering staying in the Phoenix school district where he already has built a reputation & will continue to be a team captain & get a lot of play time. I told him I was willing to do whatever I could to help him be successful but he needs to make up his mind before we make a move.

Tyson has been spending more time with his dad. Seth is making a little more effort by calling more often but has still only made one basketball game despite the fact that he lives next door to the school. I think the main thing is that Ty can watch his NBA games since they have cable & Seth cooks huge dinners with a lot of meat. Tyson has a voracious appetite now that he's a teenager!

We had a quiet Christmas but it was really nice to spend some quality one-on-one time with the kid without all of his friends over (which is usually the case). I will be happy to put 2009 behind me & am hoping for a better New Year!

Last night, I had an epiphany. I remember one night probably about 5 to 10 years ago that I was driving with my mom in the car & expressed to her how frustrated I was that I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Her reply was typical of my mother, infuriatingly calm, simple, passive, and wise: "Why don't you let it find you?"

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen. I've lived my life by the mantra "God helps those who helps themselves." And while I still believe that you have to take responsibility for your own fate, I've reached that point in my life where I can see the truth and wisdom in my mom's suggestion.

While I did ultimately make the decision to become a therapist and have made progress toward that goal, in retrospect, I realize that my whole life has been grooming me for this. I've known that certain aspects of my life have influenced my career decision -- my mom, my siblings, my upbringing, my temperament, my friends, the loss of Shannon, etc. But last night I began looking at the seemingly meaningless jobs that I have held that were, at the time, just a means to an end. I started to see a pattern and everything made sense.

When Tyson was 2 years old, I started working in te office of a physical therapist, which became a catalyst for other medical office jobs. This position taught me about charting, documentation, insurance billing, and scheduling. When I got the job at Siskiyou Eye Center, it was more of the same but I was introduced into the medical community in Ashland, providing me with the opportunity to learn medical transcription. Through SEC, I also met Marilyn Vicarro, LCSW, a family counselor who is my mentor and has written me several letters of recommendations for scholarships.

I got to thinking last night about some of the contacts I've made and that these people provide a network that have a lot of potential to be future positions in my field. I know three people who work out at the VA Dom, two of whom are in the Psych Dept. Because of Tyson and being involved in the Booster Club and sports through his school, I have contacts within the school district that may help me get a foot in the door there after I get my degree. I make confirmation calls for Marilyn's schedule and although I think she is planning to retire before I graduate, I also know the therapist who will be taking over her client base and I plan to talk to her about recommending me to him for overflow and vacation coverage when I start my private practice. Through medical transcription, I have met many of Ashland's physicians who are a potential source of mental health counseling referrals in the future. And because of my medical office experience, I know the ins and outs of running my own, from advertising to charting to confirmation calls to medical transcription to billing insurance. My business expenses can be kept to a minimum because I will be able to do most everything myself.

All of these years of networking and performing mundane tasks, trying not to burn bridges but never imagining that I would cross them again, have led to this -- the realization of my dreams, now that I DO know what I want to do with my life. All those years that felt like wasted time were simply preparing me so that when I did figure it out, I would have the tools to do it.

Unbeknownst to me, while I struggled impatiently to find my destiny, my destiny had already found me. I think that part of the reason this became clear to me now is because I only have two more terms at RCC before I get my AAOT degree. I remember when I thought I would never go to college. I also remember making the decision to go and writing about it right here in this blog. I remember enrolling in my first class. I remember applying for scholarships and not really understanding how it all worked and what it meant when I was awarded the Ford Scholaship. And now I've almost reached my first milestone, which makes the next two degrees feel that much more possible. I'm almost a third of the way done!

Thank you, Mom, for your good advice, even when it frustrates the heck out of me. Thank you for believing in me always and for supporting my adventurous spirit even when it meant I didn't do things your way.

Grades got posted today and I did get an A in the Motion Pictures class, giving me a 4.0 for the term and an a cumulative GPA of 3.7 (and rising)!

Last night, I went to celebrate my new friend, Clay's, 29th birthday and also called my old friend, Sarah, in San Diego to wish her a happy 33rd birthday. Today I worked like a madwoman to make up for not doing transcription yesterday. Tomorrow, I'm meeting Mary for coffee and going to a new friend's house to make him soup while he recovers from havig his wisdom teeth pulled. Did I mention he's a very hot friend? (Grin)

After visiting Cory this Saturday, I think I'm going to take Tyson to Crescent City to the drive-in and camp out in the redwoods, then get up and play on the beach Sunday, weather permitting. It's been a while since we did something fun, just the two of us, and I want to do something before we're both back in school and there's no time!

Well,I'm off to bed so I can get up early for coffee but wanted to share my good news with my loved ones... Goodnight, y'all!

Been busy as usual and life just seems to be an uphill battle lately. I think I'm experiencing my biological clock and some residual depression as a result. I know better than to dwell & I am wise enough in my many years (ha!) to recognize the many blessings I have receieved - my amazing child that I do have, for one. I know I gush about him all the time, but he really is my biggest source of pride and my consistent ray of light. When my friends let me down, when I feel frustrated in my love life, when I struggle to keep up in school or with work, or when I question myself, I can always look at him and know that I have done something amazing and worthwhile.

He just started football practice last week and is now officially taller than me - no more denying it. He starts 8th grade after Labor Day Weekend.

I withdrew from my online science class over the summer & my grades come out on the 2nd. I know I got an A in my PE & Psych classes but don't know yet if I got an A or B in Intro to Motion Pictures. It was hardly the fun, piece-of-cake class that I thought it would be!

Johny moved back to California after several months of trying to tough it out here. My brother, Allen, resumed classes at RCC with me over the summer & will be continuing in the fall. My niece, Mary, and her boyfriend, Matt, moved up here from Humboldt County & are renting a cute little 2 bdrm house in Medford. He lined up a job before they moved up here but she's still looking. I went to lunch with her and my other niece who lives here, Heather, the other day and last night I went to watch Heather play softball with Tyson & his friend, Sam. Next Saturday, I plan on visiting my nephew (Allen's son) in jail.

I'm hoping to make family and some long-lost friends more of a priority over the next month I have off from school, as well as trying to get some down time for myself and getting more organized and making time to exercise. The problem is, I do still have to work and get Ty all ready for school & football, so I'll still be plenty busy.

Well, hello, outside world! As usual, my blog is way behind the times, but summer's a-comin' & time flies when you're having fun! A few quick things to note:

My nephew, Johny, moved in with me a couple of weeks ago. He's been loving it here & marvels about our sunny weather in contrast to the Norther California coast where he's from. He got my brother's car up & running & registered, so he's using that to beat the streets looking for work. My friend, Ganey, has also been staying with us. Tyson's still being a little stud, except for he just doesn't seem so little anymore. For one thing, I'm just a hair taller than him, now! He has this really great girl that's "just a friend" but they like each other & she comes to watch all of his basketball games with me. She's also a junior olympics gymnast and the top in the state & has a great personality & is cute! Obviously, my boy has good taste.

Anyway, I'm really excited about my next two terms which I finally registered for (and then just one more 14 credit term during winter & I'm done!) & wanted to post the classes I'm taking:

Summer Term:
Core & Cardio (of course!)
Psychology with my first Psych prof -- I got an A+ in her class!
Intro to Motion Pictures (online)
and Physical Science (online)

Fall Term:
Intro to Drawing
First Year Italian
Chorus (!!!)
Backpacking, which consists of one "orientation" & one weekend long hiking/camping trip
Core & Cardio (yup -- again!)
and Philosophy

Seriously, does it even get better than this? I think not...

*Tracy, Bridget, Officer Brett, me, and Vanessa*

The weekend before last, I took a roadtrip down to Red Bluff with my friend Bridget & her two friends, Vanessa & Tracy. We were supposed to go to the rodeo but never made it, due to some inconsistencies between the internet ad & the reality of our reserved motel room which escalated into a "situation" that caused us to call the police. When the owner refused to give us our money back even with the assistance of Officer Brett, we turned on the hot water in the shower, cranked up the A/C full blast & went on down the road to a clean motel room for half the price, where we got ready for the big event of the entire trip: The Palamino Room. Once we arrived, we paid our cover charge of $8 each and did a little bit of dancing (VERY little on my part, as I am still trying to recouperate from the hip & rib injuries from the 4-wheeler accident). We decided it would be more fun, not to mention quite a bit cheaper, to drink the drinks we brought with us & basically had us a ho-down tailgater party in the parking lot of The Palamino Room. Bridget was in cowboy heaven! I ended up drinking entirely too much wine, threw up, & had to be driven (lying in the back of the truck bed) back to the motel room to sleep it off.

We awoke the next morning & went out to breakfast before heading back home in time for Tyson's basketball game. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling all that fabulous, but it wasn't until the next day that I realized that I was actually sick. And it wasn't until a couple days after that that I could hardly breathe, my throat was so swollen. When it progressed to the point where I was waking up crying because my throat, ear, & head hurt so bad, I finally bit the bullet & went to the doctor. (When you're uninsured as I am, you tend to avoid doctors & heal on your own.) He informed me that I had strep throat & prescribed some antibiotics. It's been a rough month!

I have, however, managed to stay on top of all my homework & transcription, as well as work on creating an advice column with my friend, Ganey, for the college newspaper (complete with online blog so students can post their questions anonymously: http://askanythingthosegirls.blogspot.com/). It came out in print today but they haven't posted a link to it online. I'll post it here when they do - I'm really excited about it!

Briefly, other stuff that has been going on includes:
* Tyson is playing for two basketball teams - Ashland & Phoenix/Talent (& starting on both, co-team captain of the P/T team). At one of his games yesterday alone, he scored 24 of the 38 points!
* My nephew, Johny, is coming next week to stay with us while he looks for work & gets a place of his own.
* My friend, Lisa, was let go from the Siskiyou Eye Center.
* I think I'm going to pass on the Italy trip since I can't take Tyson with me. I'd love to go, but am not devastated by the idea that I may not. It just doesn't feel right & I know while there may not be another opportunity like this one, I will eventually get to do my traveling.
* My new friend, Clay, colored my hair a cinnamon brown... Let me know if you like it or the frosted blonde look better.

Happy Easter! Ours began great. Tyson had stayed the night at his dad's house the night before for a belated birthday celebration. I picked him up early and we went to church with my friend, Bridget, and her family in Ashland. They had coffee, hot chocolate, and goodies there. The service was held outdoors and it was pretty chilly but very enjoyable nonetheless. Tyson & I have both missed going to church & agreed that we need to go back more often.

Afterward, we went with Bridget to her parents' ranch out by Emmigrant Lake & had a BBQ. Tyson got really excited upon hearing that they had a quad and would let him ride it around the property. After a 2-minute tutorial, he was off and running, beginning at a snail's pace and gradually becoming more confident. I know Tyson is a safe & responsible kid & he was wearing a helmet, so I wasn't too concerned. He was so proud of himself that he asked if he could give me a ride & I enthusiastically took him up on the offer, skirt & all. I told him to drive safely, since I didn't have jeans on to protect my legs if we wrecked. Everything was going fine until we drove up on the side of a hill & the steering locked when Tyson tried to turn out of the curve. Once I saw that we were headed straight for another quad that was parked by a fire pit, it was too late to say or do anything. We slammed into the parked quad at probably 25 mph or so & went flying. The quad we were riding didn't roll over onto us, thank goodness, but we were both thrown a significant distance, landing on the other side of the fire pit and somehow managing to avoid the broken glass bottles & nails that were everywhere on the ground around us. I landed straight onto my right side with no hands down for protection, landing on my hip & ribs, then continued to roll a few more times. Apparently, this is pretty much what happened to Tyson, too, since we ended up right next to each other on the ground. Several moments passed before either of us could see straight, much less realize what had happened & catch our breath. The first words out of Tyson's mouth were, "Mom, are you okay?" before he began wheezing in a way that terrified me & gave me visions of a rib jutting out through his skin or a stick puncturing his lung or some similarly fatal injury. I replied weakly, "I...think...so...You?" He said he thought he was, too. Then I said a word I never use in his company & he said that he was a dumb-ass. Nothing like a life-threatening crash to lower our inhibitions about swearing in front of the other! As much as I didn't want to move, I thought we should get up & walk back to the house to tell Bridget's parents that we might have damaged their 4-wheeler. Tyson was more concerned about me "getting sued" than his own injuries, bless his heart. On the walk back, he said that of course something bad happened. I asked him why he would say that & he reminded me that it was Easter morning 5 years ago that we got the call about Shannon. I couldn't believe it - this was the first year I hadn't thought about it. We managed to get back up the road to the house & Bridet's mom took one look at us & asked, "What happened? Did you wreck?" Considering that we were both covered in blood, dirt, and soot from the firepit, I thought this quesiton was a tad redundant & replied, "Uh, no. Why do you ask?" & then proceeded to tell them what had happened. We got cleaned up as best we could & came home to recouperate.

Tyson mainly just has some scrapes around his waist line & a bruised rib, but he's so young & athletic that he still went to basketball practice tonight. I, on the other hand, am a little worse for the wear & am having a hard time moving. When we came home, I soaked in the tub to get some of the dirt out of my scrapes because I'm too big a baby to scrub at them & then took some Advil & laid down for a nap. While I was napping, Seth came by to bring an Easter basket for Tyson & came up to check on me when he heard what had happened. He was very kind & sympathetic. When he left, I came downstairs & Ty & I curled up on the couch with a blanket & a movie. Seth came back a little while later with some leftovers from his Easter dinner with his fiance & her family & heated them up for us. I feel guilty for admitting this, but the whole time I was wondering what his ulterior motive for being so nice & thoughtful was. But as far as I can tell, there wasn't one...(?)

So, that was Easter. Today I had a math quiz that I'm not allowed to make up, so I had to throw on some sweats & take my gimp hiney to school, then pick up tapes in Ashland. When I was coming home, I figured that I should probably stop by Wal-Mart for some household items while I was out & managed to back into a truck in the parking lot. I didn't realize that I couldn't see clearly due to my inability to look as far as normal over my shoulder, but I completely didn't see him until it was too late & I'd backed into him. I felt like crying out of sheer frustration, but somehow held it together & exchanged insurance information with the guy, who was very cordial about the whole thing.

Anyway, I'm beat & am gonna take a couple more Advil/Aleve/Tylenol/whatever I can find & go to bed. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, consisting of math, a test in my music class, and core & cardio, which I'm not really sure how I'm going to do but figure I should at least show up & then go from there.